Does Your Lack of Conscience Tell You Everything's Alright?

"I see you decided to accompany August to practice," I acknowledge Alex's presence.

"Just couldn't get enough of the awesome dance skills I have yet to see," he jokes.

I chuckle.

"I actually wanted to ask you something," he explains.

"What's that?"

"I was wondering if you would like to go out to eat with me tomorrow, if you're not busy of course, like a date. But we don't have to call it a date if you don't want to. I mean, we hardly know each other. I just really wanted to talk to you outside of the dance academy," a boyish smile is on his face.

Why the hell does this happen to me? Why does a guy I think is attractive have to ask me out in these circumstances?

How am I supposed to let him down gently?

"Alex, I'm flattered but I can't," I say.

His smile drops, "Oh. I understand."

He sounds heartbroken.

"It's not that I don't like you," I rush, "My father won't let me date."

That's partially true.

"You don't have to lie to me. I'm a big boy, I can take rejection," he mumbles.

I don't doubt that he's a 'big boy' but that's a discussion for another time and place.

Though I doubt I'll get the chance to find out.

"Alex, I'm not lying to you. My dad really won't let me date."

It hurts me to call that monster my father. Everytime I utter that word, I want to rip my own tongue from my mouth.

"Sure," he stands.

I can't have him thinking I hate him.

I stand and grab his arm before he can move away.

"I do like you," I say, "My dad is just really strict."

His eyes meet mine, searching.

For what though? A shred of honesty?

"Why do you stay there then?" he asks.

I guess he believes me.

"I can't leave my dad home alone. Ever since my mom divorced him, things have been rough."

Liar, liar.

That is a pretty believable lie though.

"Do you think he'd let you go out if I talked to him?"

No, he'd fucking kill me.

"I don't think so," I answer.

"I guess I'll just have to stick to seeing you here," he mumbles.

I don't understand why he's so set on seeing me.

Maybe he's like Jeffery and wants a little girl. But wouldn't he want an actual little girl? Then again, why not find a girl who looks younger but is actually a legal age?

Or maybe he actually likes me.

Is that possible?

I don't believe it is.

"I guess you will," I say, "I should get going."

Jeffery will be pissed if I don't come home soon.

"I'll see you next practice then?" he asks, holding his arms open.

I look at his outstretched arms. For some reason, I don't want to deny him the human contact.

"Definitely," I place myself in his arms, against his strong body.

His arms close around me and hold me close. He feels nothing like Jeffery. He's warm and careful. He doesn't squeeze me tightly to keep me from running. His hands don't wander. He just holds me.

And I like it.

I don't feel the urge to pull away from him or flinch in fear. I feel comfortable.

I rise to the balls of my feet and kiss Alex's chin. He looks down, shock evident on his face.

He must not have been expecting that.

I wasn't either.

"I have to go. See you later," I push out of his hold.

"Next practice," he says.

I nod and leave the room, butterflies rushing though my stomach.