Status: On Hold
Forever in Our Memory
Chapter 1
She could hardly believe it had been almost a year since she lost the one person who mattered most in her life. As a little girl, all she wanted to do was be like her brother, but at the age of nineteen she learned what real heartache truly was. Her best friend and brother in one had died. There was no feeling in her entire body when she was told the news. She was numb. Locking herself away in her apartment that he had just helped her move into. She couldn’t turn to her mother; she was busy making sure that her brother’s girlfriend was going to be alright. That was something she’d never be able to get out of her mind, the fact that she watched her boyfriend crash and lose his life.
Eden Bourdon wanted someone to blame, but she couldn’t. There was no one to blame. But the one that she knew felt the most pain when she disappeared without telling anyone was Kris Letang. Being two years younger than Luc, meant she had no choice, but to go to his hockey games, but the fighting about having to go, stopped when she started to have a genuine interest in the sport. But during those times at the hockey rink she noticed how close the two boys were. Luc and Kris were the best of friends and it was a strong friendship.
So here she was in Pittsburgh after a year of no contact with him, she hoped that he would hear her out. She told her mother that she would talk to him and she wasn’t going to go back on her word. There was no way that she could. Her mother hadn’t told her if he had changed or if he was the same. The last time she saw him was at Luc’s funeral and that was emotional for everyone. She wondered if he had changed, things happen. He could have fallen in love and even started a family for all she knew. Many things could happen in a year, she was proof of that statement.
Trying to find a hockey player in the city wouldn't be the easiest thing, especially one that was quiet about places he liked to be. But knowing someone for a long time usually would give them an idea about where they would go. Looking up at the road, she slammed on the breaks as a fancy car cut in front of her without a warning. Glancing at the driver for a moment, she almost let it go, but then she saw who was behind the wheel of the car. It was the one she was looking for. Her brother’s best friend. He had someone in the passenger’s seat and she didn’t need to be told twice and she followed them. Not knowing how Kris would act when he saw her, made her slightly nervous. She knew she made her mother cry when she left without word and there were a few emails between them, but Eden couldn’t tell her where she was. It would have defeated the purpose of the trip.
In her time away from those who knew her best, Eden was a guest speaker about road safety, but that only lasted for a few weeks before it became too much for her to deal with. Since there was no one around to talk to about Luc, she used her laptop to write out her feelings. And that’s when she started to really write about the experience she had with losing the most important man in her life. Not knowing who her father was, Luc made sure that she didn’t need one and for that she was grateful. But he was gone and there were no more men in her life, but there was one she hoped could forgive her for her disappearing act.
Seeing him pull into the parking lot, she did the same thing. She parked as she watched him and a blonde guy got out of the car and walk into a book store. Taking a deep breath, she cut the engine and flipped her phone open. Staring back at her was a smile that no one would get to see again. Luc the night before his accident, it was at her new apartment. Luc’s girlfriend had taken the picture. “Give me strength, Luc.” Closing her phone she got out of the car, she shut the door and hit the alarm button as she started walking away and towards the store.
With each step she took to get closer, the more nervous she became. Thankfully, she could still see them. Wiping the sweat from her palms onto her jeans, she took another deep breath. The yellow long sleeved v-neck shirt was visible under her halfway zipped up white jacket. She saw the blonde guy smile at her as she went to move past him, but he moved into her way.
“Excuse me,” Eden said, knowing she needed to get past him in order to get to Kris. “I need to pass.”
“It looked like you were looking for someone,” he said still smiling at her. “Maybe I can help?”
“I was,” Eden told him. “And I don’t need help.”
“I’m Jordan,” he said sticking his hand out for her to shake. “Jordan Staal. And you are?”
“Eden Bourdon.”
The voice of Kris Letang, made her look to where he stood near where she was heading to. It seemed he had walked back in the time that Jordan had stopped her from following him. She heard the anger and the surprise in his voice. It was hard to hear that come from him. Kris had never so much as raised his voice or used any type of tone with her, so to hear the anger that seeing her caused him, she felt saddened by it.
“Bourdon?” Jordan asked.
Eden nodded her head as she looked down at her feet before closing her eyes as she felt the tears come to her eyes. She didn’t want to cry. Not in front of a stranger and not in front of Kris, especially not in front of Kris. He had seen her only one other time and that was during Luc’s funeral.
“She’s Luc’s sister.” Kris said, still staring at her.
