Please Don't Forgive Me

I ran back to the bus forcing myself to hold in my tears. I refused to let him see me cry. I refused to look back and I refused to acknowledge his calls and footsteps close behind me. I didn’t stop running until I had finally locked myself in the tiny little bathroom on the bus. “Anika, please talk to me,” he pleaded. I refused to respond to him. “I overreacted.” I scoffed. No shit he overreacted.

“How dare you say something like that Garrett! That it was Kennedy’s?” I yelled loudly swinging the door open. “Just to let you know, it was really Dane’s.”

“I know that Ani,” he said annoyed. “You just could’ve told me if there was something going on between you and Kenny.”

“There’s nothing going on. There’s nothing to tell. That’s why I didn’t tell you anything. There was nothing.” I was getting aggravated and so was he.

“Oh, come on! I saw it in your eyes. You think I don’t know you well enough to see that you like him?”

“You obviously don’t know, because I don’t like him. Jesus, Garrett. You’re becoming impossible to deal with. You know what?” I yelled. “Why don’t you just say exactly what you want to tell me? Go ahead and say it!” I screamed at him.

“What is it that I want to say to you?” he asked so sure that I had no clue.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said venomously, “how about I give you a hint. It’s three words, eight letters.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said defensively.

“Oh come on. I heard you talking to John. You think I’m that stupid? It’s a pretty common phrase.”

“Fine. Do you want to hear what I have to say to you right now?” I nodded in reply. “I. Hate. You.” He paused between each word, adding more venom than I thought was possible.

“Oh yeah, because that’s really what you wanted to say to me. Because those are really the three words you wanted to tell me!” I yelled and I was losing my will.

“Right now, they are,” he said finally.

“You know what Garret? This is so typical of you. You chicken out. The difference between you and I is that I don’t. So if you won’t say it I’ll say it. I’ll say what I feel about you, if you won’t say it to me.” He had already walked off the bus, so there was no point in further embarrassing myself. John reached out to hug me and I just pushed him away. I started to gather all of my things around the bus and pack.

“Ana, what are you doing?” John asked quickly. “Come on. You know he’ll get over it in like a day.” I shook my head fiercely.

“He meant what he said,” my voice was low and my throat was dry. “I don’t know what I did, but he hates me.” I walked back into the bathroom and locked myself in there to make a phone call.

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“Where is she?” he asked when he got back on the bus. He walked toward the bathroom door and John stopped him. “What is she doing? Taking another pregnancy test?” he scoffed. From the noises I heard I could assume that John had punched him in the face.

“She’s been in there on the phone since you left. It doesn’t even sound like English, so I didn’t bother listening. I think she’s going back to Arizona.”

“Good.” I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my bag from the back lounge and my laptop from the couch. I went out to the back of the bus and got the rest of my stuff. I was going back to Arizona. I was done with this. We both needed time to cool off.