After Snow

As I arrived at school, everything seemed in a better mood. Everyone was smiling and were treating others nicely. I thought it was probably because it was almost Friday. But I hadn’t seen a day like this for the past few months or so. I walked up to Ricardo, who had slept with so many girls for the past months to try and forget Marina, yet still managed to let something about her slip now and then.

“Hey, what’s all the commotion?” I asked him.

“No one told you?” He rhetorically asked. “Lia is back,”

Those three words knocked the air out of my lungs. My vision slightly blurred, my palms felt sweaty and my heart rate sped up. After months of forcing my thoughts away from anything connected to her, months of forgetting everything about her, it all seemed to collapse right before my eyes. Just her name made me feel confused, lost, and hopeless.

“Where is she?” I forced the words out of my throat. I crossed my arms, with difficulty due to the weather. Winter was still here and it wasn’t leaving any time soon. Out of the twelve months of the year, about eight were snow and rain.

“She’s over there,” He pointed at a crowd of people squished together. Everyone in the circle seemed to be very happy. Something that had died a long time ago after she stopped coming to school. Unwillingly, my feet started moving towards the crowd and like magic, people moved aside and there she was.

Her beautiful long, chocolate brown hair was gone. Now it was stylishly chopped and it fell right bellow the jaw line. It wasn’t curled or straightened. It was her natural hair, wavy and glossy. She now had different bangs, before they were long and straight. Now they covered her forehead perfectly and were slightly curled inwards. Her heart-shaped face looked rather pale and she had bags under her bright blue-green eyes. But nonetheless, she had the wide and beautiful smile she wore. She was nodding at what someone had told her and she giggled. That cute sound I had missed so much.

“Hey,” I loudly greeted. Her eyes widen and her head snapped towards me. Her eyes looked shocked for a split second before changing to pure happiness. Her smile was bigger and she turned completely towards me.

“Hi,” She greeted back. She started walking towards me. I noticed she looked slightly taller than before. When she was right in front of me, my heart felt like it was going to burst any second now.

“How have you been?” She asked, genuinely worried.

“I’ve been great,” I lied. “How about you?”

“Same old,” Was her reply. I wished I knew how she always was. I never really asked her that before, and she never replied with the truth. There were so many questions running through my mind, but I wasn’t sure if I should ask them. I wanted to know why she left, why she came back, why had she intended she was a bad person. But I stopped my thoughts and came back to reality.

“Well, it was good to see you, Lia. I have to go now, I don’t want to be late for class, you know?” I monotonously said.

“It was good to see you too, William. And yes, I do know. See you around,” She smiled, and I had the feeling what she meant had some sort of double meaning. I nodded and walked away. I felt a string pull my heart. I wanted to turn back and hug her. I wanted to hold her and talk to her. But I ignored the feeling and kept on walking towards my first class period.

As I walked into Ethics, thankful I was going to be in this class for only one month and a half before I was free. The year was coming to an end. In this school, we start classes on February and we end them on November. Our ‘Summer Break’ wasn’t really summer. The hottest it got in this Godforsaken place was around eighteen degrees Celsius. I sat on my everyday desk and noticed the teacher was smiling and humming a song. He probably knew she was back.

When she left, I grew to hate this city. I hated every place or stranger in it. Now that she was back, everything I had accustomed my life to seemed to disappear. I no longer hated snow, or school. I patiently waited for her to walk in the classroom and take the seat no one had dared to seat in, hoping she would come back one day. I heard loud chatter outside the classroom, and I knew she couldn’t be too far away. I smiled.

“And maybe we can go to the movies this weekend,” I heard one of the girls suggest.

“That would be so much fun,” Lia laughed. It somehow sounded forced. She hadn’t changed that much. The bell rang and everyone was already in their seats. Her and Marina were talking like they had just seen each other yesterday.

“Ok, kiddos. As we can see, Lia is back,” Our teacher, Mr Cicco exclaimed.

“Yes, finally,” Lia smiled.

“So, I think we should take a break, since we have an.. assembly in a couple of minutes, anyways,” Mr Cicco smiled. Everyone exclaimed in happiness. Lia turned around to Marina and talked about going to the movies with everyone around her.

“William, do you want to go to the movies with us?” Marina turned around, expecting my answer.

“Um..” I started to say, but Lia cut me off.

“You can bring Ricardo, if you want to,” She smiled. Ricardo? I thought. Why?

“Um, sure..” I sheepishly replied. “What movie?”

“Um.. We aren’t too sure yet,” Marina replied, her voice sounded a bit angry, but I shrugged it off.

“Lia, you have to go to the theatre to get ready,” Mr Cicco told her.

“Yes,” She stood up and walked out of the class.

As soon as she left, everyone talked about how happy they were that she was back. I rolled my eyes, even though I agreed with them completely. I spaced out, thinking about nothing in general.

“The assembly will begin shortly, we will call the students to the theatre when they are needed,” The PA system spoke.

“Finally,” Mr Cicco breathed. “Leave your things here, do not take anything out of the classroom.”

“Yes,” Everyone in the classroom, including myself monotonously answered.

