You Rock Like Escape The Fate

I almost felt bad for Bryan when I saw that bruise on his cheek. I almost felt bad for Bryan when he walked quietly past me and ran straight upstairs…. But I didn’t. I sucked it up and reminded myself that I hated him and had to make sure it stayed that way. Why ruin a good habit?

I sighed and picked up Craig’s lyric book from near his plate as he ate the spaghetti our wonderful Maxafer had cooked. Craig and I were the last ones in the kitchen. Hayley and Ronnie were out on the porch, Leila was asleep, and God only knows where Max and Bryan had disappeared to. Not that I cared where Bryan was… but…. Uhh nevermind… I began to read some lyrics called, “Bad Blood”, and honestly was sort of freaked out by them. They were so dark, and angry, and… I didn’t like to think of any of the boys as those things. It was the chorus that got me the most.

You can’t control us, nooo,
I think we’re losin’ control,
One more word!,
And we’ll cut out your eyes!
One more time!
And you’ll say your goodbyes!

Wow…

“Hey, Craigwell?”

“Craigwell?”

“Max is Maxafer and you are Craigwell. I switched the endings… Maxwell, Craigwell, Craigafer, Maxafer… get it?”

“Uhm… okay. Anyways, yeah?”

“Oh well uhm… care to explain the lyrics to Bad Blood?”

“Actually, that’s one of the songs that got put on the re-release of This War Is Ours. We wrote it for all the haters that try to tell us we’re horrible, people that make us feel like crap… but I don’t think any one of us could actually do the things we say in that song…” he replied, laughing a little at the end. Haters... Haters like Jason… I shuddered and pushed the thought from my mind.

“Oh what, does that suddenly make you a wuss for not wanting to cut somebody’s eyes out?” I asked.

“NO, I was just saying… GOSH!” he defended, pouting. I started laughing hard at his facial expression. I flipped to the most recent page and read some of the lyrics… I can definitely say I never would have expected them.

I don’t know myself anymore,
don’t know who I’ve become,
I’m falling for a girl I’m never gonna be with,
Falling for a girl who’d never want my kiss.
Where am I in this fairytale?
Where do I belong?
Why is her heart all I want?

She smiles and I have to hold my breath,
She cries and I have to scream,
She laughs and I have to try not to forget the rest.
The rest of the world, the rest of my worries,
The rest of the pain that awaits me.

She was the first one to make me talk,
Now I can’t shut up.
She was the first to make me smile,
Now I can’t keep my eyes off the tile,
I’m too afraid she’ll see the grin on my face.
What kind of hell is this place?

This place where she isn’t mine,
This place where I have to make her cry,
This place where she wants my best friend,
This place where the pain refuses to end…

“Craig… did you write these?” I asked, bewildered by the lyrics.

“No, actually, I haven’t seen those yet. Maybe one of the guys wrote it when I wasn’t looking,” he said.

“Oh… alright,” I replied, my mind thinking back to when Bryan came into the living room and sat down, Craig’s lyric book in his hand. I wonder who the girl is… Not that it mattered to me, I was just curious.

I got bored of watching Craig enjoy the spaghetti and got up. I headed up the stairs so I could maybe… lay down or something, when I heard sniffles coming off of Max and Bryan’s room. I stopped in front of the door, and listened in.

“I can’t believe it, man! What am I gonna do?! It’s all ruined… I keep messing up everyone’s lives and now my arm and…gah! I hate this!” I heard Bryan’s voice cry. He sounded so messed up, in so much pain.

“Bryan, dude, calm down. You don’t mess anyone’s life up, what are you talking about!?” Max’s voice replied. I peeked in and saw Bryan’s face red and full of anger and tears, and Max was sitting next to him on the bed, looking confused. Monte Bryan Money was… crying?

“I made her cry, man! What kind of self-respecting guy does that!? I make everyone in this flipping place so unhappy… I’m the one constantly causing problems around here, just like Hayley said!!”

“No you don’t, Bryan, she was just defending her best friend. She didn’t mean it like that, trust me. Besides, your arm will be fine, so don’t freak about it,”

I couldn’t take it anymore, I was ready to burst into tears myself, I couldn’t take seeing Bryan so messed up like this. I lightly knocked on the door and stepped in before Bryan could reply. Bryan immediately looked down and put his head in his hands, shaking. Max looked at me helplessly. I nodded my head in the direction of the door and he understood. He got up and patted Bryan on the back, then walked past me and out of the room, softly shutting the door. I sat down next to Bryan.

“Bryan… what’s going on?” I asked. He didn’t move, except the trembling his body did with each sob. I sighed and began running my hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him. Why was he so upset? Why was I so upset… that he was upset?

“I-I… I’m sorry…” he mumbled. I was in shock…

“Bryan, it’s okay… you don’t need to worry, it’s not your fault I’m a complete failure at everything…”

“You aren’t a failure… you make everyone here happy, you have all these awesome best friends, you have Craig… you are anything but a failure. Me, I’m another story… look at my arm! I tried picking up the guitar and playing while everyone was in the kitchen and Ronnie and Hayley were out walking… it hurt so bad I had to put it back down just as soon as I had picked it up. I can’t ever play guitar again, Jessi, do you get that?”

“Bryan, don’t talk like that! Of course you’ll play again! Where is this coming from?!”

“How do you know!? How do you know my brother won’t have to replace me in the band while I go work at McDonalds cuz I can’t play anymore!? How do you know I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life wishing I could play that guitar again!?” he cried, looking up at me. I could read the pain right off his face. The music was his whole world and he was afraid of losing it. I reached over and pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go, even when he stiffened against my arms or when he tried to nudge me away.

