The Rev That Saved Me

I think you should at least put on pajama bottoms. Jimmy said when I went into the bathroom.

I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t even want to see him, and I’m the person who freaks out when he randomly leaves… Is this where he goes when he disappears from my side? Did he hate me because I was the reason he couldn’t be near his wife as much as he could’ve… Would I had done him a favor if I had followed Lois?

Chicky-poo… What’s wrong? I turned away from his pleading eyes. He wanted to know so bad, but I couldn’t tell him I was regretting almost everything. Eve? I turned away from him and started to take off my shirt. I smiled when he turned around immediately. Eve, what the fuck is wrong with you? You never ignore me, even if you’re mad at me you still at least look at me when I’m talking to you. Jimmy raised his voice and I flinched a little.

“I just don’t want to be near you right now.” I mumbled, barely above a whisper, afraid of him hearing me. Suddenly he grabbed my arm and turned me towards him.

Why not? What happened? I was down stairs hanging with the guys to let you and Leanna get to know each other and I come up here and she’s on the verge of crying, does cry, and you’re, like, being bipolar. Did you guys get your periods and I just wasn’t informed? He asked while squeezing my arm.

“You’re hurting me.” I said looking away from his hurt expression. He loosened his grip but still held my arm.

Eve, what’s wrong? His voice pierced my heart when I thought of Leanna crying while saying she was lonely.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled before he dropped my arm.

As you wish. With that he vanished into… nothing. No smoke or any of his dramatic exits.

“Eve!” Leanna yelled as she rushed into the bathroom. “What’s wr…” She stopped as she looked at me. I looked down to see why she would suddenly stop when I saw that I had no shirt on. “How did you get those bruises and scars?” She questioned as I covered my body with a towel.

“It’s nothing.” I lied as I turned to face the mirror. “I need to get dressed before I catch a cold.”

“Fine, but we’re talking when you’re done getting dressed.” I nodded as she walked out of the room.

“Shit.” I muttered as I quickly put on my borrowed clothes. I pissed off Jimmy and let Leanna see something that I didn’t want anyone to see. Today was not turning out to be a good day for me at all.

I took my time as I thought of the lies to tell her. I could say that I was just a klutz and had fallen too many times, but the bruises had the lining of knuckles and footprints. I could tell her I used to get in a lot of fights, it was somewhat the truth. I felt my body shake slightly as I thought about actually telling her the truth. If Jimmy had chosen her then she was sure to be nice and understanding. She wouldn’t chase me out or yell at me for lying.

“Oh god.” I sobbed out as I realized that I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I’ve had them many times in the past, each one bad, but for the past year I haven’t had one so I didn’t grab my inhaler before leaving New York. I was screwed if I had one now. “Shit.” I muttered before sitting with my back to her white porcelain tub and putting my head between my knees. I felt the warm liquid stinging my eyes before it ran down my cool cheeks. It felt like my face had a trail of fire running down it and onto my hands.

I felt a pair of eyes boring into my body as I tried to control my convulsions. I could only think of two people who would have their eyes on me so strongly, but only one of the two would actually help me stand at this point. I could tell it wasn’t Leanna because she’d probably be freaking out… But I couldn’t bring myself to think it was Jimmy in front of me.

“Eve!” Leanna shouted before wrapping her arms around me. “Are you okay?” My reply was a simple sob as more tears poured down. I felt like a bitch for wishing that Jimmy would only be near me, that he would choose me over his own wife if he was forced to. “Hey! Someone help me!” She shouted and I grabbed her arm.

“N-no.” I stuttered as I heard footsteps going into the bathroom. I was thankful that I had gotten full dressed at this point. I didn’t want more people to know about the markings on my body. “J-just get me a b-bag to b-breath in.” I wheezed out. Not even five minute later I was breathing into the bag Johnny had the forty’s in.

“Guys, I need to talk to her alone.” Leanna said and the girls dragged away their lovers, and Brian and Johnny. She checked to make sure they were gone before walking back to me and sitting down on the bathroom floor. “Okay, talk.” Her order was laced with a mother’s concern and I almost started crying again.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered before looking at her. “Just… Please don’t send me back to New York.” I begged and she nodded. “They were from my brothers… Stepbrothers. My mom got remarried three years ago and she’d let her husband and them hit me. I’ve been in and out of hospitals over the years… Well, not really hospitals… It was me just going over to my room and, if it was minor, bandaging myself. I was always beaten up on… They even raped me. But I couldn’t tell anyone because the sons all had respectable jobs; lawyer, doctor, and a cop who would believe me?” I asked with a whisper. She stayed silent and I took that as a chance to continue. “If I didn’t run away… I’d be dead right now.” I took off my gloves and let her see them. Her gasp filled the room as she grabbed them and rubbed the wound gently. I winced with every touch. “My hands for my life… I think it was an even trade off… But now…” I trailed off not telling her that I wish I had died instead because Jimmy was right there, watching us and glaring at me.

“You’re so strong.” She said before hugging me. It was weird to be hugged by a woman, I mean, my mother barely hugged me in the last four years and no one else but Lois even attempted. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” She whispered and I broke down. All the years worth of pent up emotions had finally let themselves loose as I hugged her back and cried. It was so good to tell someone, living, about this. Angel only guessed but telling someone with my own mouth and words… It helped me so much more than anything, the hug helped too.