I can't help it, I was born this way.

“Chase Matthews! I cannot believe you! You are such a man whore!!” A shrill voice screamed at me from the other side of the steak house I had brought Alyse to. I turned around to see Anna standing at the door with a group of girls who looked familiar. I looked at Anna in surprise and then quickly turned and pretended not to hear and looked at Alyse.

She was beautiful tonight; she was wearing a black cocktail dress that was backless and sexy. Most girls wouldn’t be able to pull it off, but she wore it beautifully.
I smiled at her and said “please just ignore them.”

She looked at them a little worried, but she went back to eating. I sighed in relief when no one called my name again. I took another bite and chewed my steak deliberately, counting each bite. 1…2…3…4. Soon a tap on my shoulder interrupted my count. Anna, and one of her followers stood next to her. I couldn’t remember her name, Shelly, Shelby, Sally, something along those lines. She was one of Anna’s groupies, that is all I could remember.

I smiled a friendly smile and said “well hello Anna, fancy meeting you here!” She smiled a sarcastic grin and said “as if! I can’t believe you are here, with that thing!” She cast a glare at Alyse who in return scowled. “Last time I checked, she is not a thing, she has the ability to have a child, just as you do. So therefore she is a woman, unlike you, you are only a girl.”

I waited for her response and was surprised to feel her palm connect with my cheek. I stood quickly, and said “how dare you touch me! You do not realize what I am capable of, now fuck off, before I do something I regret!”

She looked at me in shock, I had never talked to her in that way. I had never shown any hint of violence, to her or any other person at the school, hell I barely talked at school. Her eyes became glassy and I shook my head “Don’t cry, please don’t I don’t want to deal with this right now. Please just go.” She shook her head and said “No, I won’t just go! You act like you like me, I thought we were something! But no, I am just another whore to add to the list.” She turned her attention to Alyse and said “honey, I suggest getting out now, don’t let this jerk play you like he played me.
You could do so much better.”

I felt my eyes grow and then looked at Anna and said “bitch, please, as if I played you, you were always my little sex toy, I never had any feelings for you! Now please leave me alone and let me eat in peace!”

She turned around and stalked away. I turned back to Alyse ready to apologize but she was standing up and grabbing her purse.

“Where are you going?” I asked in surprise.

She looked at me and said “I’m giving you what you asked for.” I looked at her confused. I stood up ready to follow her out, but she pushed me down in my seat and said “No, stay here, finish your steak.” With that, she marched out of the restaurant in a way only she could.

I sat there trying not to look to lame; some different visitors in the restaurant were staring at me. I looked down and pushed my plate away in disgust. I pulled my wallet out and threw a couple bills on the table and quickly exited the restaurant.

Why did you leave? I asked Alyse silently. I hoped she would answer, but wasn’t completely sure if she would. I began the walk home, not wanting to pop home, my parents weren’t exactly aware that I wasn’t home. They often ignored me so it was easy to slip away, unnoticed.

So I walked along the sidewalk, in the dark night. Silence surrounded me, and I began to feel lonely.

You wanted to eat in peace, so I left you in peace. Alyse’s voice rang in my head. I decided not to answer knowing I would react badly.

I continued the long walk in silence. Soon the darkness became overwhelming. The dim streetlights lit very little. The street was empty of all cars. The only sound was a distant hum of cars on a nearby highway. I sighed heavily, hoping to break the silence. I shuddered from the noise I made. I looked around cautiously, and then thought to myself, I wish I wasn’t alone. My feet padded down the sidewalk quietly and I began to stomp in hopes of making more noise.

I felt a tear slowly slide down my cheek, and I smiled silently. Tears only came when I was truly upset. I didn’t want to be alone, yet I wanted peace. My world is crazy and hectic. Yet I can’t seem to figure out exactly what I want.