You Only Get One Shot Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

“So…” I hopped up on the counter and looked at Brendon who was sitting on the chair at the little table in our kitchen. Hayley had left to her room as soon as she saw Brendon in the kitchen and she gave me a nudge and wink on the way out. Now I heard the bathroom door close and the water to the shower start which meant I had at least ten minutes to talk to Brendon with a guarantee of Hayley not eavesdropping.

“So…” Brendon mimicked me. I tore my eyes away from my socks and looked at down at him from my position on the countertop. When I didn’t say anything, Brendon started, “Okay, so I know you probably think I am a major creep right now, but let me just start out, I thought you guys would be sleeping in the living room because your beds aren’t put together sooo, that’s why I came in really quiet. And--”

“Wait, how did you get a key?”

“Ryan…”

“And Ryan got one how?”

“Hayley gave him one.”

I shook my head, “Of course. Anyway, continue,” I waved him on.

“Like I was saying, I thought you two would be asleep so I entered really quietly and I didn’t hear anything, until I looked over to the couch and I saw you two hugging a-and you were crying. So I felt really awkward and I really didn’t know what to do so I just stood there. And then I heard you two my name and Hayley started ranting and well, I kind of just started listening.” Brendon seemed to get nervous, which was weird, because I have never seen Brendon nervous before, not even the morning we woke up next to each other. “Then you guys started to get into, like, a deep conversation so I thought I would just go into the kitchen and then I knocked over some boxes and yeah, it just became a mess so I darted in here.”

I looked at him with my eyebrows wrinkled for a couple moments, “That makes sense I guess,” I concluded. A smile formed on my face, “Wait, why were you here in the first place?”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat, “Spencer found some extra plates that his parents didn’t need and gave him a long time ago so I thought I would bring them over quick since, you know, what happened earlier and I thought you guys would to eat,” Brendon shrugged and he started scratching the back of his neck, uneasy.

I don’t know why, maybe because I thought it was amusing to see Brendon stutter and trip over himself in anxiety, or because I didn’t know what to say to this awkward situation, but mostly I think it was because I was covering up my nervousness of Brendon hearing about what Hayley and I were talking about. Whatever reason it was, or all of it, I started laughing.

Brendon raised his eyebrow at me and sat their dumbfounded. I hopped down of the counter and made my way over to him, still chuckling slightly, and took a seat next to Brendon at the table. I heard the bathroom door close shut and Brendon and I both paused in question. Then I heard Hayley’s footsteps make her way to her room at the end of the hall and her door opened, then closed.

Hayley’s shower didn’t take as long as I expected, and now it was completely silent. There was no background noise, the shower’s ambiance had stopped and there was nothing to fill the calm. Brendon felt the awkwardness, and coughed.

“Emily?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you really scared of me?” I was actually taken aback by this question, and I had no idea what to say to that.

“What? Bren, I’m not scared of you. I could never be scared of you!”

“Well, then why did you say you were scared of me?” It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about, but then I recalled mine and Hayley’s conversation earlier.

“Brendon, you didn’t hear the whole conversation,” I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him I was scared and I didn’t want to get hurt. But I also wanted to tell him how I was falling for him and how all I wanted to do was let him hold me in his arms and never let me go, I wanted him to love me and I wanted to love him. “Bren, I don’t expect you to understand this, but I’ll try to explain it to you,” I readied myself to enlighten Brendon on everything I told Hayley earlier, but before I could I felt Brendon’s finger shush my lips.

“Emmy,” I smiled, that name still got me, “I understand. I get that you’re apprehensive, I do but, Emily, Hayley probably told you the same thing I will, not everyone is like you think. Some people are actually respectable and if you give them a chance you’ll see what you’ve been missing all those years you cried yourself to sleep.” I smiled weakly, he understood. “I’m not going to lie; I really like you, Emmy and well, I think you need to take a chance and that chance should be me.”

I looked at him in silence for a few moments, “I think that had to have been the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard.” I tried to stay serious but finally my mouth broke into a smile and laughed. Brendon chuckled at himself, flipped his hair and showed his toothy grin.

We sat their for a couple minutes just laughing at each other and making jokes, but then Brendon brought out the tickling. He poked my side once, twice, three times. Then he started tickling me all over my stomach and I fell out of my chair laughing involuntarily, begging for mercy.

