Do I Look Like A Skank to You?

I I woke up, to the sound of two people talking. I groaned, rolled over, and tried to go back to sleep. Then I groaned again, this time because of the pain in my rear end. Hmmm, I could actually say Patrick is a pain in the ass! Or would it be my ass? A pain in my ass? Why am I thinking this?
“Oh look, he’s awake.” Kane said, chucking a bottle of advil at my head.
I hit me in the nose.
“Owwwwww.” I whined. As Patrick passed me a glass of water. I sat up to take the painkillers, and winced.
“Yeah, It’ll hurt for a while...” Kane said. Wincing. I rolled my eyes.
“Every time you talk about it, you wince. Was it really that bad?” I asked. Kane winced again.
“I’ll have you know I was handcuffed, gagged, blindfolded, AND cover in chocolate.”
My jaw dropped. So did Patrick’s.
“Did you have some sort of hot and heavy thing with Willy Wonka?” Patrick asked, gently sitting down beside me, and placing me on his lap. I was still wearing nothing, by the way.
“Ha ha, actually, it was with your friend Mike.” Kane said, smirking a little bit. I laughed. Kane and Mike, the perfect couple. I mean it.
“WHAT?” Patrick asked, sitting up suddenly, lucky for me, Kane caught me. He also carried me into the bathroom, and placed me in a bath full of warm, bubbly water. HEAVEN!
“I’ll see you later Chase, right now, I gotta talk to Patrick.” Kane said, smiling at me as he shut the door. The bathroom, is right off the bedroom, so I can hear everything they’re saying. Which is good. Cause I want to.
“Mike? My friend Mike? Really?” Patrick asked. Kane laughed. “Please tell me you knew we were dating?” Kane said. I didn’t know they were dating. Huh.
“You were, REALLY? THAT’S SO CUTE! Wait. What happened?” Patrick asked. Kane sighed.
“He met Shannon, dumped me for her, we’re still friends though, she hates me, and she’s cheating on him with like, 4 different guys.” I gasped. Mike, is like, (hey, that rhymed!) The COOLEST person ever. He’s sweet, decent, and does not deserve to get cheated on by some dumb bitchy slut. Who’s best friends with Nina, (the annoying slut) ironically.
“Have you told him?” Patrick asked.
“No! Are you crazy? He’d think I was making the whole thing up, he’s completely wrapped around her little finger. You tell him.” Kane said. I could tell he was pacing. It’s true, Mike is wrapped around Shannon’s little finger. It’s pathetic.
“He wouldn’t hate you.” Patrick said. I think Mike would. He thinks he’s in love with Shannon. Key word: thinks.
“Cause, his ex boyfriend, who calls him up randomly to tell him his girlfriend is cheating on him, he knows we hate each other. Oh yeah, I’m totally doing this out of the goodness of my heart.” Kane said, raising his voice. Wow. He’s really freaking out about this.
“Ok...I’ll talk to him.” Patrick said.
5 MINUETS LATER:
“WELL, FUCK YOU TOO!” Patrick yelled, slamming the phone down. That went well. I sighed, as I got of out the tub, and dried off. I wrapped a towel around my waist, and went back to the bedroom to grab a pair of sweat pants, I know for a fact Patrick brought down. Cause he loves me. Well, the sweat pants were for him, but, they’re mine now! MUAHHAHAHA!
“Chase, those are my sweat pants.” Patrick whined. “Mike is mad at me, he’s acting like a douche, gimme!”
“Does your ass hurt?” I asked, hands on my hips.
“No.” Patrick sighed, as he stripped the bed. Yeah, those sheets definitely needed to be changed.
“Well then, and don’t worry about Mike, he’ll come around. Just ask Abby.” I said, giving Kane, and Patrick hugs. They both needed them.
“Abby? Why Abby?” Kane asked, looking confused. I grinned.
“Because Abby has a picture of Shannon making out with another guy on her home computer.” I love my friends. We’re like, an anti-bitch club!