To the End of Sweet Revenge

Dakota’s POV

As hard as it was for the others, especially as they knew that it was mainly my fault that Jay wasn’t playing. However they were troopers about the whole situation and done what was right. We knew it was going to be hard especially with one guitar down but luckily for us I knew how to play Jay's part.

My selfish and stubborn ways were taking affect and people were really starting to notice which I knew wasn’t good, the last thing I needed to do was relapse and rather then damage Gerard, damage myself.

After our set and walking off the stage, I noticed Gerard from afar where he seemed to be doing some type of TV interview. Walking past I made sure to make eye contact with him in order to make him feel special.

Knowing that I was watching him yet knowing I knew he couldn’t say anything.

My main plan with Gerard was to get the 3 amazing words out of his mouth being I love you once I'd heard him say them I knew that he would be mine for the taking and I could finally destroy him and push over the edge.

Back towards the bus Jay was standing there against the bus, upon seeing her Mac walked over to her and punched her in the face, which for me was an utter shock, my antics were causing fights amongst my friends and though feeling thoroughly guilty about it.

I still felt compelled to go ahead with my plan of destruction.

"Fuck! Mackenzie, what was that for?" Jay yelled as she rubbed her cheek where she'd been hit.

"You know why…Not playing…What the hell!" Mac yelled in frustration.

"This isn't my problem Mac...This is all Dakota's doing"

Mac looked towards her and then back at me. "You guys both need to get a grip of what's happening, this has got to stop seriously" Mac yelled at both of us.

"She knows what she has to do" Jay calmly replied.

"If you didn’t butt in to something that had nothing to do with you well then we wouldn’t be in this situation would we?" I screamed at Jay.

"If you weren't so bloody stubborn, this would never be happening but I don’t want to be playing in a band where your not trust worthy. Dakota Gerard doesn’t deserve this and you know it, brining up your past isn't the right way about it and you know it."

"Like you know what I went through, you have no idea…To go to sleep every night and have a constant reminder and then when waking up in the morning, you don’t want to be here but you plod along knowing you have too, SO don’t you dare tell me what I can and cant do." I replied seething with anger and ready to burst.

"Well answer me this then…What's Gerard got to do with this?"

Looking at Jay I didn’t know what to say and Mac was also looking at me for an answer, how I was going to answer the question asked I truly had not idea.

"See didn’t think you could answer it, because you know he deserves none of this and you have a problem with me standing up for in what I believe."

"Is this true Dakota?" Mac asked.

The only thing I could do was nod in agreement, but wasn’t going to admit defeat to Jay, even If she was aware of my problems and my past.

I needed to let my anger out and Gerard was my likely subject, maybe I was being dumb or a bitch but I didn’t care…To me this is what I needed to do and I was hell bent on the idea that I was going to succeed.

"See Mac and you punch me in the face" Jay said.

Looking at them I didn’t know what to do, but before I had a chance to speak Mac did. "I know that, but at the same time…it’s not the point…you not playing. Do you know how bad that was, we said we would always stick together through thick and thin…and you weren’t there. You left us dry"

After Mac said what she'd said she stormed off and back on to the tour bus, where she left Jay and I by ourselves.

Staring at each other, neither of us could find it in our hearts to speak. I wanted to but then I saw how she was treating me and left it at the fact that I was right and she was wrong.

"How long is this gonna go on for" Coco yelled towards us as she walked out of the tour bus.

"Ask Dakota?" was Jay's smug reply.

"So Dakota how long?" Coco asked.

"Until I see fit" I replied giving a dirty look towards Jay, she was starting to piss me off with her laid back attitude of being a bitch.

"Well Dakka…I don’t know why your doing what your doing…and I'll stay out of it. But at the same time you have to stop please" Coco begged.

Not sure of what to do next I knew for a fact I wasn’t going to let these guys sway me from my decision but at the same time my feelings for Gerard were changing and that was something I couldn’t deny.

There were simply strong feelings and I liked it, I really did like Gerard the physical attraction was undeniable but I knew that I'd give up on some happiness in my life to complete my task that I'd set for myself.

