Does Your Lack of Conscience Tell You Everything's Alright?

I sit on the couch, watching some horror movie. There are no lights on in the room; outside, the sun does not illuminate the land. It's close to 9:00PM; Jack and Alex aren't back yet. Aaron is next to me, August is on the other side of him. Aaron clutches a pillow to his chest, knees curled underneath him. On the screen, a Japanese girl with ridiculously large eyes pops out of nowhere; Aaron screams.

I really don't see what's so scary.

Horror movies play the audiences fear of death, however irrational the situation they present may be.

But I'm not afraid of death. I've been threatened with it, forced to accept it as my fate. Horror movies hardly play onto my fears. If anything, they're a representation of what my life has been like.

I'm afraid of living. I'm afraid of loving and having it taken away from me.

I'm afraid of Jeffery.

If this movie was about him, I'd be cowering in a corner.

"Hey, we're home," Alex's voice floats in the room, disturbing the silence we had.

Aaron screams again, this time blood curdling, enough to make a grown man cringe. He throws the pillow in his grasp across the room, hitting Alex's shadowed frame in the head. Alex falls to the ground.

"What the hell?" Alex groans.

Jack turns on the light without warning. The sudden illumination of the room hurts my eyes for a moment.

"Sorry. I thought you were the creepy girl from The Grudge," Aaron says, biting his lip.

"It's cool," Alex replies.

"Alex, are you okay?" I ask, standing and walking to his side.

He looks up at me from his position on the ground, a small smile on his face.

"I'm fine, just have a little headache. Nothing nursing from a cute blonde couldn't help," he answers.

He's not referring to me, is he?

"I don't know where you expect to find a cute blonde who can nurse you back to health."

"Well I'm looking at a cute blonde. Care to be my nurse?"

My cheeks get hot, "Sure."

Alex pushes himself to his feet, towering over my short frame.

"What do you suggest I do first, nurse?" he smirks.

"Bed rest?" I ask.

"Sounds like a plan. Help me get upstairs."

His hand rests on the small of my back and he guides me to the staircase.

"Aw," August coos as we leave the room.

Alex's arm wraps around my waist as we walk upstairs. His hold isn't tight; it's loose, comfortable. He knows I won't run.

I don't want to run.

"Are you ready for bed?" he asks.

I nod.

"Good. We have a long day of shopping tomorrow."

Oh right, I need clothes.

His hold around my waist drops when we enter the room.

I miss the warmth it was giving me.

Alex removes his shirt, tossing it to the floor. His hands move to the button of his pants; I flush and look to the wall.

The wall that used to have a bunch of scantily clad women on it.

The pictures no longer decorate its surface. Instead, my Missing Poster, curtsey of Amber Alert, hangs on the wall alongside a picture from the last dance competition of me in the schoolteacher outfit.

"Why did you change your wall?" I ask, still staring at his wall.

"You didn't like the pictures," he states.

"That doesn't mean you had to change it."

"Well, that wall is designated to pictures of my fantasy girl. It only seems fitting I put you on there. Though I only have those two pictures. I'm going to have to take more."

I snap my head to look at him. He smiles at me, sincere.

"I don't know what to say," I state.

"Tell me you love it."

"I love it," I can't help giggling a tiny bit.

"Now tell me you want me to be your cuddle buddy."

"Alex," I start.

"Do it," he whines.

I laugh, a real laugh.

And it feels good.

Alex sits on the bed, grabs my hand, and tugs me to a laying position next to him. He turns the lamp next to his bed off, the only source of light in the room gone. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me to his chest, placing the blanket on top of us.

"Goodnight, Alex," I yawn.

"Goodnight, princess," he replies.