Skylines and Turnstiles

Gerard’s P.O.V.
I’ve now been home for quite a while. I just can’t bring myself to call Frank and end it....Every time I come close I can’t do it. I’m so in love with Frank and this hurts so much. I look down to my wrist, cleaning all the dry blood off it with a cloth. Besides Frank this is the only way I know to receive the pain. So what do I do when the cure becomes the reason?
I have to do this. I can do this. I can and I will. I pick up my phone and type Frank’s number. I’m about to press send when suddenly my phone starts ringing. It’s Frankie. Looks like he beat me too it.
“Hello?” I asked nervously.

“Gee, it’s Frank, I’ve made my choice,” he told me sounding somewhat nervous. I so wanted to know the answer but I couldn’t I had to end it now!
“Wait Frank, don’t tell me, there’s something I have to say,” I said, tears running from my eyes.
“Is everything okay Gee?”
“No not really, just let me say this while I still have the guts.” I paused and breathed in, preparing myself on what I was about to say. “I can’t do this anymore Frankie; we’re hurting Mikey, Kenzi and we’re hurting me. I can’t do this to Mikey. And I don’t know if I can do this to me either. I love you Frankie, who makes this a lot harder, but we have to end this.” Frankie didn’t say anything for a long time.
“Say something?”
“What the fuck am I supposed to say!” He yelled, I heard tears escape his eyes.
“I’m sorry, It’s better off this way you’ll see,” Even I didn’t believe myself right now.
“I’m sorry I wasted your time, oh and by the way, I chose you, goodbye Gerard,” that was the last I heard of Frank Iero’s voice. He chose me. I can’t believe it. I just sat there gobsmacked. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Frank wanted to be with me and I’ve gone and told him to fuck off...What the fuck have I done? I’m a fucking idiot! I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself! I couldn’t think straight and my vision was blurred by tears. I needed to relieve the pain, forget everything. Forget Frankie; forget about my father and what he’s done. Just forget everything that’s fucked in life.
I walk over to my dresser and attempt to locate the hidden item. Once I’d found it, I walked over to my desk and set up a line. As quickly as I had put the line on the table in was gone. I instantly felt better. The thrill made everything seem better. I did a few more lines of the white substance before walking over to my bed and lying down. I drifted into a peaceful sleep. I wish this feeling would last forever.
--
“Gee? Gerard?” I heard a muffled voice. I couldn’t understand who it is as I was still half asleep.
“Gerard come on, wake up I have to talk to you!” Mikey nudged me.
“Mike’s now isn’t a good time.”
“Gerard what have you done?”
“What do you mean?” Fuck Frank didn’t tell him did he?
“I thought you were passed the whole ‘relying on drugs’ phase, its killing you Gerard.”
“How did you know?”
“Your eyes, now tell me what’s up? This isn’t healthy, is it you and Zee?” Mikey asked me very concerned.
“I’m fine Mikey, its nothing you’ll understand, now what did you want to talk about?” I asked him. Mikey never went any further than that. He knew that if I didn’t want to tell him I wouldn’t. He’s learnt to drop it.
“It’s Frankie, he wasn’t himself today, he was so depressed, He hardly said two words and when I said I loved him he didn’t say it back. I just think there is something wrong. He doesn’t look at me the same anymore or kiss me the same. I can’t figure out what’s wrong,” Mikey told me, a single tear falling from his eye. Helping Mikey with his relationship problems with the man I love is going to kill me but Mikey’s my brother. I have to do this. It’s all for him.
“Mike’s just talk to him, that’s all you can do okay, go see him,” I told him mainly because I wanted him out the house. I wanted some time to myself.
“Your right, thanks Gee, and remember, if you ever need I’m here for you.”
“I know, thank you, but this is something I have to do alone.” Mikey smiled at me as he left my room. I can’t help but to hate him a little bit. I love Mikey to bits! He’s my best friend and my saviour, but I just can’t stand him so happy with Frank. It’s going to slowly kill me.