Light Me On Fire

Walking into first hour, I felt sick. My stomach had been doing flip flops since I woke up this morning, and seeing Becca in her desk, only made my nausea worse. I slid into my seat, not saying a word to her or Kelsi.

"Well, good morning to you, too," Kelsi joked.

"Morning," I sighed.

She gave me a wary look. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I'll tell you later. There are ... people around."

She glanced around the somewhat empty room before laughing. "It's like four minutes before the bell, Soph. The only people in here are you, me, Becca, and a few other people who I can guarantee could care less about our conversation."

I sighed, knowing she wouldn't catch on to what I meant. "Just listen to me."

"What're you guys whispering about?" Becca asked in a soft voice, taking a seat in the empty desk in front of Kelsi and I.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Nothing."

"Sophia has a secret," Kelsi told her.

"Kelsi!" I said, smacking her arm.

She pushed me, rubbing the spot on her arm I had hit. "What? It's just Becca, damn!"

"What is it?" Becca laughed.

"I'd really rather not say," I mumbled.

"Come on, it's me: Becca!"

"Exactly," I scoffed.

A confused look graced her face just as the bell rang. Without saying anything more, she went back to her desk.

"What the hell, Soph? That was rude," she told me.

I laughed. "You wanna talk to me about being rude, Miss Hot Mouth?"

She smirked. "Shut up."

Our teacher walked into the room, and everyone began rushing through the door. I opened my notebook and tried to ignore Becca's eyes boring into the side of my face.

_____________________________________________________________

By the time lunch came around, I could tell Becca was growing irritated with me. I had been avoiding her presence whenever she was around, only because I was afraid I would snap at her if I opened my mouth.

I took a seat next to Pat, who was already piling a spork full of mashed potatoes into his mouth. "Calm down there, Patty, before you choke."

He laughed. "I'm hungry. I woke up late and didn't have time to eat my Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

"Poor boy," I snickered, unwrapping my chicken sandwich from the foil around it.

Garrett sat across from us, a worried look on his face. "Guys, has Becca been acting strange to you?"

Pat shook his head. "No. Why?"

He sighed. "What about you, Soph?" I shook my head, biting off a large piece of my sandwich. "She just seems ... down, or something. I don't know, but something's up."

Jared and John were next to join the table, soon followed by Kelsi, Becca and Kennedy.

"Finally. That line was so fucking long and I got here only like two seconds after the bell rang," John stated before taking a seat to the left of me.

"Right? Like the food is even that good," Kennedy agreed, taking a seat beside him.

Kelsi sat across from Kennedy, while Becca sat beside her, next to Garrett.

"I don't know why they decided to enforce the closed-campus rule on us this year," Kelsi sighed.

"I know! It's not even fair," Jared nodded.

Becca quietly unwrapped her chicken sandwich, avoiding looking up at anyone. Garrett grabbed her hand and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

She seemed shocked. "I'm fine. Why, Gare?"

He shrugged. "You just seem a little down, or something."

"Maybe it's that time of the month," Jared joked, earning a laugh from everyone.

Becca rolled her eyes and smiled. "No, you're both wrong. I'm fine, guys."

I felt John's body go tense beside me, and a second later, his foot kicked my left leg. "Ow, John," I whispered. He gave me a look and I knew he was worried that I had said something. I shook my head, silently letting him know I hadn't spilled his secret.

"So what's going on after school?" Kennedy asked, taking a sip of Kelsi's Pink Lemonade.

"I have to work on a project for biology," Pat stated.

"I have plans to hang out with Alaska," Jared said before taking a bite of his burrito.

"She's cool, man. You need to get with her," John urged.

He laughed. "I'm trying."

"What about you, Sophie?" Kennedy asked.

"Uh ... I'm gonna go hang out with Nick," I said.

"Again?" John asked.

I looked at him as if he were crazy. "He's my boyfriend."

"Whatever. I have a job interview," he said.

"Oh, where at?" Garrett questioned.

"Best Buy."

"The one in town?" Kelsi asked, taking her lemonade back from Kennedy who pouted. John nodded his head. "My cousin Ron works there. Maybe he can get you in."

John smiled wide. "Ask him. I really need to save up some money, Kels."

She laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

"Did you still wanna go to the mall, Beccs?" Garrett asked.

