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Life the four simple letters that create one huge thing. I was scared, for my life. If I was to lose that four letter word we all hold dear, I don’t know what would happen. I have this feeling that I won’t be losing my life easily. I have this feeling that I have people who wouldn’t let me die.

Death, five letter word that is the end of us all at one point or another. It’s the foundation of salvation and creation, everything based on the fact we’re all going to die. I have this feeling that I won’t be dying as soon as I originally thought. I have this feeling I have a person who would do anything for me to live.

…

I held the rose in my fingers staring at my finger as the blood dripped from the prick it made when I harshly grabbed on to it. I looked at it as if it was going to give me my answers. Emily had gone out to find the boys, she didn’t want to leave me alone so she called Collin over and he sat downstairs watching sports or whatever.

It had been ten minutes, and no one was here yet. Who could get in my room without being noticed? Who would help that sick bastard? How did he know I was here, with his son?
I wanted to throw the rose away, but I couldn’t. I was sitting on the love seat on the opposite side of my room. I didn’t want to be anywhere close to my bed. Even the paper had his scent on it. I could smell the cigarettes and boozes oozing from the ink. I looked out at the horizon, up at the peaceful clouds.

“I miss you mom. I wish you were here. But I know you can’t I love you mom.” I whispered, watching, knowing she could hear me, no matter how far she was.

I heard the faint sound of a car door shutting and heavy footsteps barreling in my direction.

“Em?” Five different voices yelled from my doorway.

I stayed where I was, my knees on my chest, my left hand on the rose still bleeding; my right hand pulled my knees in as close as possible. I could feel the tension in the room, I knew they smelt the blood and started to panic.

“Emmry? What’s wrong??” Sam ran over and kneeled next to me. He looked down at the rose intertwined with my fingers and gently took it away tossing it on the floor.

“He found me, he knows I’m here.” I sighed still staring out at the clouds.

“How...”
I interrupted him “Letter, he wrote me a letter and gave me a rose, a yellow rose, my favorite.”

“We’re going to protect you I promise, he will never hurt you.”

“I need to leave.”

“No!” A voice roared.

I knew it was Paul, he just didn’t understand.

“I have to,”

“Emmry you are not leaving.” Sam grumbled while still in front of me.

“Sam.” I whispered knowing defeat was in my future.

“Where’s Paul, I need Paul.” I whined desperately.

“Em… He well he’s…” Sam broke off; I could hear the separation and unwillingness to tell me where he was.

“He had to phase.” Embry muttered from the doorway.

“I need Paul.” I whispered once again, letting myself dissolve. I gave up my wall and started to sob.

“Where is Paul, I need Paul, find Paul.” I cried, my voice starting to reach a screech.

“I’ll find him.” Seth called as he ran down the stairs. I listened to his footsteps light and quick, unlike Paul’s whose footsteps I could always tell. The way his heel always came down heavier when he was just walking, but when he was determined he moved to the balls of his feet and you could just hear the rhythms sing.

“Emmry.” Sam came closer to me and was about to pick me up but I jumped away and cuddled closer to the corner.

“I really need Paul, I love you Sam but I need Paul.” I could hear my voice crack as I faced Sam. I saw a brief flash of hurt but then it was replaced with understanding. He knew, if I was Emily he would want me near, he would do anything to be near me. But where was my imprint? Where was the one person who was supposed to be here for me no matter what?
He was off being angry, while I was here crying my eyes out. Fantastic.

“Jake?” I asked after I calmed myself down enough.

“Yeah Em?” He answered kneeling next to me.

“Can you sit on my bed?” I asked him, knowing I would sound crazy.

“Yeah I’ll sit on your bed.” He smiled slightly and leaned in. “We love you Em, don’t ever forget that.” He walked over to the bed and gently sat down.

“We’re going to go Seth find Paul.” Embry and Quil stated followed by Sam as they left my room. It was just me and Jake and it was a comfortable silence, well it was until Jake got noisy… okay so he was just trying to be nice and help but still!!!

“What is up with your father Em, I know that it’s hard to talk about but I’m here and I need to help.” I knew he was sincere and truly concerned, but I needed Paul. I had to tell Paul first, I needed to be wrapped in his warmth, feel the love he has for me.

“Paul. Him first then I’ll tell everyone.” I spoke softly, staring out my window. I was looking towards the forest where I knew he would be. Running off the anger he had so he wouldn’t hurt me, his paws stomping into the ground. I began to concentrate so hard it felt like I was a part of him. I felt as if I was there with him, running pushing him, but pulling him at the same time. Helping him run but trying to entrance him to come back to me.

Thirty minutes later I was still sitting in my window. My finger had stopped bleeding; Jake went and got me a Band-Aid, all we had was Dora the Explorer ones because of Claire. It hurt though; my finger throbbed endlessly as I continued to stare into the deep green forest.

An hour after that Jake had gone down stairs and Seth came up to take his place. I heard them talking about “taking turns” till Paul decided to come back. I was really reaching the end of my limit. I mean I know he’s upset and such, but I his imprint needs him and he needs to come back to me.

Ten minutes later I watched a dark silver wolf walk out of the forest, his coat was amazing. The sun was setting so the rays hit off his fur magnificently. I was amazed by this creature, he had my entire attention. I couldn’t stop looking at him, at the way he walked, more like paced around the yard. I couldn’t help myself to have a slight weird attraction to the wolf. He had a pair of jeans tied to his legs, so I knew he was one of the packs just which one I wasn’t quite sure. I stayed watching him as he phased and I realized it was Paul, he had finally come back.

“Paul.” I whispered, his head snapped up at my window and a smile bloomed on my face.

Unfortunately he had an unreadable expression on his face, and I couldn’t understand him. He rushed in the house; I could hear his feet running in time with the beat that I could hear in my head.

When he opened my door, I didn’t move. He had to come to me, and apologize his ass off.

“Em.” He picked me up and sat down where I just was and cuddled me into his lap.

“I am sorry. I should know how to control my anger but I just, I want to kill him Em. He has hurt you and I want to hurt him twice as much.”

I nodded understanding “You didn’t have to leave without a word, you could have said something.”

“I know, I was thinking about you and your safety. I thought if I got away I would be protecting you but it looks like it was more like hurting you. Please forgive me.” He whispered the last part kissing the side of my face, his lips lingering under my ear.

“I already did, but you have to promise me something Paul.” I started, gaining confidence.

“What, anything you want.”

“Don’t leave me ever again.” Tears started to leak from my eyes when he said he would never leave me again, ever.

We stayed there for a few hours, not talking but just silently confirming to each other we did indeed love each other. I knew I had to tell him about my dad but it was too much. I was going to school tomorrow, I had too. I needed to prove I could do this; he wasn’t going to make me run this time. I love it here and I realized no one is going to make me leave. This is my home, my life. Paul is my life.

This town, the pack, everything about this place is what makes me, me.