Losing Touch

The feeling of need was rumbling in the pit of my stomach. I needed John more than ever now because I pushed him away. I knew I was a bit of a self-centered egotistical bitch, but it’s too late to go back now. I was far too weak and John was on tour, which would make a disastrous situation.

I sighed and started to twiddle my thumbs. I had nothing to do, not in this state anyway. I had gotten home yesterday from the hospital and I had been feeling really weird for the time I was in the hospital, but especially today. Something about today just felt wrong. That instinct in the back of my head just kept nagging at me for an unknown reason.

I reached over for my phone and found that I had a missed call from my eldest brother, Byron. I smiled because I hadn’t talked to him in the longest time. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was 10:23. I then proceeded to call his number and waited for him to pick up his phone.

“Hello?”

“Byron! I miss you so much!” I said immediately.

“Zoe! I miss you too little sis!” He answered enthusiastically.

“How have you been?”

“Good. Are you and John doing okay now?”

“Well… I left him again when he got mad because the guys got a tour booked and I had chemo. But we’re on good terms, yes. We both know that we both just acted on impulses and didn’t think things through. I just hope I can see him again soon.” I sighed after I had finished.

“It’s good that you guys made up at least. I don’t think I could handle more calls from Kennedy telling me about how worried and shit he was about you and about how John was holding up. It drove me insane, though I was worrying about both of you also.”

“What? Ken used to vent to you?”

“Yeah, he didn’t tell you? Oh, too bad, you know now.” He laughed, “But I used to get a lot of phone calls about how worried he was. Man, you have no idea how many times I thought they were both going to lose their sanity.” I rubbed my face with my hand.

“Zoe!” I heard Olivia call as she made her way through the house to my room. “Z! Oh, who is it?”

“It’s Byron.”

“OH! Tell him I said hi and he needs to visit soon or something!”

I laughed. “Did you hear her Byron?”

“Yes, I did. Tell Liv I said hi.”

“He says ‘hi” Liv.”

“Okay, well I’ll let you talk to him.” She said and exited the room.

“Okay, Miss Nosey left the room.” I said and I received a chuckle from my brother, “I miss you so much big brother. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.”

“I know Zo. I miss you a lot. I think I’ll try to find some time to come down and visit, okay? I can’t stand that it’s been so long.”

“Okay, well I think I’m gonna call Ken now. I love you.”

“I love you too Zoe. Bye.” I heard him say and then I hung up. I sat for a minute and thought about how much I actually did miss Byron. I hadn’t seen him since Christmas two years ago, and that was far too long for me to be separated from him.

I sighed and then punched in the familiar number that belonged to my other brother.

“Zoe? Is anything wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong you worry-wart.” I chuckled, “But how’s John?”

“Fine. He wishes he was with you, but I think he’ll survive. At least you’re talking to him. What? No, just go away.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“John’s bugging me.” He said. I giggled.

“Hand him the phone Kenny, please?” I pleaded.

“Fine, here.” He said giving up.

“Babe, I miss you so much and I love you.”

“I love you too and I wish you could be here or that I could be there. I can’t wait to see you again. And I expect to get a copy of the CD before anyone else.”

I heard his laugh that I missed so much. “Of course Zoe, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Only you would be able to hear it before any other fan because who’s our number one fan?”

“Me!” I said while smiling. All of this just made me realize how much I actually missed him.

“Okay, well Kennedy wants the phone back. I love you Zoe.”

“I love you too John. Bye.”

“Ugh, sometimes you two are just too cute together. It’s kind of sickening.” Kennedy teased.

“Take a look in the mirror, bro. You and Morgan are sickeningly sweet also.”

“Whatever…” he mumbled.

“I’m getting kind of tired. I think I’ll take a nap. So I’m going to go. I love you Ken. Oh, and Byron told me about the phone calls.”

“I told him not to tell you! Damn Byron.”

I laughed. “Hey, you need to vent too. Okay, well I’m gonna go.”

“Love you sis.”

“Back at your bro, bye.” I said and ended the call. I laid my Blackberry back on the dresser and then cuddled up into my sheets.

---

John

“We like to party! We like, we like to party!” I chanted along with Jared, Kennedy, Pat, Garrett, and Morgan. I smiled at how happy Kennedy and Morgan were - but I couldn’t help the underlying feeling of jealousy.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Jared said while Garrett started walking out on to the stage with his bass. I jogged out with a smile perched on my face and walked straight to my mic.

“Hey everyone! We’re in a band called The Maine, in case you didn’t know.” I said and the response was amazing. Everyone screamed and I could hear shouts of ‘I love you _____!’

“Well, we’re gonna start this off with a song we haven’t really played a lot. It’s called ‘Daisy’!” I heard the deafening response and smiled as the guys started playing. After two more songs, I looked over to the side and saw LB trying to get my attention. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

“What?” I mouthed. He was mouthing something but I couldn’t tell. He quickly ran away and came back with a Sharpie and a piece of paper. He scribbled something down and then held it up to show me.

It’s Zoe! it said. I immediately threw my microphone down and ran off the stage. As soon as I started grabbing only the necessary items I would need, I heard more footsteps, and I knew Kennedy had seen the sign too.

“Let’s go!” I said and we both ran out to a taxi that LB had gotten us.

As soon as we were settled in, we looked at each other with looks of pure shock, horror, and most of all - worry. We both knew that losing Zoe would be catastrophic at this point.

We couldn’t lose her, not yet at least.