He finally stopped, probably because he thought I might get hurt with all my limb flailing. I opened my eyes and found my self on the ground on my side curled in a defense ball. My abs hurt from laughing but that didn’t stop me from chuckling as I stood up.

I looked over at the stove and saw it was a little past midnight. “I better be off to bed, I have to wake up early and finish sorting this shit. I motioned to the empty boxes with the contents that were supposed to be in them that were on the floor. We made our way to the door to depart.

“Um, why don’t you keep the key? I’ll knock next time.” He joked and winked at me, I smiled up at him, then bent down to the stack the empty boxes that Bren knocked over earlier. Brendon opened his arms and I stepped into them.

I whispered into his shoulder as we hugged, “Thanks Brenny, thank you so much.”

He whispered back, “Any time Emmy.” We broke apart and I itched my nose then he flicked my nose, “Hey, cheer up! Someone’s thinking about you!”

“What?” I looked at him skeptically.

“Yeah, whenever you itch your nose it means someone is thinking about you,” he smiled proudly at himself. I laughed and kissed his cheek.

“Goodnight,” I turned on my heel and headed for my room, but before I took a step he grabbed my arm and spun me into him, catching my lips on his. It hurt at first, from our lips crashing into the other rather hard, but soon I forgot about the pain and became lost in the kiss.

Brendon’s lips were as soft as I remembered them and his touch was as gentle as I remembered, and this time I didn’t pull away. Brendon put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. Our hips were slightly pressed together and I felt Brendon smile under my lips. I tightened my arms around his skinny waist as I was pressed to the wall, and Brendon latched one of his hands in my hair and the other had a firm grip on my side. Even though our kiss only lasted a dozen seconds or so, it was more than I could’ve wanted or imagined.

Our lips detached and I was left breathless. “Goodnight,” Brendon whispered in my ear and then he left without a sound, leaving the romance still lingering in the air.

As I wandered back to my room, I felt as light as a feather and as I made my way into the bathroom I was completely overjoyed. I took out my contacts, washed my face, brushed my teeth and fixed up my eyebrows a little. Even the sting of plucking my eyebrows couldn’t faze me. As I made my way towards my room with sheets in hand, I saw movement in Hayley’s doorframe. I peeked into her room and I saw her laying on her made up bed, ‘sleeping’. I laughed silently to my self and closed her door, making my way back to my room. I laid out my blankets on the floor to make a bed, and then made a note to myself to get my bed frame put together tomorrow.

I was in the stage where you are almost asleep but not quite conked out yet, so any noise could pull me out of my sleep. I heard my door creek and saw Hayley’s figure make her way towards me and lay down beside me with her pillow. She pulled some blankets off me so we could share, “You bitch!” she joked and I laughed as I rolled so I was facing her. “Sooo… what happened?!”

“Like you don’t know, you sleuth!” we both laughed this time, “You heard the whole thing, miss eavesdropper.”

“No, never! Fine, yes, but can you say HOT?!” I rolled my eyes. “That was the steamiest kiss I have ever seen!” I laughed at her; I think she was almost as excited as me. I rolled back over and waiting for sleep to take over me. Hayley continued, “How was it?”

I was almost asleep and mumbled, “Amazing,” and I drifted off with a smile plastered to my face.

This night had shown me more than I could have seen on my own. It proved to me that advice really helps and I don’t think I would have learned without my friends. I finally figured something out, not everything revolves around me. Now, I’ve never said that I need to be the center of attention but I recognize that I think about myself too much and I need to put other’s feelings into consideration. It’s kind of a thing a mom would say to her little daughter, but in my defense, I never really had a ‘mom’ just someone who I lived with most of the time who I called mom. So I guess I was taught the lesson a five year old child is supposed to be taught at age 19.

I’m glad Hayley knocked some sense into me today, even though it hurt like hell (not literally). All I can do is think about Brendon and what I can’t stop doing is think about Brendon. You know that feeling you get when you think like your life is just right and everything is going your way? That’s what I’m feeling right now. Good thing I’m impulsive and don’t look too deep into the cracks because I’m far from perfect right now. I might have gotten the Brendon ‘problem’ figured out, but I certainly don’t have my mom situation, dad situation, money situation, or most importantly, the Jon situation figured out. I guess my bed isn’t the only thing that will need some putting together and fixing tomorrow.