Jordan knew that this had nothing to do with him and excused himself from the two. Opening her eyes, she looked at Kris and said the first thing that came to her mind. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Kris spat out at her. “Making your family and friends worry? For leaving and not telling anyone?”
“I didn’t mean for anyone to worry, but I’m not sorry for leaving,” Eden said. “It was something that I had to do. I didn’t come all this way after all this time to get in a fight with you over my actions.”
“Why are you here then?”
“My mom wanted me to extend an invitation to you,” Eden told him. “We are going to have a dinner in memory of Luc. She says you can invite your teammates for the larger dinner, but we are having a more personal one first.”
“Why now?”
“Because she doesn’t want it to interfere with your hockey, but she wanted to make sure if you wanted to come that you would be able to make it.”
“Are you going to be there or are you taking off for another year?”
“Just because you’re mad that I left and didn’t tell you or contact you, don’t think you can understand what was happening with me. There were many things that you didn’t know about. I had a promise to keep and I don’t break my promises.”
“What promise?” Kris asked, his tone less angry and more curious. “To who?”
“To Luc,” Eden said as the tears spilled from her eyes.
Wiping them away before they made it all the way down her face, she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She had been doing that a lot. Not wanting her emotions to take over, but sometimes she couldn’t help it. She wanted nothing more than to run to her brother and hold onto him as if it was the last time, but there was no such relief for her. He was gone, never to be there for her. The pain of his death ever present in her mind. While walking down the street, she’d see a motorcycle and she’d think of him and that would cause more tears. Looking into Kris’ eyes, she backed away from him. “I have to go.”
Turning around she had only made it a few steps when she felt a hand on her arm. She stopped and looked at him. Kris’ eyes had tears in them as well and he pulled her into his chest where she cried as he held onto her. “I miss him too.”
“He was too young, it’s not fair,” she said burying her face into his chest as she felt his hand rubbing her back. “He’s always supposed to be there for me and he’s not. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. It hurts so much, it’s been almost a year and it feels like it just happened.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But remember the good times. He hated when you were sad. It made him unhappy.”
“I want him back, so much,” Eden told him, gripping his shirt. “I want things to go back. When he was so happy.”
“He was happy,” Kris told her. “And he loved you, you have to know that.”
“I know, but it hurts too much,” she said. “Why would he leave me like this? Why Luc? He didn’t deserve what happened.”
“Edie, you know we can’t control that,” Kris told her. “If we could, he would be here telling us to stop crying over him and be happy. He loved seeing you happy. What made him happy was knowing you would be living close so he could keep an eye on you.”
“I want that so much right now,” she admitted. “I want him in my face about leaving and only talking to mom through email. I want him to yell and tell me what I was doing was reckless and stupid.”
“He was watching over you and made sure you were safe.”
With a heavy sigh, she regained her composure. Backing away from him she wiped her eyes. “Please say you’ll come to the dinner.”
“I’ll be there,” he told her. “How many people will be there?”
“Including you?” she asked. “Four at the small dinner.”
“Will you be there?” he asked.
“I will,” she promised. “And maybe afterwards we can talk?”
“We can talk now,” he suggested. “I can drop Jordan off and meet you somewhere?”
“I can’t,” Eden said. “I have to get some things done. I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that.”
“And I mean it,” Eden told him. “I’m not sorry for the things I’ve done, but I’m sorry how much pain I’ve caused you.”
“It wasn’t you,” Kris told her watching her. “It was how you did what you did. Knowing what you do now, putting us in that pain, would you change it?”
“Only if changing it could bring him back,” she said. “Otherwise, no. If I didn’t do it that way then I wouldn’t be standing here right now. I might not have come back at all. There was a lesson that I needed to learn.”
“You didn’t have to go through everything alone.”
“Yes I did,” she said, breaking eye contact. “But I have to go.”
“How do I get in touch with you?”
“Use your phone,” Eden grinned. “My number hasn’t changed at all.”
“I’ve missed you Eden,” Kris told her. “But I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“You’ll have to learn how to,” she told him. “And I’m willing for that to happen.”
“How much time do you have?” he asked. “How long are you in Pittsburgh for?”
“I’m here for awhile,” she said. “That gives me plenty of time. I’ll see you soon Kristopher.”
