To the End of Sweet Revenge

Dakota’s POV

Now heading to Camden in New Jersey, I'd spent most of my time in the bathroom. It was nice that everyone had left me alone and when I had entered with a towel wrapped around my head, they had all left me a lone yet again.

I could feel that Coco was itching to say something and I was rather curious to know what had happened with Frank and her.

But rather I said nothing too consumed in my own guilt to really wanna start any form of conversation.

Walking to the bunk area I sat on an empty bunk where lying down for a few minutes, Coco came over full of smiles.

"Dakka can we talk?" she asked innocently.

Looking up at her, my face was plain unable to have any emotion as I lay there.

"Sure" I whispered.

"Good" She squealed as she wrapped her arms around me with all her might.

"What did you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"Well me and the girls are worried and so is Jeff, because you seem so down. And yes we understand why that's not the point. Basically are you gonna be able to perform today?" Coco blurted out.

Thinking about it for a minute I nodded. "Yeh Coco…I'll do it, especially as we are back in Jersey."

"Dakota that's just great… Mac found these outfits for us to wear, she has them in her bag, it's like we are slutty army chicks. Mac thought seeing we were gonna be back home why not dress to impress and show off to our families."

"That sounds real nice Coco…I look forward to it" I replied with a soft smile.

Thinking this was now the end of it, Coco continued sit on the bunk looking at me, and I had a feeling she was trying to work out what to say and how to word it.

"Coco is there anything else cause I really wanna be by myself."

Looking at me stunned she ignored what I had to say and started to babble yet again.

"Dakota…why don’t you come and sit with us or maybe we could talk about what happened."

"Look Coco I know your trying to be nice and all but can I please be left alone."

"Aww come on Dakota…Guess what Frank and I done?"

Looking at Coco…I waited for an answer, I wanted to know but at the same time I wanted
my space.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We slept together" Coco squealed.

Hearing the words from Coco's mouth I was shocked, and she could tell. "Silly we didn’t we didn’t like sleep together, we just slept together."

"Oh…" was all I could manage to reply.

"I wouldn’t do anything like that, Frank has a girlfriend anyways. But it was fun." Coco giggled.

"Ok then" I said as I tried to close my eyes as the thought's of Gerard were returning once again.

"Dakota, oh my god did you dye your hair?" Coco asked as she flicked the towel off my head.

"Yeh I did."

"Dakka it' looks awesome, you know Gerard will want you back, he just needs time to work
everything out."

"I doubt it Coco, he really does hate me and well I don’t blame him" I replied.

Coco looked towards me and said nothing, not wanting to talk anymore, I rolled over so as to face the wall and be left alone, until it was time to go on stage where I knew that I had to pull it all together and become something that I wasn’t.

The bus ride seem to go pretty quick and before I knew it we had arrived in Camden, automatically the bus stopped and the doors opened, Coco was the first to get off where as jay had stayed behind while I still lay on my bunk.

"Dakota are you gonna come?" She whispered.

Turning over she could see the tears in my eyes. "Aww honey..I know it hurts but you done the right thing, it will get better."

"I wanna be with him so much Jay, and it's hurting soo bad that I cant, I feel like the worst person ever.”

"As time goes by it will get better, now get up and get some sun ok" Jay replied with a smile.

Rolling off the bed, I place some shoes on and checked the time. We still had a couple of hours before going on stage and I hoped that I wasn’t a wreck by the time it happened.

Placing my sunglasses over my teary eyes, I headed out of the bus where I looked around to see if Gerard was around anywhere, as much as I didnt want to see him, I felt I needed to. It was like if he saw me then that just maybe he would fall in love with me all over again.

Unable to see him and really only see Frank who was once again hanging out with Coco, I walked with Jay in silence to the eatery, I was actually famished and really needed something in me before I made myself sick.

Entering the tent it was nice and quiet besides the staff who were getting the food ready, walking in I grabbed a egg sandwich from the refrigerator and a bottle of water, sitting at one of the table’s out side.