“Mr Cicco, we are ready for you. Mr Cicco we are ready for you,” The PA system spoke loudly.

“Alright, that’s our call. For a single line and quietly walk to the theatre,”

“Yes,” We all replied.

We all stood up and we organized ourselves in a line, everyone quietly wondering what the assembly was about. As we arrived to the theatre, it was almost full. We had to seat at the back seats, it was rather hard to see what was going on bellow, it was too dark. When the theatre was finally quiet, and the curtains slowly opened. Lia stood there centre stage, with at soft smile.

“As you all know, I’ve been absent for a couple of months. Most of you do not know the reason, and as much as I want to tell you, I can’t. I’m very sorry I caused such commotion for my absence, but due to personal matters, I have to leave the school,” Lia spoke to the microphone. Almost everyone in the room gasped at the news. The room was quickly filled with tension. I stood up and walked out of the theatre. I tried walking away from the doors, but I couldn’t. So instead, I sat in front of them.

“This is because I.. I’m not attending to university because I can’t. I hope you guys aren’t mad at me, but know that this is no reason to quit school, because trust me, if I could.. I would stay here ‘till the last day and finish school like I would’ve liked. Tomorrow is my last day here. And even though after I leave, you guys wont be able to see me.. Know that I love you all dearly, and wherever I may be.. I’m cheering you on and I know all of you will make me proud. I need to thank you guys for making this past four years so amazing, for always being by my side and making me smile. I’m going to m-miss you guys so much,” Her voice broke, and she sniffed.

“Please don’t fight or argue. Solve matters like the good people I know you all are. Study hard and smile wide. Remember this is the beginning of your adulthood, so live it well without any regrets, okay?” I could feel her smiling.

Slowly, the room was filled with sniffles and whimpers.

"Thank you for listening, we can now go back to class,” Lia spoke distantly and the room was filled with pained silence.

“But Lia, without you.. There is no reason in living!” I heard someone shout. A few agreed with whoever shouted. I silently agreed with them. My chest hurt so much, and I felt the need to cry. I hadn’t cried since my father died, it hadn’t hurt this much since then.

“What..?” Lia asked disbelievingly.

“School is breaking down without you, you can’t leave. We’ll die if you’re not here,” He replied. I walked in the theatre to see who had said such thing.

The lights were on, and Lia was slowly walking towards a guy I’ve never seen.

“Don’t say such things, Ryan. This isn’t anything special, I’ve just been chosen by this destiny that I’m sure others have gone through,” She walked closer, and placed her hand on his arm.

“No.. School without you is just living emptiness,” Ryan argued back. This time, everyone in school including the teachers, agreed.

“But it’s still living, isn’t it? Living is such a lovely and wonderful thing, there is nothing we can do. This is what fate chose for me, and like me.. You guys will have to accept it. If not for me.. Accept it for yourselves, it’s better that way,” She smiled. Ryan looked down, and hid his watered eyes.

“I have to go now guys, I’m sorry,” She laughed. “I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” Everyone sent her off, quietly keeping the comments to themselves. Everyone sat down, and didn’t made a single sound.

“I know this must hurt everyone, that is why today.. You guys are dismissed and can go home for the day,” I heard the principal announce and none looked up from their laps. Silently, the room was emptied. I sat on the floor, and looked at the spot where she had been standing when she announced the news.

“Why.. Why are you leaving me again?” I whispered to myself. My eyes watered and my phone vibrated. I looked at it and there was a text message from Mom.

Come to home fast. We need to go somewhere.

I grumpily stood up. I grabbed all of my school supplies and drove home. As I arrived home, I saw Mom walk out of the house. She turned around and caught my eyes.

“Oh, goody. You’re here. We have to go now,” She walked towards me and pulled me towards her car.

“Where are we going?” I asked uninterested.

“Hospital,” She got in the car, and I followed a few seconds later.

“Why?”

“It’s not my secret to tell,” She started the car and backed out of the parking spot.

“Why can’t you be a normal mother that loves gossiping?” I muttered.

“Because if I were a normal mom, I’d be boring, don’t you think?” She perkily asked.

“Whatever,” I groaned, looking out the window. The ride to the hospital was dreadful. It was filled with awkward silence.

“We’re here,” Mom announced. I blinked a couple of times and noticed she was right. I got out of the car, and waited for her to do the same.

“Ok, lets go in,” Mom wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me towards the hospital. As we walked in, I noticed the short, chocolate brown locks in front of me. She turned to the side, and walked towards the neurologist’s door.

That sad smile, those blue-green eyes, that voice. It was Lia. The neurologist’s door opened and there was a man around his late thirties in a white suit smiling at Lia, holding the door open for her.

“Doesn’t it get boring having to come here every day?” He asked Lia.

“Not at all, I have to come here to get better, after all. Right?” She laughed. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Get better? Get better at what?” I asked Mom, fully knowing she was looking at her as well.

“It’s her secret to tell,” Was all she said, giving me a slight push towards the door Lia had walked in. My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt deeply worried. So many questions in my head looked for answers. Is this the reason she was leaving school? Is this the reason she was leaving everyone? But more than anything, I wanted to know why.