Does Your Lack of Conscience Tell You Everything's Alright?

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

What would Alex and I kissing have to do with his current happiness?

"Alex has liked since he met you. Of course he would be happy to have any physical contact with you."

"I doubt he likes me enough for small amounts of physical contact to matter."

"That's not true. You should have heard him the day that you kissed his chin. He wouldn't shut up. Three years ago, he wouldn't even talk about any of the girls he had slept with, let alone gotten kisses on the chin from."

"Are you sure he wouldn't rather someone with more curves?" I ask.

I've seen his wall. Has she?

"You must be referring to that wall of women. After he met you, he took a lot of them down. I don't know if you've noticed but they're all blonde with blue eyes. You made an impression on Alex and he changed his wall accordingly."

I didn't notice. It's hard to notice much past their bodies.

Balloon boobs are awfully distracting.

"I'm sure he'll take them down when he gets pictures of you," August states.

I shrug. Silence consumes while we go back to eating our ice cream.

"I know this is random but are the police going to give you your stuff back from the crime scene anytime soon?" asks Aaron.

"I don't know. I honestly don't want any of it back."

I don't want anything that reminds me of Jeffery.

I already have his name on my lower back like a tramp stamp.

"That's understandable."

"I did want to go to my parent's grave soon."

And possibly visit Marie's grave.

I've seen it before. Jeffery visited it often and took me with him. It was a reminder that I was better off doing as he said. I could have been six feet under with maggots eating at my corpse.

At night, I silently hoped that the maggots could feel that I had died on the inside and would confuse my internal death with real death. Wouldn't it have been a sight if Jeffery woke to my body half eaten my bugs?

I guess that image is a tad morbid. But no one said I was made up of rainbows and sunshine.

"Did you want to go alone?" Aaron asks.

"I don't want to go anywhere alone."

I don't want to risk being kidnapped again.

"Why don't you ask Alex to go with you? He could meet your parents," he suggests.

"My dead parents."

"It’s the perfect way to further your relationship with him."

"Aaron, I often question your sanity."

"I do too," he says, shaking his head.

"Alex wouldn't mind taking you to your parents' grave," August assures.

"How do you know that?" I ask.

"Because I know my brother."

I guess I shouldn't doubt her. But didn't she run away at some point? For three years? How much could she actually know about her brother?

Unless she paid attention to him and he didn't pay attention to her.

That doesn't make sense though. Alex has been nothing short of attentive to me since I got here. Even before apparently. He's protective of his younger sibling to a high degree. Is it possible for him to ignore his sister?

Maybe I should ask.

Or maybe I should stop being so curious.

It'll get me in some form of trouble again.