Stop Pretending. I Know You Really Love Me.

One week of ISS passed by quickly. I stayed home watching reruns of Fresh Prince of Bellaire. Before I knew it, it was Friday. Jay told me that Payton was coming over for a movie night. I wasn’t sure if I was going to watch a movie with them. I probably won’t. I mean who knows what they’ll do during the movie. They are boyfriend and girlfriend now.

Anyways I was in the kitchen getting some snacks to take up to my room when the doorbell rang. I ran to answer it since I hadn’t seen Payton all week. I opened the door to see Summer and Taylor.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Summer with a blank face.

“Haze I am sooooo sorry. It was stupid of me to not tell you. I mean you’re my best friend and I chose to keep a secret from you that I had no right in keeping. Please please please please forgive me!” She pouted.

“Why’d you do it? This was a huge secret and you didn’t tell me! I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak if I had known!” I shouted frustrated.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just Phoenix told me that he really did love you but he didn’t want Jay to know because Jay would be pissed that his best friend really does like his little sister. If I had told you, you would have been pissed at Jay and not even give Phoenix a chance. But I know I shouldn’t have tried to play matchmaker. If I could I would go back and tell you as soon as I found out because it’s not worth giving up our friendship. I am really sorry.” She said in one quick breath. I stared at her for awhile letting her words sink in. Slowly I started to smile.

“Fine. I forgive you.” I smiled rolling my eyes.

“Yea!” She gave me a hug.

“You don’t know how lonely I have been with out my best friend!” She said.

“I know. I was so bored without having someone to talk to.” I said hugging her back.

“So you guys are friends again right?” Taylor asked.

“Yea.” I smiled at him, pulling away from Summer.

“Good! I don’t think I can take another minute of Summer complaining about how much she misses you.” He sighed.

“Hey guys.” Payton said walking up to the door.

“Hey Payton.” I smiled at her.

“Good everyone’s here! Lets start the movie!” Jay yelled as he saw everyone in the doorway. We walked to the front room. I put in The Ugly Truth and sat back to watch it.

Peyton and Jay were cuddled up on the couch and Summer was sitting on Taylor’s lap. I sat on the floor trying to pay attention to the movie. I kept thinking about the last movie night we had. Somehow I ended up falling asleep on the floor with Phoenix’s arms around me.

We watched a couple more movies. During the third movie, everyone started falling asleep, except for me. When everyone else was asleep, I got up and shut the TV off. I went upstairs to my room. When I got there, I saw Phoenix laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Phoenix what are you doing here?” I sighed. He looked at me and sat up.

“I wanted to talk.” He said.

“I’ve told you, there’s nothing to talk about. Just get out.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t let you go out with someone like Brent. Not again.”

“You can’t let me?” I asked raising an eyebrow.

“That’s not how I meant it. I mean, I can’t just sit and watch you date Brent again.”

“Then don’t.” I said.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I can’t do it.” He said getting up from my bed. He walked towards me. I backed away trying to get as far away from him as possible. You would think I would have learned from the first time, but noooo. I backed my self against the wall, as he got closer to me.

“You really should go.” I whispered. He put his hands on the wall beside my head. It reminded me of the time when we were in the kitchen alone and he did the same thing. He just wanted to delete a video from my phone at the time. I wonder why he’s doing it now?

“You don’t really want me to go, do you?” He asked. His eyes traveled to my lips before going back up to my eyes. I had to fight to keep my eyes from doing the same.

“Y-yes.” I stuttered, reminding myself about the deal he made with Jay.

“Really?” He asked bringing his head closer to mine. Our lips were so close I could feel his breath on my lips.

“Y-ye-no.” I said closing my eyes, just before he kissed me. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. It felt so good kissing him again. Fireworks were going off in my head and the butterflies I got when we kissed, were back. It was so full of passion and… love. Then I remembered that he really didn’t love me. He didn’t like me at all. It took all my strength, but I pushed him away from me.

“No. Just go away.” I said not looking at him.

“Hazel-”

“When Monday comes, I’m going back to school. I’m going to tell Brent how I feel about him and hopefully he will go out with me again. I don’t want you around me anymore. No more talking to me, no more walking with me to class, especially no more kissing me. I’m sorry Phoenix, I just don’t feel nothing for you anymore.” I said. When I finished talking, I looked in his eyes and saw hurt. I blinked and looked away again.

“You really don’t love me anymore?” He asked.

“I don’t think I ever had.” I lied.

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone.” He said. He walked over to my window and stopped, like he expected me to say something. But I couldn’t. He sighed before opening the window and climbing back down the tree. As soon as he was gone a huge sob left my throat. I ran to the window crying as I shut it and locked it. I laid down on my bed crying. I could smell his cologne on my pillows that he was laying on a couple minutes ago. I can’t believe I did that. I let him go. It took everything in me to not stop him.

I cried for a few more minutes before hearing a knock on my door. I forced myself to stop crying and clear my throat.

“Come in.” I said sitting up and wiping the tears away from my eyes. Summer walked in.

“Are you ok?” She asked sitting on my bed.

“Yea. Why?”

“I heard you talking to someone up here and then I heard you crying.” She said.

“Really, I’m fine.” I assured her.

“Hazel we are best friends. I think I know when you’re lying.” She said.

“Fine. Phoenix snuck into my room. He keeps trying to talk to me but I don’t want to listen to him. He tells me that he loves me but I just don’t buy it. What should I do?” I asked.

“As your best friend, I’d say get over him and find a different guy, one that actually likes you and wont go out with you because Jay asked him to.” She said.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking.” I sighed.

“However, as an innocent bystander, I’d say take him back. He obviously really loves you if he keeps trying to get you back. He got beat up by Brent for God’s sake and he’s still not giving up! I think that’s saying a lot!” She said.

“I don’t know. I mean how do I know Jay didn’t put him up to it?”

“Even if Jay did put him up to it, he really does love you. I can see it when he looks at you. It’s the same way I look at Taylor.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt again.”

“Do you think Brent’s not going to hurt you?”

“He probably will. But it won’t be as bad if Phoenix hurt me. When I caught Brent cheating on me, I was hurt yea, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care that he cheated on me with a slut. But with Phoenix, it’s different. Really different. Everything I do reminds me of him. Even movie night reminded me of him! And thinking of him breaks my heart all over again.” I sighed.

“That’s it.” She said.

“What?” I asked.

“You need someone else. But it’s not going to be Brent. I will not allow it. There’s a party tomorrow and we are defiantly going.” She said.

“I don’t think I’m up for a party.”

“Too bad. We are going and that’s final. Now get some sleep. I’m going back down stairs.” She left my room. I sighed and laid back on my bed. Maybe a party would be good. Soon I was asleep dreaming of Phoenix.