How A Heart Breaks

Any previous wish I had for the other guys to not say anything about the hickeys completely vanish when they break open the door to our room. While I only jump apart from Porter, he completely freaks, giving a scream and launches himself behind the other bed. It was as though he flew- he was there in a mere matter of seconds. It's silent as each one of us looks over at him to see pieces of his hair sticking out proudly from behind his shield. I roll my eyes, and kick the sheets off of me.

"How the fuck did you guys get in here?" I growl, reaching over for my jeans absentmindedly. I look at them for an answer, but Nathan is just grinning, Julian is beginning to laugh at Porter, who is now getting up and Hayden is making his way over to the bed to sit next to me. I pull on my jeans quickly, and my shirt follows shortly after

"The chick at the desk gave us an extra key," Nathan finally explains, waving the key-card around. What amazing security measures they've got, I think to myself."It's amazing what my smile can do, isn't it?" I roll my eyes at his inflated ego and stand up, looking over to Porter who's pulling his jeans on.

"Hey!" Julian jumps over to me, pointing to my neck. I scowl, and slap his hand away from me.

"I made that!" Porter squeals, running over and jumping into my arms. His legs attach themselves around my waist, but I don't bother wrapping my arms around him. I feel my ears begin to heat in embarrassment, and I practically push the boy off of me. Hayden, Julian and Nathan just break out into laughter as though the situation was entertaining. And perhaps, from their point of view, it was. But I knew Porter and I knew that he would proclaim 'look what I made!' to anyone that so much as glanced at me. He's lucky he's fucking adorable, or I could punch him.

But, I settle for kissing his cheek instead. I look into his eyes afterward, noticing his eyes shine a little brighter. I smile to myself, in a conceited manner, knowing that I've placed a little more shine in those gorgeous eyes of his.

"Aw come on!" Hayden shrieks, "You had all night to-"

"Hayden," I growl, "If you don't shut up, your right hand won't have anything to play with anymore." Porters howling laughter makes my hardened expression fall, so I turn away from Hayden and the others before they notice. Before they notice that Porter could basically get me to do anything, no matter how crazy it was. Before they notice how quickly he can calm me down, and before they notice the fire in my eyes that comes from my heart. I don't particularly know why I don't want them to notice those things, but it just seems uncomfortable to me.

I mean, I'm, well...Pash. The way they know me now is the way they've always known me, and I can't help but to think I'd be a little weird to suddenly change (even if it was minuscule) because I've got Porter now. And I know they wouldn't care, but they're just them and I know they would tease me about it. Because a little something can finally change me, a little something can make me sweet and loving, and that little something came in a human form named Porter.

I guess it was just weird, even if the others have seen me be affectionate toward Porter. I suppose I'm more of a bitter, bland person, but Porter...he doesn't make me feel like that anymore. I scowl on the outside, but I feel like a damn teenage girl on the inside, and I guess Porter will be the only one who sees that to the full extent- when we're alone, that is.

I guess these losers have been talking or something of the sorts, because I get a slap on the back of my head from Porter. I hiss, and glare at the boy.

"What?"

He just smiles that confident, happy smile. "You ready to leave?" It's then that I notice everyone else had already walked out the door, except for Porter and I. I barely have time to nod before he steps onto his toes to peck my lips so quick, I'm left wondering if it had ever happened. But as I just stare at him, he just giggles and runs to the door saying 'catch me!'. I roll my eyes, but I run after him anyways.

And I'll always run after him. I'll chase him until my legs feel as though they're falling apart, and then I'll chase him until they go numb after that. And then I'll just crawl. Shit, I would do anything for him, and I don't know if he quite knows that, but I suppose I'll tell him one day. Because I'm sure I have time. I'm sure we have time.

“Hey!” Julian calls just as I manage to reach out and capture Porter in my arms. I pull him against my chest while he laughs and press my lips to his cheek. “Guys!” Julian calls again. I turn myself and Porter around, making Porter laugh lightly.

“Yeah?” If my voice sounds remotely annoyed, it’s because I am annoyed, though only slightly.

