Sink Into Me

I guess you could say I felt slightly guilty..okay very guilty, but I didn’t know why, it wasn’t as if I was the one in the wrong, it was all stupid Adam’s fault. Okay, now I sound like a five year old.. I guess I was partly to blame, although I didn’t want to admit it. I mean, Adam was hardly the type of person to genuinely mean an apology let alone give one, needless to say I was confused, about everything.
After pacing around the set for what seemed like forever I’d finally regained some what sanity and sat down on the floor out of sight to make sure I would be alone, just me and my thoughts.
The chorus of ‘Liar’ filled the once quiet atmosphere as I dug my cell out of my jean pocket to see who was calling me.

“Lidia” I mumbled to myself as I pressed answer, but before I could get a word in Lidia began cursing me through the phone.

“TAYLOR?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS! I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK!” She screeched.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled “I needed time to think, I guess”

“It’s okay, I was just so worried, where exactly are you?” She questioned.

“I’m still on set, I’m sat near..” I scanned around the room to find something so that she might recognise where I am, as my eyes landed on the soda crates in the distance. “I’m near the soda crates” I sighed as I pulled my legs up closer to my chest.

“Okay, don’t go anywhere. I’ll be there in a minute” She sighed as she hung up.

I had no idea I’d been gone that long, I guess time flies when you’re lost in thought.

“Taylor!” Lidia shouted which snapped me out of my thoughts.

I got up from my once comfy position on the floor and stretched a little, walking out from the corner.

“I’m here” I mumbled.

Lidia ran over to me and hugged me tightly as I sighed and gently wrapped my arms around her.

“Are you okay?” She whispered.

“Just peachy” I chuckled.

She pulled back and raised an eyebrow at me.

“I’m fine, well, I will be anyway” I smiled.

She kept her eyebrow raised at me as she spoke hesitantly “Okay… Well shooting’s finished until the morning, so we’re all heading back to the hotel”

I nodded in response as I linked my arm with hers. I began to walk slowly back to the main area of the set which began to annoy Lidia as I was of course doing it on purpose, but what could I do as I was dreading seeing everyone, well, seeing him.
The walk back ended much sooner than I intended as I was met with the sight of Matt, Eddie, Mark and Fred staring at me.

“And just where have you been?!” Matt scolded as he uncrossed his arms.

“Matt relax, I’ve just been exploring the set” I shrugged effortlessly.

Wow. I’m good at pretending nothing’s wrong.
Matt just shook his head a little as he walked forward and ruffled my hair.

“I wish you’d stop doing that” I glared as the others laughed in unison.

“I know you do, which is why I’m not going to” Matt grinned as we all made our way to the doors.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Where was he?

“Where’s Adam?” I scoffed.

“He’s gone back to the hotel already, he got a cab back, something about wanting “his own space” or something” Matt shrugged.

Score. I was in for a non-awkward ride back.

As we arrived back into the hotel parking lot a lump rose in my throat. I coughed a few times but it didn’t do anything as I began fidgetting.

“Taylor?” Matt questioned as he raised an eyebrow at me.

“What? I’m excited to see what the rooms are like” I lied.

“But you’ve already seen them?”

“So? That was a brief look, now hurry up, I want to see!” I cheered.

Phew.

I sighed in relief as we all jumped out of the car and made our way into the hotel lobby. My eyes darted around the lobby as I sighed once more. There was no sign of him.
When we reached the two rooms I grabbed the card off of Matt and slid the card into the slot quickly as ran inside, jumping on the closest bed enthusiastically.

“Look after her” Matt laughed as he told Lidia who laughed in response.

We, well I say we I mean they as I was too occupied on the comfy bed, that we’d all meet for dinner at 9 o’clock to give everyone plenty of time to relax, and I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to relax.

Lidia sat on the end of the bed and crossed her legs as it sunk a little.

“You’re going to have to talk to Adam sooner or later, you know.” She pointed out.

I just sighed in response as I sat up and crossed my legs, placing my chin in the palm of my hand.

“Why do I have to? It’s not necessary” I scoffed.

I know I was being pathetic and that it was necessary to at some point but I really didn’t care at the time.

“It is necessary, you know it is. What did he say that’s made you like this?” She asked, concerned.

It was like a little stab in the chest every time his words ran around my head.

“He said he hated me” I mumbled as I ran a hand through my hair.

“So? You two always say you hate each other..unless there’s more to it?” She questioned as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t know..maybe there is. I just don’t know” I sighed.

Lidia rubbed my arm soothingly as I sighed.

“Look, I think you need more time to clear your head, go out and get some air for a while, just be back by nine okay?”

I nodded in response, moving towards the end of the bed and wrapping her in a hug.

“You’re amazing” I chuckled as she wrapped her arms around me.

“I know, now get going” she laughed as she removed her arms and pushed me lightly.

“Okay, okay” I grinned as I got up and walked the few steps towards the door, twisting the doorknob and spetting out into the hall, closing it behind me.

I had no idea where to go, It wasn’t the right time to just go and explore Los Angeles considering I’d get lost in a heartbeat, but I had to go somewhere. I stopped at the elevator and pushed the button, stepping inside as the doors opened. I sighed as I pushed the button to take me to the lobby and smiled slightly as the doors opened not long after. I walked out into the lobby and looked around as my eyes landed on a sofa equipped with magazines, I smiled at the sight and made my way over there. Sitting down I picked up the latest issue of Alternative Press and flipped to the first page as my eyes skimmed over the text. The “ding” noise of the elevator broke me out of my concentration as I peered over the top of the magazine, I was met with a pair of eyes I really didn’t want to see.

I sighed to myself. Just great.