The Drug Years

Lacey's Point of view
=================

I knew it would have happened sooner or later. It was inevitable...

I wasn't sure how to react. Should I be angry? Should I say it was all okay? I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about this because all I felt was numb. I sighed then looked at him. I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless.

Instead of standing there any longer, I walked into my bathroom and closed the door, locking it as well.

I sat against the wall opposite the door. I heard several soft knocks, but I wasn't going to let him in because I didn't want him to apologize. I didn't want to hear him plead for my forgiveness because I wasn't sure if I could forgive him at this moment. I knew how he felt about me. I also knew how he felt about her.

So why was this so hard for me?

I knew. Because I had put all my trust into him and he let me down. Broke my heart. I wasn't sure how long it would take before I would mend, but I knew it wasn't going to be soon.

Eventually Quinton would get the message and leave. He would go back to Grace because he wouldn't be getting anything from me, and I would sit here until someone cared to bother looking for me.

The knocks on the door stopped after an hour and I guessed he gave up and left finally. I didn't sleep. Not even for a minute. I just sat and thought. Thought of all the reasons why he would do something like this to me.

Another few hours had passed and I decided that I should try to get at least an hour or two of sleep before school tomorrow. I pushed myself up and unlocked the door. There sitting against the wall by the door was Quinton.

Great! I thought. He was supposed to leave. He wasn't supposed to stay because now I had to face him unless I went back into the bathroom and locked myself in again.

But I didn't want to do that.

I didn't want to talk either.

I just wanted sleep.

"Finally you're out," he stated.

"Can we talk later? I'm tired," I replied walking over to my bed and laying down.

"Sure," he replied getting up and sitting on my bed beside me.

"Go away," I said softly. I didn't have the energy to sound angry.

"If that's what you want," he spoke getting up off of the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow," he added before walking to the window and climbing out.

"Whatever," I replied as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

I woke up early. Before my alarm went off.

I felt grumpy and tired. Not a combination that went well together. I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms at the same time. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes before getting up and walking into the bathroom. To my surprise, on the toilet, sat a vase of sunflowers.

I stopped in the door way. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to feel happy, but they just reminded me that they were given to me out of guilt. It wasn't a random gesture that was showing me he cared. It was so I would forgive him.

And I knew I wouldn't forgive him today. Not yet. I needed time to think. To process what was going on.

"Are you going to talk to me today?" Asked a voice from behind me.

I jumped surprised that Quinton came back after I told him to go away.

He suppressed a grin as he leaned against the wall my bed was against.

"Shocked to see me?" He smirked.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"It's kind of obvious why I'm here," he stated.

I sighed and walked further into the bathroom, so I could close the door.

"You can't lock yourself in there all day," he whispered through the door. "You have to go to school; therefore, you must come out sooner or later, and I'll be here waiting."

Wasn't it usually the girl who usually wants to talk in situations like this and the guy who tries dodging all confrontations? Maybe I was watching too many teen movies. But the fact that I had a guy who wanted to fix things made me feel a little better. Maybe I would be able to forgive him today after all.

But then that would give him what he wants. Could I really just give in so easily to him? What we are going through would set a precedent for the future. If I forgave him now, then he would cheat more often knowing I would forgive him quickly if he gave a meaningful apology.

I sighed. What should I do? I didn't know, but for this second I didn't need to have things figured out.

I changed into a t-shirt and jeans. I exhaled deeply and opened the bathroom door.

"Let's talk," I said softly.