Please Be Mine

It had been the longest month ever. I hadn't spoken a word with Joe. And I really wasn't planning on doing so. The day I left Joe's apartment I went back to Nathaly's house. The next day I told her everything and got lectured for it. I know it was too soon and a decision too big. I did regret giving back the promise ring to Joe. I missed admiring it and thinking of Joe. But I still wasn't going to forgive him anytime soon. As much as I missed him. 

He had been calling me nonstop and as you can guess I never picked up the phone. Never listened to the voice mail. And never read the texts. I really wasn't in the mood. He had me really pissed off. So I didn't want to hear from him in a while. It hurt way too much, though. I still loved him more than anything but because of that I felt totally betrayed. 
 
From what I had heard he was a mess, of course he would be, predictable. And it was coming from his family so I had to assume he was doing a bit better than they said he was.

Even though things between Joe and I weren't really working, I was still in touch with his family, and I was still helping with Kevin's wedding, which was just around the corner. The wedding was going to be next weekend. We were all flying to New York for that. That was going to be a bit awkward for me. Being in the same room with Joe and his entire family, but now it would be different, I wouldn't be there as his girlfriend and I was nervous as his family's reaction. And by that I mean, not Denise, Paul and the guys, the rest of his huge family.

Today we were picking up the dresses, Dani's beautiful dress and the bride maids dresses. We were also going to see the hairstylist and makeup artist for a rehearsal. And speaking of rehearsals, tonight was going to be the wedding rehearsal. It was going to be a week before because we were flying to NY just the day before and it would be too much to handle. So it was going to be tonight. Which meant seeing Joe for the first time in a month. So this would be interesting. 

I was going to pick up Danielle and then head to the designer's studio. I took a quick shower and got dressed quickly as I was running late. I didn't put on any makeup and just put my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed my purse and keys, and called out for my mom who was coming with us. 

We walked outside and got in the car. I started it and pulled out the driveway. I started driving and my mom spoke.

"Giselle, can I ask you something, honey?" 

"Yeah, sure." I responded.  

"Sweetheart, have you tried to fix things with Joe?" she said turning to look at me. 

"No, mom. I'm not planning to in anytime soon." I responded not taking my eyes off the road and turning left. 

"Don't you think you're being too hard on him? I've talked to Denise and she keeps telling me how worried she is for him. He's hurting, honey," she tried once again. 

"And don't you think it's hurting me too? You don't know the whole story. Look, I really don't want to talk about that. Sorry, mom," I looked at her from the corner of my eye. 

"It's alright, honey," she said and turned to look out the window. 

The rest of the ride was silent. I know my mom was worried about me. And she loves Joe a lot so I understand she really wanted us to make up. And some part of me wanted to, too. 

I turned on the radio and listened to the music, humming softly. We pulled up at the Jonas' where Danielle and Denise would be waiting for us. I honked the horn and waited for them to come out. After a minute they walked out the house and to my car. Just as they were getting in the door of the house opened once again and I saw him, Joe was taking out the garbage. He looked tired, scruff over his face, bags under his eyes, disheveled hair. I felt really bad then. Maybe what they were saying was true. He was a mess. But he was still beautiful to me, yes beautiful. I held my breath for a second, then he looked at me but I quickly looked away. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. Once Danielle and Denise were inside the car I pulled out the driveway. I kept looking back at him through the rearview mirror. He stood on the sidewalk just watching us go. I felt a hole in my stomach but tryed to think of something else so I joined the conversation they were having in the car.

I drove to the designer's studio and we got out. Dani was so excited, she almost started crying just by getting her dress. We brought the dresses to my car and put the in the trunk. I was pretty silent the whole time, I kept thinking about Joe every minute. 

We got in the car again, this time Dani took the passenger seat. 

"You alright?" she whispered to me once the mommas had started chatting. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Giselle, I know you keep thinking about him. You okay?" she said rubbing down my arm and looking at me. I shook my head but didn't say anything. "You know, I'm sure everything's going to turn out fine. You just need to talk it out. You two guys love each other," she finished smiling sympathetically. 

"Thanks, Dani," I whispered back. She just smiled again and nodded.

I kept driving silently. I was glad I had Dani as my friend. She really was someone I could talk to and feel comfortable, and she was so understanding. I could tell why Kevin loved her so much. She's amazing. 

We arrived at the salon shortly after. It really took a long time there. Dani was really nervous. Everything had to be perfect for the day. We all got our hair done and makeup too. Dani insisted we got our nails done, too, so we did. I really didn't want to be there. I wanted to head home and just rest, I needed to think. Seeing Joe was something I didn't expect and it changed my whole day.  

After what felt like forever we were finally done. I dropped Danielle and Denise at the Jonas' and then drove home. I could feel my mom's glance on me. I was sure she wanted to talk but she could sense I was not in the mood.

Once we got home I walked to my room. I still had to get ready for the rehearsal tonight. Which wasn't really inviting. After a while I decided I really had to, seeing as not going and staying in bed wasn't an option, so I walked to my closet and took out the dress I was wearing.   

I stepped in it and fixed myself in the mirror. I was practically done since we had our hair and makeup done earlier. My mom knocked on my door, "sweetherat, we're leaving in a few minutes."

"Okay, I'm coming." I put on my heels and grabbed my clutch, then walked downstairs where everyone was already waiting. We walked outside, my mom gave me a short comforting hug. We got into the car and drove to the rehearsal dinner.