And I'll Sculpt My Life For Your Acceptance

Billie Joe’s P.O.V.

Its Monday today which means it’s been three days since I’ve seen Karmony and it’s driving me nuts that she hasn’t been at work. I thought, well I think that she has quit. I know for a fact that she was supposed to be working, she told me that she was working every day except Sunday’s and she was gone for the two biggest nights of the week. I tried asking Casey but that guy really doesn’t like me anymore, and he wouldn’t tell me anything. I tried asking Tony too but he said that it was a personal thing.

I’ve made a deal with Tre that if she isn’t here tonight, we are going to her place. I would have gone by myself but what am I going to say? It will save us both the awkwardness by having Tre there.

We were practicing in Tre’s garage at the moment, or we were until we gave up because I wasn’t really all there.

“Beej, maybe she’s sick?” Mike suggested; I hadn’t even realized that we were talking about her.

I looked up from my beer and towards my best friends face. I could tell that he was sick of me acting this way but I have never felt this way about a girl before, not even Adrienne and I honestly thought I would marry her. With Karmony it was like there was an invisible magnet pulling us together and I knew that she could feel it too but for some unknown reason she was trying to fight it.

“Maybe.” I replied to what Mike had said with a short answer before sculling the rest of my beer and standing up. “You ready? I want to have a shower and shit before we go to Gilman’s.”

“You mean ‘before you see Karmony’.” Tre mocked. I was tempted to throw my beer bottle at him but didn’t because he would know that he was getting to me so I decided to ignore him and his comments.

“Goodbye Tre, we’ll pick you up at, say 6?” Mike said as I was already leaving the room and heading through the house towards the front door. I didn’t hear what Tre said but I’m guessing it was something stupid since Mike walked out of the house shaking his head. “Dude, forget about Tre, he’s just doing it to annoy you and he can see that it is so he’s going to continue.” Mike said as he unlocked the car and we both climbed in.

I just nodded and turned my head to stare out the window. I was like a fuckin’ baby! I don’t know why I’m acting this way; she’s just a girl and she isn’t going to give in to her feelings anytime soon so I might just give up. That actually sounds a lot like the rest of my life; every time something gets tough I give up, well not this time, this time I’m going to keep at this until she gives in. Let’s hope she isn’t as stubborn as she is acting.

We pulled up to our apartment a few minutes later. I looked at the plain building that I called my home, I don’t know how I ended up living in a shit hole like this; it was disgusting.

Our apartment looked a bit better than the outside; at least we tried to make it look decent. We painted the walls a cream colour which made it look a bit better but that was about all we could do. We didn’t have the money to do much else.

When we got in, I went straight to the bathroom. I needed to smell a little bit nicer if I was going to see Karmony again. I smelt like sweat mixed with pot at the moment and it was not a good mix. Once I was finished in the shower I searched my room for some clean clothes, I gave up after searching the whole room and just decided on the cleanest stuff I could find.

When I looked at the time, it was 5:30. I walked out the room and seen Mike in the kitchen eating something. “Is there any of that for me?” I asked looking at his food. As if on cue my stomach growled loudly.

“Yeah, it’s in the microwave.” He said with a mouthful of food. I walked across the small room and opened the microwave to reveal my food. I could tell what it was but it smelt good so I didn’t care. I shoveled it into my mouth and before I knew it the clock had passed 6 o’clock. “You finished?”

I nodded and grabbed a jacket from the counter, it was there from last night; I just threw it there on my quest to find food.

We grabbed Tre on the way to Gilman’s. The car park was virtually empty when we got there, which was good because it meant there wasn’t many people here and if she was here it would give me time to talk to her. I glanced around at the few cars as we made our way to the doors and I knew that she wouldn’t be here, her car was nowhere to be seen.

We were let in by Casey who smirked when he seen me, I glared back at him. He knew why I was here and seeing that smirk confirmed that she wasn’t here. Just to make sure we went to the bar, only to see Tony.

“Hey boys.” He greeted when he seen us. “You’re here early.”

“Beej, wanted to see if K-” I smacked Tre in the chest but it was too late because Tony already knew why we were here.

“Sorry Billie, she’s not here again.” He said sympathetically. I stayed silent as my friends ordered us a beer, I would stay for two beers tops before I left to go to her apartment. “I actually needed to talk to you boy,” Tony said suddenly like he’d just remembered that he had to talk to us. “We have a spot open for Friday night, you in?”

Mike and Tre both looked at me, I nodded. “Yeah. Definitely.” I told him eagerly. We needed all the shows we could get at the moment.

“Good, well you know the drill.” We all nodded and he left to serve the group of people who just walked in.

We stayed silent for a while until a girl around our age approached us. “You’re Green Day, right?” she asked, glancing at each of us.

“We are.” Tre confirmed, practically drooling over the girl.

“Wow, can I have your autographs? My friend and I see you everywhere you play!”

“Well then wouldn’t you have seen us after at least one of the shows?” Mike asked, a bitter tone coming out in the question.

The girl didn’t seem to notice. “Well, no. We always have to leave early because my friend doesn’t like being in bars. But if we had have met you, trust me, you wouldn’t forget.” She said throwing a wink in my direction.

I just smiled at her, before grabbing a napkin from the other side of the bar for us to sign. She handed me a pen before asking Tre some stupid question to which he just laughed. I finished signing the napkin and passed it to Mike. The girl watched us while each of us signed it.

“I’ll stick around after the next show and we could get to know each other.” She said, glancing at me.

“Yeah that would be awesome.” I said, trying to make it obvious that I wasn’t interested. I hope she picked up on it.

It’s not like I thought the girl was ugly or anything, hell she was pretty hot, but I didn’t want any other girl except Karmony.

The girl gave us each one more smile before walking away, she swung her hips in a way that would sure drive any man crazy but it done nothing for me. I finished my beer quickly and grabbed Tre’s arm.

“We’re going now Mike.” I said dragging Tre towards the door. We were dropping Mike off at work before we went to her apartment.

The drive to Mikes work was in the opposite direction to her apartment and it was driving me insane how long it was taking. When we finally pulled up at her apartment complex I almost ran to her door. But I controlled myself and walked at Tre’s pace.

“Now, we came because you missed her, got it?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes. “Why can’t you have missed her? It is going to make me seem weird!” he whined.

“She already thinks you’re weird and she still likes you. She thinks I’m an obsessed jerk.” I muttered the last bit.

“Whatever.”

“Trevor.” I said, earning me a weird look from Tre.

“What?”

“Nothin’ don’t worry.” I told him to avoid the conversation. As we rounded the corner to where her door was we seen a guy banging on the door, his head was hidden between his arms as it laid against the hard wood.

“Come on, Kar! Open the fucking door.” He yelled through the wood. I couldn’t hear what she said back but he pounded his fist on the door again and let out a loud groan. “I hate you sometimes even if I try my hardest to love you.”

I looked over at Tre who was already looking at me. “Don’t worry, lets go.” I told his as I turned around and walked back towards the stairs.

“Beej! We came all this way and you’re leaving without seeing her?”

“Couldn’t you see that she had company?” I snapped and kept walking. He sighed and followed me.

If she had a boyfriend she could have just told me. Now I feel like a dick and I’m going to get a pounding when I meet this guy. She has to have told him about me bugging her about that date.

I let Tre drive since I would most likely wrap us around a tree on purpose.

When we got back to the apartment I went straight to my room. I grabbed a pen, my notebook and my guitar and sat down with my back against my bed as I started to write what was going through my head.

I don’t know you
But I think I hate you
You’re the reason for my misery
Strange how you’ve became my biggest enemy
And I’ve never even seen your face.