Missing in Action

The amount of tension between me and everyone else could have been cut with a knife, a butcher knife. No one knew what to say to me. No one even knew what to call me. They didn’t ignore that I was there; no on the contrary they stared at me whenever they thought that I wasn’t looking. The amount of staring and awkwardness made me feel uneasy.

Here I was with a group of people that I was to call family, and I knew nothing about them. Not to mention the fact that they knew nothing about me. They only knew two things, my name and my birthday. This was hardly enough for someone to consider themselves family.

In fact, I felt as if I was on the same page as them. I hardly knew anything about me anymore. My name, the term that was used to identify me, meant nothing anymore. The past fifteen years of my life had been a lie.

Did everyone to expect me to simply ignore that important fact? Did they want me to simply move on as if nothing happened? Was I supposed to smile and wave at everyone that I saw? Was I supposed to go back to being myself as if I actually knew myself?

The airport was insane. LAX tends to have more reporters than the average airport but today was ridiculous. We needed my bodyguards, Big Rob, and a police barrier in order to get inside. The airport couldn’t even allow the reports inside today, there was just too many of them.

I felt as if I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to crawl into a corner and cry until all of my problems went away. Hearing everything that the reporters were screaming at me was almost too much to bear.

Are you going to press charges against your kidnapers?

Are you going by Viola or Gabriella now?

Are you going to let your hair go back to normal now?

How is everything affecting you now?

Are you considering counseling?

I didn’t want to deal with this. Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t I simply have continued living my lie? My parents could have taken this secret to the grave.

This was completely my fault. If I hadn’t wanted to sing so badly then I wouldn’t have gone for that interview. I wouldn’t have met the Jonas’. I wouldn’t have known that my entire life was a lie. I could have lived in complete bliss, ignorance is bliss.

I remained silent. I didn’t say a word to anyone, and vice versa. I blinked back the tears and pulled down my shades. When my eyes began to water, no one could see them.

Everyone tried to live in their own world. Mr. Jonas was talking on the phone to Mrs. Jonas the entire time. I hadn’t begun to call them mom and dad. That would simply be too painful for me to do in my state of mind right now.

Kevin was either talking to Nick, Big Rob, or Joe. He didn’t say much when he did talk. Kevin probably stared at me the most. Being the older brother I guess that he was more traumatized by what had happened.

Joe hardly said anything to anyone unless he was spoken too. Joe didn’t bother to hide how many times or how often he stared at me. He was studying me to see how I was holding up. If it wasn’t for my sunglasses I knew that he would have seen the tears that brimmed my eyes.

Nick was completely different from everyone. He hadn’t looked at me once. He didn’t say anything to me, or even acknowledge that I was there. He wasn’t ignoring me he just…didn’t give me any attention.

He was in thought. Whenever someone would say something to him he would snap out of his trance before taking a moment to reply. Nick was the only one who I hadn’t heard say anything about what was going on.

I simply assumed that he didn’t care. There wasn’t anything else for me to assume about him.

I was thankful that we were on a private plane. I didn’t want anyone staring at me, or trying to talk to me during the plane ride. All I wanted to do was sleep. I wanted to sleep away my problems. Or at least I wanted to try to sleep them away. I knew that they would return once I woke up.

I sat down on the plane next to a window. I could care less about where I was sitting, just as long as I could sleep.

The empty seat next to me was soon taking by Joe, though I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t bother to look at him. I pushed my shades further onto my nose as I sat there. I stared out the window as the awkward silence that was between everyone, shifted to me and Joe.

I didn’t know how long we sat there in the silence, but it was a while. Eventually Joe decided to break the silence between us.

“So…” I turned my head to face him. My lips were still in a straight line and a bored expression was still on my face.

“How much does a polar bear weigh?” he questioned.

My face twisted itself in confusion. I raised my brow as I stared at him.

We hadn’t said to words to each other. We hadn’t said anything to each other and the first thing that he says when he decides to talk is how much does a polar bear weigh. This was an interesting way to start a conversation.

I shrugged my shoulders as I stared at him. “How should I know? Polar bears aren’t exactly my favorite animals,” I spoke. “So how much does a polar bear weigh Joe?”

The corners of his lips turned upwards in a smile as he stared at me. “Enough to break the ice,”

My lips slowly turned upwards into a smile. Before I knew it I found myself giggling at Joe’s comment. I threw my head back as my giggles turned into laughter.

Everyone turned to look at me but I hardly noticed. I was too busy laughing at Joe to care. I clutched my stomach as I began to calm down. I turned to look at Joe, a smile still etched onto my face.

“That was soo cheesy that I’m surprised that it worked,” I spoke.

“Cheesy is the best. Everything’s better when it’s cheesy,” he spoke. His smile had grown wider as he spoke.

I giggled once more. “I’ll give you credit though, I haven’t heard the one before,”

“It’s a Joe Jonas original,”

“How long did it take you to come up with it then?”

“…I never give away my secrets,”

I giggled as I shook my head. “So what is your favorite animal?” he questioned.

“Hm?” I questioned, confused.

“Your favorite animal, you said it wasn’t polar bears so what is it?”

I couldn’t help but to smile at his question. It wasn’t so much that he asked the question, it was something completely different.

It was the simple fact that he wanted to know what my favorite animal was. He wanted to get to know me better. He wanted to actually consider himself my family rather than just sharing a last name. He wanted to know more about me than my name and my birthday. He truly wanted to be family.

I continued to smile as I stared at him.

“It’s a tie between a Tiger and a puggle,”

Joe raised his brow as he stared at me. His face twisted in confusion. “A puggle?”

I nodded my head. “It’s a cross between a beagle and a pug. Some people call them bugs but bugs are disgusting. I hate bugs,”

The plane ride basically consisted of me talking to Joe. Joe got to know me better and I him, though something’s I already knew. He told me more cheesy jokes and simply things that would make me laugh.

Joe made me forget about everything that had happened today so far. He made me think that maybe having a new family wouldn’t be so bad.

I started to trust Joe. I started to like the idea of having him as an older brother. I liked the idea of having him around more often. I could actually begin to see him as a brother.

I didn’t know how long we talked or how long we laughed but I knew that it started to make me tired. Eventually I ended up drifting to sleep with my head on Joe’s shoulder.

My brother’s shoulder.