Skylines and Turnstiles

Bury me in love
Bury me in love

Shared your kisses, take your heart
Buried me and it hurts.

I awake to the soothing sound of smashing pumpkins blaring out of my speakers. Frankie’s favorite band. There was something comforting about them.

I turn to my bedside table to see that its 4pm. I don’t like going to bed at a reasonable time, I prefer keeping myself busy until I drop, bed is the only place I can’t escape my head, my thoughts.

I decide its best I show my face; the more I hide the more people are going to catch on, another counselor. Just what I need right now.
I step out of my dark room and into the lounge room where my mum is watching her cooking shows.

“Nice of you to show yourself, Gerard,” my mum commented, smiling at me before continuing. “Are you okay?” No actually I’m heart broken.

“Of course mum, I’m just, uh, having problems with Kenzi at the moment.” I lied.

“Well she’s in Mikey’s room at the moment; maybe you should try talking to her, she said she had something important to talk to him about but I’m sure he won’t mind if you steal her away for 5 minutes.” Oh no, she wasn’t going to tell Mikey about Frank and I was she?

Without another word I smiled at mum and walked towards Mikey’s room.
The second I walked in the room went silent.

“Kenzi, can I talk to you?” I asked hesitantly. Kenzi followed me out of Mikey’s room and into mine.

“Gerard what’s going on? Where’s Frank?” Even hearing his name made me want to cry.

“I-I don’t know, he won’t answer my calls or texts. I haven’t spoken to him since the night I-” I stopped myself knowing that would piss Kenzi off.

“The night you what, Gerard?”

“The night I spent at- F-Frankie’s house, the night before they broke up,” I muttered nervously knowing she’d be furious. I saw her turn a bright shade of red.

“Seriously what is your problem Gerard! That’s why they broke up, how could I be so stupid?” Kenzi yelled in a tone so I only I would hear
.
“If that was why they broke up why would I be so heart broken right now? Frankie obviously doesn’t want anything to do with us or he’d contact one of us!”

“Gerard, Mikey loves him, it’s your fault your brothers heart is broken!”

“Oh whatever Kenzi! We both know you’re happy those two broke up, now you can weasel your way back in there! Well I have news for you ‘sweetheart’, he doesn’t want you! He always used to tell me, breaking up with you was the best thing he ever did so FUCK YOU!”
I saw tears well up in Kenzi’s eyes. I think I went too far this time.

“If that’s what you think, then fine, you obviously don’t need my help anymore, consider us broken up.”

“Kenzi, wait.” She hesitantly turned around. I saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

“What Gerard?”

“Please don’t tell Mikey.” She looked at me positively disgusted. Before turning towards the door once again.

“I won’t tell Mikey, I don’t think he can take it at the moment, your disgusting Gerard.” Was all she said before slamming the door shut. Once she left I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I suddenly burst into tears. Kenzi is right, I am disgusting. I need to forget about Frankie. For Mikey.

I decided to leave one last voice message on Frank’s phone, because once I do, I’m deleting Frankie from my phone, my memory, my life.

I shakily dial in Frank’s number. It takes all my strength to hit call, I knew it would be the last contact I have with my angel.

I got the message tone, his phone must be off.

“H-hey Frankie, I don’t know if you’re getting any of these messages but if you are, then there I just need you to know, I love you, no matter what. Goodbye my angel.”

There it was. My last phone call to Frankie. This is for you Mikey.