I Hate Alex Gaskarth

Alex's POV

I watched as Marcy laid sleeping in that hospital bed. It was midnight and I knew this was all over for me...I leave in four days for the starting of the tour. School was over for good and I had no fucking clue what life had in store for me next. I really did want to stay with Marcy but I didn't want to stick around in Baltimore and waste my life away trying to find a damn good job that pays well. I already have one.

Being on stage...is what I live for. I couldn't just give up this huge chance for her...Although a part of me desperately wanted to I just couldn't do it. This was just some wasted romance...the only thing that brought us together was...her...

I leaned down and pressed my lips softly up to Marcy's warm forehead and put some of her hair behind her ear. I then headed toward the door.

I started walking slowly outside of her room and down the empty, lonely hallway. I walked up to the sign that said...

Nursery ->

I gulped and walked slowly ahead and around the corner. My eyes scanned the nursery. All I saw was boys in blue blankets...No pink ones. My heart started pounding up against my chest. And then I saw her...in the middle of that nursery with her pink cap on her head and that light pink blanket wrapped around her tiny little fragile body.

I pressed my palm up against the glass as tears filled my eyes. To think I made that precious little baby inside that glass...I couldn't believe it. I was a dad.

I'm a dad.

I turned away from the nursery and went around the corner and stood up against the cold hallway wall. I slid down it and placed my head in my hands as I shook my head and started to sob.

I'm a dad.

Those words continued to repeat over and over again in my head. I just couldn't bring myself to believe it...I'm only nineteen years old and I'm a fucking father. I'm just going to let that little girl slip away from my reach? I couldn't do that. I couldn't let Marcy...give her away.

I laid my head on my arm and thought to myself. How could Marcy let that precious little thing go? I know it was hard of her to let go...but Senior year is over and she could have kept it. I could keep it...if I really wanted to.

But what about tour? What about my life? What about Marcy?

I let tears slowly go down my cheeks as I wiped them away quickly and rolled my eyes. This was so confusing. I should've of just worn a fucking condom and maybe none of this would've happened! Fuck!

I feel so bad for that little girl inside the nursery. If she gets adopted she'll never know who her real mom and dad was...Marcy and I.

She'll never have her true dad by her side when she wakes up with a bad dream or falls off her bike. Or she'll never have her real mom when she is having boy problems at school or some kind of shit like that.

I stood up off the floor and walked slowly back over to the glass window to see a nurse in pink scrubs going around checking all the babies. I continued to stare at that one little baby wrapped in pink. She was the only thing that caught my eye.

The middle aged nurse looked up at me and gave me a half smile as I sniffed and hoped she didn't notice that I was crying like a fucking weak faggot.

She pointed down to my baby as I nodded slowly. She curled her finger towards her as I walked inside the nursery and slowly up to the nurse who stared down at my baby.

"Would you like to hold her?" She asked me as I gulped and nodded slowly. She pulled up a chair that was sitting aside by the counter and made me sit down in it.

"Here you go." She smiled handing me her. as I stared down at her as she squirmed in my arms. I held onto her tight. I didn't ever want to let go.

"I'll give you a minute." The nurse said walking out as I muttered a 'thank you' to her.

The nursery was silent as I continued to stare down at that baby girl wrapped in pink. I took off her pink cap as her dark brown hair stuck up from the static. I smiled and ran my index finger over the tuffs of hair gently.

She looked so much like Marcy in a way. Marcy is so sweet and innocent. Just thinking about her brings a smile to my face.

All of a sudden she slowly opened her eyes...they were brown.

My mouth parted slightly as she closed them again and stretched, her tiny hand brushing up against mine.

I smiled and put her little pink cap back on.

I was scared to move her too much. She looked as if she were made of glass and if you touched her at all she would break.

I licked my dry lips and continued to stare down at her, completely fascinated by her.

I couldn't let her go...