With a last glance at him, she walked away from him and out of the store and to her car. She understood where he was coming from, about why he didn’t trust her. It hurt, but she knew that might happen. After a year things had changed, some things were good, some not so much. Only time would tell if it were to be a good thing. But part of her knew it wouldn’t be as good as it could be without Luc around. But she had to give things a chance, didn’t she? Otherwise she’d find herself running away.
Eden Bourdon wanted someone to blame, but she couldn’t. There was no one to blame. But the one that she knew felt the most pain when she disappeared without telling anyone was Kris Letang. Being two years younger than Luc, meant she had no choice, but to go to his hockey games, but the fighting about having to go, stopped when she started to have a genuine interest in the sport. But during those times at the hockey rink she noticed how close the two boys were. Luc and Kris were the best of friends and it was a strong friendship.
So here she was in Pittsburgh after a year of no contact with him, she hoped that he would hear her out. She told her mother that she would talk to him and she wasn’t going to go back on her word. There was no way that she could. Her mother hadn’t told her if he had changed or if he was the same. The last time she saw him was at Luc’s funeral and that was emotional for everyone. She wondered if he had changed, things happen. He could have fallen in love and even started a family for all she knew. Many things could happen in a year, she was proof of that statement.
Trying to find a hockey player in the city wouldn't be the easiest thing, especially one that was quiet about places he liked to be. But knowing someone for a long time usually would give them an idea about where they would go. Looking up at the road, she slammed on the breaks as a fancy car cut in front of her without a warning. Glancing at the driver for a moment, she almost let it go, but then she saw who was behind the wheel of the car. It was the one she was looking for. Her brother’s best friend. He had someone in the passenger’s seat and she didn’t need to be told twice and she followed them. Not knowing how Kris would act when he saw her, made her slightly nervous. She knew she made her mother cry when she left without word and there were a few emails between them, but Eden couldn’t tell her where she was. It would have defeated the purpose of the trip.
In her time away from those who knew her best, Eden was a guest speaker about road safety, but that only lasted for a few weeks before it became too much for her to deal with. Since there was no one around to talk to about Luc, she used her laptop to write out her feelings. And that’s when she started to really write about the experience she had with losing the most important man in her life. Not knowing who her father was, Luc made sure that she didn’t need one and for that she was grateful. But he was gone and there were no more men in her life, but there was one she hoped could forgive her for her disappearing act.
Seeing him pull into the parking lot, she did the same thing. She parked as she watched him and a blonde guy got out of the car and walk into a book store. Taking a deep breath, she cut the engine and flipped her phone open. Staring back at her was a smile that no one would get to see again. Luc the night before his accident, it was at her new apartment. Luc’s girlfriend had taken the picture. “Give me strength, Luc.” Closing her phone she got out of the car, she shut the door and hit the alarm button as she started walking away and towards the store.
With each step she took to get closer, the more nervous she became. Thankfully, she could still see them. Wiping the sweat from her palms onto her jeans, she took another deep breath. The yellow long sleeved v-neck shirt was visible under her halfway zipped up white jacket. She saw the blonde guy smile at her as she went to move past him, but he moved into her way.
“Excuse me,” Eden said, knowing she needed to get past him in order to get to Kris. “I need to pass.”
“It looked like you were looking for someone,” he said still smiling at her. “Maybe I can help?”
“I was,” Eden told him. “And I don’t need help.”
“I’m Jordan,” he said sticking his hand out for her to shake. “Jordan Staal. And you are?”
“Eden Bourdon.”
The voice of Kris Letang, made her look to where he stood near where she was heading to. It seemed he had walked back in the time that Jordan had stopped her from following him. She heard the anger and the surprise in his voice. It was hard to hear that come from him. Kris had never so much as raised his voice or used any type of tone with her, so to hear the anger that seeing her caused him, she felt saddened by it.
“Bourdon?” Jordan asked.
Eden nodded her head as she looked down at her feet before closing her eyes as she felt the tears come to her eyes. She didn’t want to cry. Not in front of a stranger and not in front of Kris, especially not in front of Kris. He had seen her only one other time and that was during Luc’s funeral.
“She’s Luc’s sister.” Kris said, still staring at her.
Jordan knew that this had nothing to do with him and excused himself from the two. Opening her eyes, she looked at Kris and said the first thing that came to her mind. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Kris spat out at her. “Making your family and friends worry? For leaving and not telling anyone?”