Jay walked over to me with her food and sat down, as much as I thought it was sweet at the same time I wasnt in the mood for conversations, heck I wasnt even in the mood to go out and perform but I knew it had to be done.

It was my job and in order to survive I needed to go out there and perform with all my heart, only my heart was broken and I wasnt sure how much more I could take of it.

“I like your hair” Jay said as she tried to open up a conversation which I wasn’t interested in being involved in.

Getting up I left, my mind was on other things and that’s all I could think of, heading back towards the bus I removed my glasses as I wiped the tears away from eyes as they slid down my face, slumping to the ground I had my back to the bus as the tears flowed freely with my head in my hands trying to cover my face.

There was so much torment and all I wanted was for all of it to go away. Looking up I saw him as he stared back at me, our eyes made contact as he walked past in such a hurry, tears continued to fall. Not sure of what to do I did what I was best at and that was too run. Seeing him I could see how torn he was especially bu his facial expressions towards me.

There wasnt an inch of happiness it looked like death had swept over and all I could see was sadness, getting to our bus I ran on where I found Jeff.

“Dakota what’s going on, are you ok?” he asked.

“Jeff I’m fine” I replied as I cleaned my face up.

“Good, well here’s your gear, the other girls have there’s.” Jeff responded as he handed me a bag.

Glancing in the bag, I could see a dress the colour of a standard army uniform - tan in colour, with heals along with fishnets and a black corset, little tan hat, suspenders and red stockings to go over it, going to the back of the bus I decided to get changed and wait for the other.

I didnt have to wait long as all three of them came on the bus dressed in their outfits, together we actually looked hot, however I wasnt with it and didnt really care.

“Lets give Jersey something to remember us by” Coco squealed.

“Fuck yeh!” Mac replied.

“Dakka’s it’s gonna be ok.” Jay replied.

I nodded my head and actually let a real smile come out, my friends were just wanting to be there for me and I needed them more then ever, I needed to open up and that was what I was going to do, stepping off the bus the wolf whistles started, looking over I could see that it was Frank, looking towards him I smiled and got it back in return.

Maybe today wasnt going to be as bad as I thought, heading to the stage it was time for the show to begin.



Gerard’s POV

Seeing Dakota as I walked past her was heart wrenching, she’d looked so sad and you could see the torment she was putting herself through. I was really starting to feel guilty for not forgiving her, I wanted to but I didnt know how and really why I should.

She’d abused the trust that I had given her and I didnt think I’d be able to give that back to her as much as I wanted to, she’d done too much damage that was not reversible

My heart and mind were confused and what action to take next I didnt know, I felt like I needed more time, to think about it. But how much time did I give, if I left it too long, I could loose her and the feelings I had inside of me didnt want to loose her, I wanted her to be apart of my life.

I needed her to be apart of it, but to talk to her. I knew that there was still all this rage and if I spoke now she wouldn’t hear the end from me.

I wanted to be cool, calm and collected before I spoke to her, but having seen that glimpse of her made me want more. It was like a drug and I needed to see her again without her knowing that I was there.

Sitting on our bus after having done some radio interviews, Frank came running on full of giggles.

“Gee we gotta watch Landslide, you should have seen there get up, it was fucking hot and Dakota her hair fuck it was a turn on, please you gotta come”

Frank need not say anymore I was already there as soon as he had said the word Landslide, I just had to make sure we were back for Mikey’s return, he was gonna play a song with us tonight and I was really excited about having my little brother there and to finally be able to talk to him, I needed it more then anything.

My Ma would be arriving him as well and I know she was pretty psyched about seeing me.

“Ok” I whispered to Frank.

“Great we gotta now, there on.” Frank yelled as he ran of the bus with me in hot pursuit.

Running for what seemed like ages, we made it just as Landslide had started, seeing her up on stage was mesmerising, she had such an angelic voice or so I thought and seeing her in her get up was hot.

She looked so beautiful and so natural up on stage, I just didnt want her to see me watching, I couldn’t talk to her yet but I knew that the time would soon come.