She nodded her head. "Yeah. I just have to run home and change, but I still want to go."

"Great," he grinned.

I sighed and took a sip of my water. I wondered how John felt sitting right across from the girl he liked, watching her flirt with another boy. Although I hated to admit it, I hoped he was experiencing what I felt when I had to watch him and Elle together.

When lunch was over, we all went our separate ways. I decided to ditch my last two classes and go straight over to Nick's. I knew I'd be hearing about this from my parents later, but I couldn't endure being in school any longer today.

I shoved my books into my longer, grabbing out my bag before checking the halls. Once I was sure it was clear, I made a run for the doors, going straight to my car. For once, I was thankful for arriving to school early; I had a parking space near the front.

Once I was inside, I wasted no time in starting the ignition and pulling out of the lot.

______________________________________________________________

"You ditched school to hang out with me? I feel so special," Justin smirked as he pulled the door open.

I laughed and gave him a hug. "Actually, I came here for that Santino kid sleeping on the couch," I said, raising my voice slightly on the latter part of my statement.

He scoffed and pushed me away from him, and I rolled my eyes, walking towards Nick. He yawned as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Have a good nap?" I asked, taking a seat on his lip.

"Mhm," he hummed before placing a kiss on my lips. "What time is it, babe?"

"I don't know. A little after twelve, I think."

"Twelve?" he questioned, his brows furrowing. "You didn't go to school today?"

"I did, I just left after lunch," I told him.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest as he leaned against the back of the couch. "What a bad girl you are," he said , a seductive edge in his voice.

I cracked up. "You sound like a creeper. Don't talk like that, babe."

He smirked. "You know you like it."

"Nick, you're all out of shampoo downstairs," Eric stated, walking into the living room while running a towel through his hair.

"Yeah, I figured you'd use it all. I'll buy some later," Nick said.

"Now that Eric's out, I can shower," Justin smiled, going down the hallway.

"What're you doing here, Soph?" Eric asked me before taking a seat on the couch.

"I couldn't take anymore of school; I had to leave."

He laughed. "I don't blame you."

I smiled and nodded my head. Nick looked at me and laid his chin atop my shoulder. "Babe, would you mind waiting here if I took a quick shower?"

I shook my head. "Not at all, Santino."

He smiled and gave me a kiss on my cheek, before getting up and walking upstairs to his room. Once he was out of sight, Eric stared at me.

"What, Halvo?"

He nodded his head towards the backyard. "Let's go smoke."

I stood up and laughed. "Yeah, sure."

I stepped outside with Eric behind me. We sat down on the stairs of the deck and I pulled a cigarette from the pack in my pocket.

"So, I heard you and John got into a little fight last night," he said.

I exhaled a breath of smoke. "Yeah, we did."

He laughed. "Did you believe what he told you?"

I looked at him, squinting my eyes. "What do you mean?"

Eric sighed and leaned back, his elbows supporting him. "Sophie, haven't you ever noticed the unusual closeness between you and John?"

I shook my head. "We've always been close. That sort of thing tends to happen when you've known someone over a long period of time."

"Right." He licked his lips and I took another drag of my cigarette. "Have you ever had feelings for John?"

I gave him a look of disbelief. "Eric,"

"Just answer the question, Sophia," he said.

I sighed, looking down at the small pile of ashes by my feet. "Maybe ..."

"It's a yes or no."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I've had feelings for John before," I admitted, knowing he wasn't going to stop until he got the truth.

"How long ago?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Halvo."

He sat up all the way and looked at me. "Just tell me, Soph. You know I'm not going to say anything."

I licked my lips, looking at the grass. "I have feelings for him now," I whispered.

"I thought so," he said, surprising me.

I quickly snapped my head in his direction. "What? How?"

He shrugged. "I can just see it. I've known John forever, and I've known you forever. It's not in what you do when you're around each other, but it's this ... aura you two give off."

I took the last puff of my cigarette before flicking it into the yard. "John doesn't feel the same way about me."

"What would make you think that?"

"I can just tell, Halvo." He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. I decided to speak up. "You can't tell anyone about this, Eric. I like Nick, and I'm not just with him for nothing."

He nodded his head. "Your secret's safe with me, Soph," he smiled before wrapping an arm around my shoulder

Although I had finally let the truth out, I didn't feel any better. If anything, I felt worse.