Losing Touch

I woke up the next morning and I immediately got the chills. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and just laid there through it. It was the only thing I could do; nothing else would make the constant chills go away.

Once they finally started to subside, I actually looked around the room. It was completely empty, minus me and all of the medical equipment. I sighed and decided to get up. I grabbed the IV stand and walked into the bathroom and quickly did my business.

Then I walked into the hallway where you could see various other cancer patients roaming around, along with doctors and nurses, and random visitors. I walked around my hand tightly gripping the back of my lovely hospital gown to keep from people seeing things. I wandered around aimlessly for a little bit, and then returned to my room.

When I walked back in, it was still empty. I felt a bit disappointed that no one was here to keep me company. So I lay back down on my, oh so comfortable hospital bed and closed my eyes for a little bit.

Not too soon after I closed them, I heard someone clearing their throat. So I opened my eyes to find John standing in the doorway. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

I smiled. “John.” I said my voice a bit hoarse from not talking in hours.

He smiled weakly as he remained in the doorway of my room. I could tell he felt really awkward and didn’t like seeing me like this. “Hey Zoe. How you feeling?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I’m fine. I’ve been through this before, so…” I shrugged.

He finally stepped into the room as I felt the chills starting to come back. So I quickly pulled up my blankets again as I started to shake. I looked over at John who now had wide eyes and seemed helpless. He obviously didn’t know what to do. I chuckled a bit.

“Zoe, what’s wrong?” he asked frantically and in a little bit of shock.

“Nothing, just the chills. They fucking suck.” I said as he came and sat next to me, and I smiled.

He lay down next to me and then wrapped his long arms around my body. “Does this help?” I nodded; his body heat was helping immensely. Not too long after I stopped shaking and John sat back up and smiled down at me.

“It’s nice to see you again John.” I said honestly. I was glad that he wasn’t mad at me for being such an idiot and pushing him away. He leaned and down and quickly gave me a soft peck on the lips.

“I missed you Zoe Marie O’Callaghan.” He said completely genuine. I smiled, even showing my teeth.

“I missed you too John Cornelius O’Callaghan the fifth.” I said and he smiled as well.

“Awh!”

“Fucking finally!”

I heard Liv and Kenny from the doorway. I rolled my eyes as I looked over and saw them both with Morgan in the middle holding Kennedy’s hand. Kennedy quickly let go and ran over to give him a hug. He gave one that was utterly pathetic.

“Ken, just because I’m going through chemo,” I saw John cringe, “and everything doesn’t mean you have to treat me like a fucking China doll.”

“Sorry, I’m just afraid I’m gonna hurt you baby sis.”

“Party man, coming through!” I heard suddenly from the door and I laughed.

“Halvo!” I said and opened my arms for a big hug. Halvo’s hug was also delicate, but not as much as my brother’s. “I missed you!”

“Missed you too Zoe.” He said with a smile, trying to make the best of the situation.

For the next hour and a half, all of us just talked and caught up with each other. Especially considering that I had basically cut myself away from everybody.

“The other guys would’ve come, but they wanted to see their families. But here, we are with our family.” John said smiling at me. It made me blush.

Then I heard two knocks on the door, then Dr. Schmitt walked in. “Well, hello Zoe, Olivia, other guests.” He said with a smile.

“Dr. Schmitt, this is Kennedy, my big brother, Morgan, his girlfriend, Eric, my best friend, and John, my husband.” I said while keeping my hand intertwined with John’s.

I saw Dr. Schmitt smirk. “So you finally told him, huh?” he said and Liv and I laughed.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m just here to tell you about the results of the tests you took yesterday. So that means everyone needs to clear out, sorry.”

“Can John stay?”

“Of course.” He said as everyone started filing out. As soon as Kennedy walked out, Dr. Schmitt closed the door.

“Well, good news. There’s just one larger tumor that can be removed in surgery and then, after this chemo session, should be basically nonexistent. But, there’s also bad news. At this point, the chemo could start to kill you. So with this all together, your chemo will end a day early and you will get a two and a half month break after that.” He said.

I was in shock. “Really?” John asked.

“Yes.” He said as he started to walk towards the door, “I’ll be checking up on you throughout the day. Oh, and nice to finally meet you John.” Dr. Schmitt said and walked out.

I looked over at John. He was sitting in shock now too. Then, everyone walked back in as I threw my arms around John in happiness. I squealed because then I could spend time with him again.

“Whoa, what happened?” Eric asked after everyone sauntered back into the room. John and I just kept hugging in excitement for several seconds longer.

“Okay, seriously guys?” Morgan asked and then we finally broke apart and laughed.

“Sorry.” I said meekly and blushed a little from embarrassment.

“So, what’d the doctor say?” Kennedy asked a bit tautly.

I looked over at John, knowing that my voice would fail if I told them. He nodded his head at me understanding. “He said that most of her tumors are almost nonexistent. And there’s only one larger tumor they could remove in surgery. But after this, she gets a break from chemo.” John said for me.

Instantaneously, everyone had a wide grin on their faces and they were happy that I could be a bit normal for a while. I just squeezed John’s hand as I felt his wedding ring.

I smiled and thought “Well, I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.”