“Bryan, I promise you, none of that will ever happen to you, ever. Do you hear me? This will be completely healed within the next three months, and by then you will be getting ready for your next tour, and practicing daily with your guitar, doing even more amazing solos all the time. I’ve studied this for a long time, Bryan… trust me, I know exactly what I’m talking about. Okay?”

“Okay… I’m so sorry for saying all those things to you… I was just being a jerk for no good reason,”

“Well, so was I… so don’t worry about it… don’t worry about it…” I told him, hugging him tighter. He slowly hugged me back and we stayed like that for a while, until someone knocked on the door and we both practically fell off the bed, pushing each other away, and fixing ourselves from the “hug” look. I wiped the stray tears I hardly knew were there and smiled at Hayley as she stepped through the door and smiled at the two of us sitting in the same room without killing each other. She had Uncle Ben’s cell phone held against her shoulder.

“Daisy is on the phone, she’s dropping off last-minute items before she goes on her ten-day break and wants to know if either of you guys need anything,” she told us.

“Tell her to bring some detergent, we need to start doing laundry loads,” I replied.

“Actually, yeah I need something, can I talk to her?” Bryan said. Hayley raised an eyebrow at him, but handed him the phone all the same. I stood up and stepped out of the room with her while he told Daisy what she needed.

“SOOO what’s the scoop!?” Hayley asked me excitedly. “Max said you two were kissing and making up!!” she squealed.

“WHAT!? I am sooo gonna kill you, MAX!!!” I yelled down the stairs. I heard him mumble a cuss word and then running feet, but decided not t go on the chase yet. “Ugh, NO, I don’t like him like that, I just didn’t want him to be so upset. I simply made him feel better,”

“Mhm… okay then, if you sayyy so,” she snickered, running into the room and getting the phone from Bryan. I walked in as she left, and sat next to him on the bed.

“Soo…” I started.

“Soo…” he mimicked.

“I still hate you, just so you know,”

“Well, I still hate you,” he retorted. “Hey, can you not tell the guys I was nice to you earlier? They bet I’d crack and ask you to be my—friend… in three weeks. I really don’t wanna lose forty bucks…” he asked. I laughed and nodded.

“Sure, don’t worry about it. Same here,”
“Will do,” he replied, standing up and walking to the door. “I hate you,” he said with a grin.

“I hate you, too!” I called as he left the room and went down stairs. I smiled to myself to and shrugged, then walked out.

---$$$---

Daisy had just walked in, and Max was the first to run up and hug her, picking her up and squeezing.

“We missed you!” He told her. She laughed and blushed as he pecked her on the cheek, and I laughed at them.

“Oh just make out already!” I yelled. Max glared at me and I smiled. “That was for earlier,” I stated. His mouth parted a little bit in shock and he gave another glare, before smiling evilly.

“You know I was right,”

“Psh, you wish!!”

“Whatever,” he laughed.

“What are you guys even talking about!?” Daisy said, cracking up at us.

“Best friend inside joke,” I explained. She nodded and started handing out the things we all asked for. She gave us a laptop (it was purple… how awesome is that!?) and the broadband stick thingy that gave it internet, which was going to be very important over the next several days, we soon found out. She then grabbed the bag with the last thing and mumbled Bryan’s name.

“Kitchen,” he ordered, stepping into the kitchen as she followed. Nobody seemed to notice but me, and being the curious person I am, I stood against the door frame and listened to the conversation.

“Did you get the stuff?”

“Yep. Here you go,”

“Awesome. How long does it take to start working?”

“Not too long. Just put it in and wait, and then you should notice it start to change pretty quick,”

“Great.. I’ve been needing this for awhile,”

“You better hope Liesl doesn’t find out before it gets washed out of your system, or I will slap you so hard your head will spin,”

“Deal,”

By this time I was practically in tears. I didn’t need to look, I knew exactly what Daisy as handing to Bryan and what he ‘needed’ so badly. I couldn’t believe it. I was just about to act friendly towards him, just starting to trust him… and he was abusing drugs. And Daisy was helping him!!! I ran to my room and took deep breaths. In, out, in, out, in, out. I decided to watch some T.V. to forget what was thinking and pulled the portable television into my room, shutting the door and turning it on. I heard Daisy leave and the boys’ bathroom door shut and lock. I sighed and convinced myself it wasn’t drugs, then turned my focus to the movie I had put into the drive. “She’s the Man” which just so happened to be one of my favorite movies, along with The Day After Tomorrow, National Treasure, Dear John, and so many more.

Two hours of Channing Tatum (dreamy sigh) and Amanda Bynes (envious huff) later, I turned the television off and stepped down the stairs, looking around to find that Bryan was not with the group that sat playing pretend with Leila.

“Anyone know where Bryan is?”

“Ah-ha! SO I WAS RIGHT!!” Max yelled victoriously.

“Princess Maxine, you’re supposed to be asleep!” Leila scolded. I snickered at Max’s character and glared at him.

“NO you were not! I just so happened to wonder where the man was!”

“I don’t really know, he went to the bathroom a really long time ago, but I haven’t seen him since…” Craig answered. My breath hitched in my throat. I was right. I started hyperventilating and had to prop myself up against the couch to stay standing as I realized all of it at once. Tears started pouring down my face and I started yelling incoherently.

“Liesl! What’s wrong!? Liesl!!” Voices yelled at me. I stumbled up the stairs just in time to see Bryan walk out of the bathroom, and I fell backwards onto the floor at the top of the stairs, my eyes wide and mouth open. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Hayley kneeled by my side and followed my gaze to the man standing at the door entry, looking curious as to what the yelling was about. My breath was still hitched in my throat as I asked my question.

“Y-you… dyed your hair?”