“We’ve got an interview.” At the words, all of us just stop what we’re doing and stare at Julian.

“Wow, you prick,” Nathan sighs, “Way to let us know ahead of time! I mean, what if it’s a hot chick? I smell like testicles! I could’ve freshened up!”

Hayden laughs, “Don’t blame him for your dementia, dude. You should’ve showered last night, regardless. So, that’s kind of gross on your part. And, of course this means if this chick is hot, she’ll be coming to me.” Hayden smiles crosses his arms as a matter-of-factly. I look at Porter, who’s looking at me and we roll our eyes at the same time and laugh before I let him go to lace our hands together.

“Well, lets go then,” I say, nodding my head toward the bus, “Wouldn’t want to be late for this interview.”

I hate interviews. It’s all about trying to find out if the guys in the band have a girlfriend, and if they’re virgins and what they look for in a person if they don’t. That’s seems to be all these interviewers want to know. I guess I don’t blame them, as they’re frequently asked questions, I suppose, and since these interviewers are targeting the fans, it’s understandable. I don’t hate the fans in the least, I love them all,really. I guess the questions and the bored, awful tone of the interviewer just put me on edge.

The rest of the guys knew I was angry, they keep giving me these looks that just beg me not to lash out because it would end up being a headline on buzznet or some shit. So, I keep my mouth shut for most of the interview. Until this guy says something that just manages to push me off the cliff I was balancing on. He says asks about Porters’ drug addiction, and not very sympathetically, may I add.

Still, since Porter is Porter, he answers kindly, telling the interviewer that he’s over that now.

The interviewer- the stubborn jackass- just won’t let it go.

“But, why did you fall into it? Do you think it’s going to happen again? How did it feel to be a druggie? Is that why Pash left the band?” My eyes narrow into slits, and Porter clears his throat, and links his fingers through mine as a way of calming me down. He knows that it’ll keep me from ripping this guy apart. Even if Porter himself would like to see this guy in pieces right about now. This is by far the worst interview I’ve ever been a part of.

“It’s something I regret in my life,” Porter says finally, “and it’s something I’d rather forget about than talk about. It was a mistake, and I’m over it now.”

The interviewer nods, “Yes, bu-”

“Will you let it go, already?” I growl, “What more do you want to hear?” The guy looks to the camera, then back at me.

“There’s been rumors that you and Porter are dating,” the interviewer says, “is this true?”

“Yes,” I say through clenched teeth.

The interviewer whistles, “fans aren’t going to be pleased.”

“You know,” I say, “Like, I don’t really give a fuck what fans think about this relationship.” Porter squeezes my hand, and the interviewers’ eyes lock on our intertwined fingers.

“You both are so different-“ the guys are looking pretty terrified now, but they don’t say a word, “do you actually think this relationship will last?” The guy looks at us like we’re delusional.

“Excuse me?” I growl, taking my hand from Porter, who gives a soft sigh.

“That, and the fact that there are so many other people out there. Aren’t you worried that he’s going to cheat on you?” I stiffen immediately, memories from when we weren’t together sneaking up on me. The atmosphere is tense now, and Nathan is the first to speak up.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Nathan says, “I think this interview is done.” My hands are in fists at my side as I watch the guys force the interviewer to pack up and leave, while he’s walking away, I briefly think about how the guy will twist my words. All the while, Porter is beside me, with his hand rubbing up and down my back

“You know I’d never do that to you, Pash,” he whispers into my ear. I don’t respond, I’m too fucking livid to say anything. I gently push Porter away from me and stomp after the interviewer.

“Hey!” I call once I’m close to him- he turns and before he can even see who it is, my fist is flying at his face. Nathan and Julian are holding my arms the instant it happens, and Hayden is helping the stupid man up. Soon, Porter is in front of me, trying to calm me down, and it works once his arms fall onto my shoulders and his fingers knot themselves into my hair. He forces my head down to look at him. My face softens immediately.

“Pash,” he says, “Just let it go. Please.”

And I do let it go, because he asked me to.

I nod and melt into his touch, knowing that interviewer was wrong. I’m never letting Porter go.