“I didn’t mean for anyone to worry, but I’m not sorry for leaving,” Eden said. “It was something that I had to do. I didn’t come all this way after all this time to get in a fight with you over my actions.”
“Why are you here then?”
“My mom wanted me to extend an invitation to you,” Eden told him. “We are going to have a dinner in memory of Luc. She says you can invite your teammates for the larger dinner, but we are having a more personal one first.”
“Why now?”
“Because she doesn’t want it to interfere with your hockey, but she wanted to make sure if you wanted to come that you would be able to make it.”
“Are you going to be there or are you taking off for another year?”
“Just because you’re mad that I left and didn’t tell you or contact you, don’t think you can understand what was happening with me. There were many things that you didn’t know about. I had a promise to keep and I don’t break my promises.”
“What promise?” Kris asked, his tone less angry and more curious. “To who?”
“To Luc,” Eden said as the tears spilled from her eyes.
Wiping them away before they made it all the way down her face, she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She had been doing that a lot. Not wanting her emotions to take over, but sometimes she couldn’t help it. She wanted nothing more than to run to her brother and hold onto him as if it was the last time, but there was no such relief for her. He was gone, never to be there for her. The pain of his death ever present in her mind. While walking down the street, she’d see a motorcycle and she’d think of him and that would cause more tears. Looking into Kris’ eyes, she backed away from him. “I have to go.”
Turning around she had only made it a few steps when she felt a hand on her arm. She stopped and looked at him. Kris’ eyes had tears in them as well and he pulled her into his chest where she cried as he held onto her. “I miss him too.”
“He was too young, it’s not fair,” she said burying her face into his chest as she felt his hand rubbing her back. “He’s always supposed to be there for me and he’s not. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. It hurts so much, it’s been almost a year and it feels like it just happened.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But remember the good times. He hated when you were sad. It made him unhappy.”
“I want him back, so much,” Eden told him, gripping his shirt. “I want things to go back. When he was so happy.”
“He was happy,” Kris told her. “And he loved you, you have to know that.”
“I know, but it hurts too much,” she said. “Why would he leave me like this? Why Luc? He didn’t deserve what happened.”
“Edie, you know we can’t control that,” Kris told her. “If we could, he would be here telling us to stop crying over him and be happy. He loved seeing you happy. What made him happy was knowing you would be living close so he could keep an eye on you.”
“I want that so much right now,” she admitted. “I want him in my face about leaving and only talking to mom through email. I want him to yell and tell me what I was doing was reckless and stupid.”
“He was watching over you and made sure you were safe.”
With a heavy sigh, she regained her composure. Backing away from him she wiped her eyes. “Please say you’ll come to the dinner.”
“I’ll be there,” he told her. “How many people will be there?”
“Including you?” she asked. “Four at the small dinner.”
“Will you be there?” he asked.
“I will,” she promised. “And maybe afterwards we can talk?”
“We can talk now,” he suggested. “I can drop Jordan off and meet you somewhere?”
“I can’t,” Eden said. “I have to get some things done. I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that.”
“And I mean it,” Eden told him. “I’m not sorry for the things I’ve done, but I’m sorry how much pain I’ve caused you.”
“It wasn’t you,” Kris told her watching her. “It was how you did what you did. Knowing what you do now, putting us in that pain, would you change it?”
“Only if changing it could bring him back,” she said. “Otherwise, no. If I didn’t do it that way then I wouldn’t be standing here right now. I might not have come back at all. There was a lesson that I needed to learn.”
“You didn’t have to go through everything alone.”
“Yes I did,” she said, breaking eye contact. “But I have to go.”
“How do I get in touch with you?”
“Use your phone,” Eden grinned. “My number hasn’t changed at all.”
“I’ve missed you Eden,” Kris told her. “But I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“You’ll have to learn how to,” she told him. “And I’m willing for that to happen.”
“How much time do you have?” he asked. “How long are you in Pittsburgh for?”
“I’m here for awhile,” she said. “That gives me plenty of time. I’ll see you soon Kristopher.”
With a last glance at him, she walked away from him and out of the store and to her car. She understood where he was coming from, about why he didn’t trust her. It hurt, but she knew that might happen. After a year things had changed, some things were good, some not so much. Only time would tell if it were to be a good thing. But part of her knew it wouldn’t be as good as it could be without Luc around. But she had to give things a chance, didn’t she? Otherwise she’d find herself running away.
♠ ♠ ♠
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