Make This Perfect Again

I was standing at my kitchen sink,a cold January - near Februrary- evening, cleaning the dishes I had dirtied earlier in the day. I had my phone's headset stuck in my ear, and I was talking to Keith. "So, you getting excited for this move?" Keith asked as I droppped another piece of silverware in my rinsing sink.

"Actually, I am. I mean, I get to be around all of my old friends, and the feeling is just good." I said, putting a plate in the drying rack.

"Josh is pretty excited that you're moving."Keith said. I stopped washing the plate I had in my hand.

"R-really?" I was still in complete shock that Josh may, or may not, still have feelings for me, and I was also still flustered that everyone kept saying so.

"Yes, really! Why do you not think that he would?" Keith asked.

"Oh, I don't know..." I stopped when I thought I heard a knock at the door. When nothing else sounded, I went back to talking to Keith. I turned around fully when I heard another knock. "Hey, Keith,can you hang on for a second?" I asked. I heard him mutter a small reply. I took the headset out of my ear and placed it down on the counter. I dried off my hands and walked over to the door. There was another loud knock. "Alright, alright! I'm coming!" I yanked open the door to the January evening, to find...

"John? What in Gods right name are you doing here?" I asked, rather confused. John pushed his way past me, and I closed the door.

"You're moving to Vancouver?" John inquired in a near menacing tone. I bewildered that he knew.

"How...did you know that?" I asked him.

"Never mind that. Why did you not tell me?" John demanded.

"I don't think I NEED to tell you John. We've been broken up since September, so I assumed that my personal life didn't involve you anymore." I said, trying to sound calm. John just kind of chuckled, which confused me even more.

"Technically..." John started, but I knew exactly where he was going with it.

"Oh, don't give me that technical bullshit. You know that we broke up. You just don't want to accept it." I said bitterly. Then, I noticed, John looked hurt.

"You know, after every thing we went through Josline...I thought you'd be a little more considerate." John said. And to be honest, I didn't know what to say. "After dealing with me cheating on you, and then you losing the..."

"DON'T bring up the baby." I said sourly. I had lied to Mariah when I told her I had only ever slept with Josh. Truth is, I had slept with John too.And I did get pregnant, but I ended up having a miscarriage due to falling off a stage during a sound check. I had never told anyone about it, so it was only something me and John had kept secret.

"Well, you know, if you weren't so clumsy..." John muttered.

"Wait, are you blaming ME for what happened?" I said, slightly outraged. "It was not my fault John. You know better than to accuse me of something like that." John looked at me, straight in the eyes. He walked up to me and placed both of his hands around my arms. He had large hands, and I had small arms, so he was able to wrap both hands fully around them. What he did next, I wouldn't of expected in a million years.

He kissed me. And I did not like it. But I couldn't get away from him, no matter what I did, because he was just too strong for me. I struggled to get out of his grip, which was useless. And then I could feel myself being pushed towards something, then my back connected with a wall. I turned my face away from John, trying anything to stop him. I had the upperhand when one of his hands let go of my arm (my right arm, the good punching arm). His hand was starting to slide underneath my shirt, and that's when I took my chance.

I didn't have much room, but I let my fist fly, and there was only the loud, sickening smack of skin hitting skin. I felt my hand connect with his jaw. John proceeded to let go of my other arm, and he held his jaw. I noticed I had gotten his nose aswell, because it was starting to bleed. I just glared him down, breathing heavily. "John...you should just leave." I said, rather breathless.

"Josline..." John started. My arm raised, and I was pointing to the door.

"Go. Now!" I nearly screamed it at him. He looked stunned that I could yell that loud. He looked at the door, then back at me. And I swear, if I could kill by looking at someone, John would be dead. John walked out the door, not even looking back. I slammed the door behind him, and then I locked it. I stood there, shaking with anger. Then I remembered...I was still on the phone with Keith...had he heard everything?

I ran over to the earpiece on the counter and stuck it back in my ear. There was only a dial tone. I pressed the 'end' button and threw it back on the counter. All I could think of doing was cry. The tears started to stream down my face. I walked over to my couch and layed down, curling into a little ball. I slowly ended up crying myself to sleep.

Why did it feel like life wasn't going to get any easier from here on out?