Stop Pretending. I Know You Really Love Me.

I got home and went up to my room. I laid on my bed and cried. Today has been the worst day of my life. My brother is an overprotective freak, my best friend kept something important from me, Misty and Phoenix are getting back together, and I got suspended until Monday.

But what hurt me the most was that Phoenix lied to me. He told me that he loved me and I let myself believe him. I trusted him and he does this. And the weird thing is, I wish I didn’t know. I wish I didn’t know about the deal he made with Jay. I wish that I didn’t come down the stairs this morning and heard them talking. I wish we were going back out and he was continuing to lie to me. Because not knowing is way better than knowing.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know I’m waking up to a door slamming. My throat was dry from crying so much. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and saw Jay sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walked right past him to the kitchen. I got a glass of water and drank it in three gulps. My throat was still dry. I was filling up another glass of water when Jay came in the kitchen.

“Can we talk?” He asked. I looked at him as I slowly drank my water.

“I just want to say that I’m sorry. What I did was way over the top. I should have trusted you to be able to pick the right guy. But you’re my little sister. I can’t stand seeing you get hurt. And don’t say that you can take care of yourself because I know you can. But I know how high school boys are. All they want is one thing and one thing only. Well most of them are like that. Anyways, I’m sorry.” He continued. I stared at him for a while longer.

“Haze?” He asked after I didn’t say anything.

“Out of all the stupid things that you have done to protect me, this is defiantly the stupidest. I mean all you did was set me up for more heartbreak. What did you think was going to happen after Phoenix broke up with me and went to college? Did you think that I’d be fine and happy about it?” I asked.

“I really didn’t get that far. I just wanted you to be happy and not heartbroken.” He said looking at the floor.

“Well maybe you should have thought it out more, because right now I am not happy. I am sad and angry and confused and I am defiantly heartbroken. You lied to me Jay. And you made Phoenix lie to me. No matter how much we used to hate each other, we never lied to each other. Whether we were being serious, funny, sarcastic, or rude we never lied. But you made him lie to me. And the worse part is, I actually loved him. But to him it was just a deal for his best friend.”

“You loved him?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes Jay. I actually loved him. I have always loved him and when we were going out I thought that he loved me too. But he doesn’t and he never did.” I blinked back some tears that were threatening to fall.

“I am so sorry Haze.” He wrapped his arms around me hugging me.

“I know you are Jay.” I said hugging him back.

“Please forgive me.”

“Jay you are my brother and no matter how much of an overprotective freak you are I can never stay mad at you for long.” I sighed. The doorbell rang then.

“Can you get that? I have to call Peyton.” He said.

“Your girlfriend?” I asked teasingly.

“Your girlfriend? Get the door.” He mimicked me.

“Fine.” I smiled. I walked to the door and opened it. I gasped. Phoenix was standing in my doorway with a black eye, a busted lip, and a cut above his eyebrow.

“What the hell happened to you?” I wondered out loud.

“Brent. Can I come in?” He asked. Before I knew what I was doing I stepped aside to let him inside.

“Brent did this?” I asked as he sat on the couch. I got a washcloth and cleaned up his cut.

“Yea. Stupid psycho. He fucking jumped me when I was walking here. He started punching me and yelling at me because I broke your heart.” He mumbled. As soon as he said that I stopped cleaning his cut and looked at him. I had forgotten about that. I guess I was too shock by his appearance to remember.

“Good. Why are you here?” I asked as I started cleaning his cut again.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He said looking at me with that hypnotic gaze of his. I knew better this time though.

“Well I don’t want to talk. So leave.” I said as I finished cleaning the cut.

“Hazel, please just listen to me.” He begged.

“So you can lie to me again? I don’t think so.” I shook my head.

“Hazel I’m not lying. I really do love you.” He said.

“Stop it.” I closed my eyes and put my hands over my ears.

“I can’t stop. I love you Hazel.” He put his hand on my arm. I shrugged it away.

“Leave me alone Phoenix. Please.” I begged.

“Why? Give me one reason why I should leave you alone and not keep trying to win you over.” He said.

“Because I don’t love you anymore!” I blurted out. I opened my eyes and looked at his shocked face.

“What?” He asked his voice filled with hurt.

“I don’t love you. Not anymore. I like someone else.” I lied.

“You like someone else?” He asked. I nodded my head slowly.

“Who?”

“Brent.” I said the first name that came to my mind.

“Brent? As in the Brent that you went out with and he cheated on you?” He asked incredulously.

“He said that he really loves me and that I’m different from the other girls he dated.” Even though he did say that I knew it was a lie. But I don’t care as long as it gets Phoenix to leave me alone.

“Oh is that what he said? Hazel a guy doesn’t cheat on a girl and suddenly love her after she catches him. It’s a lie.” Phoenix said getting mad.

“He may not really love me but at least he actually likes me and isn’t just doing a deal for his brother.” I glared at him.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I really do love you?!” He yelled.

“What is with all the yelling?!” Jay yelled walking down the stairs. He stopped when he saw Phoenix.

“What are you doing here?” Jay asked Phoenix.

“He was just leaving.” I said standing up. Phoenix looked like he wanted to say something but stood up instead.

“Yea. I was just leaving.” He whispered. He wrapped his arm around me, hugging me. I hesitantly hugged him back.

“I’m not giving up.” He whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes biting my lip.

“Then you’re going to be fighting for me forever.” I whispered back. He took a step back from me and nodded his head.

“Bye Phoenix.” I said.

“Bye.” He said before turning around and walking out of the house. As soon as he left a tear fell from my eye.

“You are extremely stupid.” Jay said.

“I know.” I whispered still looking at the door.