Dear Katy

“I wish they would keep me here longer.”, I pouted as I folded my last piece of t-shirt before putting it into the suitcase. “I don’t want you guys to go to back yet.”

“Aw, Katy. We’re going to stay at Zack’s anyway.”, Aubrey smiled.

“Yeah, so we can’t keep a good eye on you!”, Dexter exclaimed.

I grinned and tackled them into a hug. “Awe, guys!”

“What is this hugging all about?”, Serena suddenly stood on the doorway, with a bag of chips in her hand. “I want to join!”

She ran onto us and tackled all of us into a hug. We laughed in unison. It reminded me how I would survive without these girls. We pulled away and there was a knock on the door.

“Hey, guys.”, A blond walked in with a paper bag in her hand. “Katy! You’re awake.”

I nodded slightly. “I already awake for three days, Sara.”

“It’s so good to see you moving!”, she embraced me in a tight hug. “Alex told me everything.”

“Alex…told you about me?”

“Yeah, you made me so worried!”

Serena and Dexter scoffed quietly together, and they walked out from my room, followed by Aubrey on their trails.

“What are you doing here, Sara?”

“Well, I’m visiting my best friend, is that a crime?”, she said sweetly as she placed the paper bag on the coffee table. “I brought you something.”

I raised a brow and sat on the couch. “What?”

“Here you go!”, Sara pulled out a chocolate bunny from the paper bag. “These things always remind me of you!”

“Wow, thanks, Sara.”, I took the chocolate bunny as she handed it to me.

She waved it off with a simple ‘no problem’ then she sat down across me. “Actually, Kate, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

I looked up from the chocolate bunny and tilted my head to the side. “What is it?”

She fidgeted and played with her fingers. “I wanted to ask you…is it okay, if…”

“If…”

“If Alex and I go out.”

“Go out?”

“I meant, is it okay with you if Alex and I are together.”

Then, it hit me. Just yesterday, Alex and I made promises to each other, a promise to keep our hearts for each other. My free fingers caressed the heart shaped lock carefully.

“Katy? You okay?”, Sara asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

I shook my head a bit. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“So…?”

“Did he ask you to be his girlfriend?”

“Well, we kissed—“

“You guys kissed?!”, I cut her off. “When!?”

“Last night. What is your problem, Katy?!”, she stood up, because of the rage that took her over. “You guys broke up two years ago, Katy, he doesn’t want you anymore!”

Tears started to melt out from my eyes and my hands balled up into knuckles. “Get out.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Get the fuck out!”, I pointed sharply to the door.

Sara stared at me with wide angry eyes, and then, she picked up her paper bag and stomped her way to the door. but before she could walk away too far, I picked up the chocolate bunny and threw it onto her head.

When the box made contact to her head, she turned around and just stared at me. she grunted and walked faster and out of sight when she turned left on the corner.
********
I slumped on the bench outside the balcony. My legs were pulled up onto my chest and I rested my chin on my knees.

There was an urge for me to break that lock and just threw it away, but some part of my heart was telling me that it was useless. What if Alex kissed Sara for real? not just for a cover of our little secret love?

The glass door slid open and I looked back from my shoulder. Paul stood on the doorway, with his acoustic guitar in his hand. I smiled a little and looked back to the view.

“Hey.”, he greeted quietly as he sat next to me.

“Hi.”

Suddenly, he pulled me closer and motioned me to lean my head on his shoulder, and I did. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m breaking your heart, Paul.”

He sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this again.”

I sat straight and stared at him with teary eyes. “Yes, we have to! I’m confused why didn’t you just, break up with me?! I’m breaking your heart!”

“It’s because I love you, Katy!”

My mouth shut and I stopped my rant. “I love you, Katy. I want to give this a chance, please. I want you to give me a chance.”

“I’ve tried, I’ve tried to forget about everything I had with Alex, but you know it’s too hard because he was my first love.”

“But I want to be with you, Katy. I want you to be mine, completely.”
We stayed in silent for a few minutes, until he strummed on his guitar. I’ve never heard this song, but I kept quiet.

“I asked Martin, can I sing this new song for you, and he said I can, cause’ he understand that you’re a special person to me.”

He took a breath and started to sing.

“So maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one”

When he was done, my arms already wrapped around him. I buried my face in his shoulder as tears started to fell down.

Millions of words danced around my mind. There were so many things I wanted to say to Paul, but it felt wrong on my tongue. “I’m sorry.”, that was the only words I could choked out.

He sighed and cupped my chin, making me looked up to him. “I’m sorry too, for forcing you and everything.”

I shook my head. “No, you weren’t. I’m the one who forces myself, I hurt you so bad.”

“Do you still want to give us a chance?”

Before answering, the thought of Alex, lying to me, about he’ll keep his heart only for myself, but he kissed Sara last night, filled my mind.

He lied to me. He lied to me and it hurts so much. Paul was kind of the antidote of my broken heart. When I was with Paul, some of the heartache heals, when there was a space in my heart where no one could heal it. But, I would spend the time I have with Paul, so he could show me that maybe he could heal my heart completely.

“Yes, I want to.”