All I Wanted Was You, John O'Callaghan.

I watched as the roads passed me by, I didn’t really pay attention. My mind was on different topics—topics that demanded my attention. I hadn’t stopped thinking about John; in fact, he was on my mind 24/7. Even though we were on the same bus, I never saw him anymore.

He knew my schedule, he knew the times I woke up and fell asleep, when I liked to go to shower, when I wanted eat. He knew me too well, and he was using that to his advantage. He woke up extra early to avoid seeing me. He showered early too, and left the bus before anyone else when it stopped. At night, he retreated to his bunk earlier than usual; making it clear that he had no interest in hanging out with me and the rest of the band. Mostly me.

“Jenny, he’ll get over it.” Kennedy comforted me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I didn’t shake his hand off, even though I had the strongest urge to. I didn’t turn towards him, I didn’t react.

“He won’t, Ken. I know him—he won’t forgive me.” My voice scared me—it sounded dead, lifeless. I guess that’s what happened when everything was spiraling out of control.

“You have to be positive.” He said cheerfully. “John gets mad over a lot of things, but in time, he gets over them.”

I faced Kennedy, my dark blue eyes boring into his brown ones. My lower lip quivered as the tears collected in my eyes. “Not this time, Kennedy. I can feel it.”

“Oh, Jen. Don’t cry, please don’t.” He said, looking panicked. He didn’t know how to handle a girl crying.

I wiped my tears away. “Sorry.” I sniffed.

“It’s okay. You know that, right? It’ll be okay. You just have to give him some time.” He embraced me in a hug.

A heard a snort from behind us and I turned around, already knowing who it was. John. Seeing him after all this time—two days—brought back every single feeling I’ve ever had for him. It came over me, stronger than hurricane winds and more potent than any other emotion.

“John.” I whispered. This was my chance—I could say something, anything, to try and fix it, but the look in his eyes stopped me. He looked half-crazed even, but he was still angry. His eyes weren’t warm and inviting like before, they were cold. Had I done that?

John rolled his eyes and grabbed a bottled water from the mini fridge. “Be careful, Kennedy, just when you think she’s all yours, she’ll back stab you.” He said over his shoulder, going back to his bunk.

Whatever conviction I had had in me to make things right drained out of me when I heard that. Did he think that of me? I guess I deserved it.

“John, what is your problem?” Kennedy snapped and John stopped short, turning around to face us.

“My problem is that Jennifer, here, thinks she can manipulate anybody and everybody with just a few tears.” John shot back. I flinched at his words.

Kennedy opened his mouth to say something, but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Don’t.” I said softly, my eyes meeting John’s. I wanted so badly to go up to him and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, just like I would do every morning and every evening. “I’ll be out of here in a day, John.” I let him know.

John didn’t respond, just kept his lips pressed tightly in a line. His eyes were as cold as ever and it took all I had to keep eye contact.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, hoping he could hear me.

He was about to turn around, to leave, so I spoke louder. “John, I never meant to hurt you.” I hesitated, and then continued. “I still lo—“

“Save it.” John cut me off sharply and went back to his bunk.

I wish so desperately I could make things right.