Coco continued to look at me not sure of what to say where as jay had stormed off. "Coco I'm sorry but he really did hurt me and I want to make him pay"

"Dakka…why not just break up with him then…wont that do?"

"I don’t even know where we stand…he needs more to know what it's like to be humiliated."

"This isn’t all to do with Gerard though is it…it's got to do with him doesn’t it? Coco asked.

Looking at her I could feel my knees go weak as I thought about him, the horror was being relived in my mind and I could feel my body start to tremble, Coco ran over to me as I started to succumb under the pressure and my legs gave way, making me fall to the ground.

Instantly she picked me up and started to mutter sorry in my ear, helping me on to the bus she placed me on the sofa where Frank and Ray walked out of the studio and looked at me.

"Shit Dakota are you ok…you look like you have seen a ghost" Ray asked.

Unable to say anything I could feel my body still tremble as the warm tears started to slide down my face.

"Coco is she ok?" Frank asked.

"Ahh yeh" Coco replied.

Sitting there I looked at the wall of the bus with the thought's of my past in my head reliving the drama that had occurred and bought me down as a person, blocking everyone out that was around me.

**Flashback**
I knew exactly where I was the pain was shooting through my feet as I could feel the crunching sound of the leaves and twigs every time I moved. All that was going through my mind was determination to escape to be free.

Blocking the sunlight with my hand I glinted as I looked forward and all I could see was trees. Continuing to slowly walk, I had to make sure he knew I hadn’t gone, not to make any noise, to be quiet as a mouse.

I didn’t want to go back, I couldn’t because if I did, I knew that I would die.
**End of Flashback**

Shaking my head I tried to get the horrible thought's out of my mind, making eye contact I noticed that Gerard was there watching my every move trying to understand what was happening. I gazed towards him as he placed his hand in mine.

Coco on the other hand was no longer by my side but rather against Frank who was also looking at me. “Dakota are you ok?” Gerard asked.

I nodded and whispered meekly “What happened?”

“For the last half an hour or so, you’ve just been staring in your own little world”

“Oh” was all I could mutter, not wanting to say anything about though knowing Coco knew for sure what was up and would be concerned that I was going to relapse.

But I wouldn’t allow it...I was better then that but everything was daunting and I wasnt sure if I could forget and deal with what was happening now in my life. My only way out was to focus on something, to let my anger out and it had to be Gerard.

Gerard’s POV

Watching Dakota in her own little world was scary, where she was I had no idea. She hadn’t responded to anyone calling her name, rather she had looked so blank in the face like she wasn’t even here only the shell of her body.

I so wanted and needed to know more but whether Dakota would open up to me was a different story...I needed her to feel as though she could trust me as I wasnt going to hurt her ever. The past was the past and I was sure we had moved on from there.

All I wanted was to give her happiness and show her that everything was alright and that nothing bad would ever hurt her again. I had a feeling she’d been hurt in the past from her antics to the way the rest of the girls protected her.

But then Jay and her were arguing and I knew that must be getting her down but what about I wasnt too sure.

Though I was starting to think it had to do with that night where Dakota and Jay had been arguing and then drunk as she was Jay had tried to tell me that Dakota was out to destroy me, it hadn’t played on my mind but now thinking about it. I was finally starting to analyse the scenario and see what conclusion I could come up with.

Watching Dakota she eventually got up from where she was sitting and walked over to the bunk area where she crept in to her bunk and closed the curtain. Instantly I followed her knowing I didnt have to be on stage for another hour or so I wanted to make sure she was ok and that I would be watching over her.

Quietly I opened the curtain where Dakota had her back to me, crawling in to the bunk, I could hear soft sniffing from her, Placing my arms around her I held her tight while she shifted her body so that her face was now facing mine. The tears softly slid down her face as she looked at me.

“Dakota what’s wrong?” I asked.

“So much” She replied in the softest voice.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Shaking her head I continued to hold her where she softly kissed me on the lips, I felt like I was in heaven and wanted to stay this way forever but only hoping she would open up and allow me access in to her thoughts.

Before long she drifted to sleep in my arms, knowing I had to go I kissed her forehead and whispered in to her ear “I’m falling in love with you.”

Leaving it at that I left the bus for the performance that was ahead.