Please Don't Forgive Me

“Garrett,” I sighed looking down at my huge, swollen eight-and-a-half months pregnant stomach. “Please, I just feel like today isn’t a good day.” He lifted my head up and kissed me on the lips.

“Anika, you’ll have Mia here the entire time, and Hannah’s coming over later. And if anything happens we’re only a phone call and an hour flight away. Okay?” I nodded reluctantly and kissed him softly. “We’ll be back before you wake up tomorrow morning.”

“Alright, have fun. I love you,” I said as he pulled away.

“I love you too.” He turned and walked out into the hallway with the guys. I closed the door and turned to Mia. “What?” I asked. She was staring at me in a peculiar way.

“You just let him go? You’ve been having irregular contractions for the last hour and you didn’t even tell him?”

“It’s probably just false labor. I’m sure it isn’t really anything, Mia.” I sat down on the couch and picked up a magazine.

“False labor my ass,” she mumbled. I rolled my eyes and put the magazine down. “What?” she asked as I glared at her. “I’m just saying. If you go into labor and he isn’t here you can’t blame him.”

“Like he said, Mia, he’s a phone call away. I can’t really ask for much more. He has to do something other than sit around with me while I nest.” My nesting had manifested itself in the form of knitting and crocheting. I had made about a million and one things for the babies as well as a few blankets and scarves. It wasn’t like anyone needed them either. We were in freaking Arizona.

“But he should have stayed. What if he doesn’t get back in time?” I rolled my eyes at her and stretched out.

“Mia, it’ll all work out. He promised he’d be here, and I’m sure he’ll be here when it happens. And it isn’t going to happen today.” She rolled her eyes and turned toward the TV, picking up the remote.

We watched the show Friends on DVD for a few hours before I stood to get a drink. I was in the kitchen reaching for a glass when it happened; when my water broke. “Mia!” I yelled, my voice shaking. “Mia, call Garrett!” She came running into the kitchen, her own stomach starting to protrude slightly. “Mia, it’s time. Call Garrett.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital first, okay?” I shook my head. “Fine. I’ll call Garrett.” She
reached for her phone to dial his number. “He isn’t going to answer. They’re in the middle of an acoustic show.”

“He said he’d keep his phone on and with him. He’ll answer. He isn’t playing. He only has to play at their show tonight. Just try again if he doesn’t answer.”

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So Garrett hadn’t answered his phone on the first few tries and when he finally did he said he’d be on the next flight back to Arizona. He couldn’t get a flight for another five hours though. “Do you want more ice chips?” Mia asked. I nodded my head ‘yes’ and went back to counting the specks in the ceiling tile.

“When will he be here?” I moaned.

“In an hour and a half,” she replied. “He should be here before you get to the worst of it.” I groaned. The worst of it. I had experienced a few really horrible contractions already and this wasn’t anywhere near how it would be when I was ten centimeters. “Do you want to call him again before he boards the plane?” I nodded my head and she dialed his number and put the phone on speaker.

“Hey, I’m about to board, what’s up? Did I miss anything big?” I smiled just hearing his voice.

“No,” Mia replied. “She just needs your voice for support. It’s all that keeps her from going crazy.” I moaned as I felt my uterus contract again.

“Ani, come on, you can do this, I promise. I know you. You are so strong honey. I know you can. Just breathe, okay?”

“I’ve tried that Gar. It doesn’t work as well as they say it does.” I rubbed my stomach and looked up at the clock.

“I have to board. I’ll call you back after takeoff, I promise. I don’t want to miss my flight.”

“Alright. I’ll see you soon. And Garrett?”

“Yeah?” he asked softly.

“Please hurry. I need you.” I felt him smile through the phone and heard him say he would do his best before he hung up.

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“Mia, this is really bad,” I said throwing my legs over the edge of the hospital bed. I needed to move. This was getting bad. It was getting painful; I could feel the tears. “Mia, I can’t do this. It hurts so bad,” I moaned gripping the side of the bed. “I can’t do it. Mia get out while you still can.” She stifled a laugh and let me squeeze her hand. At least I thought it was her hand. My eyes had been closed so I didn’t see him walk in; I only knew it was him because I could feel the calluses on his fingertips.

“You can do this,” he whispered in my ear. “You can get through this Anika. You can.” I nodded slowly and opened my teary eyes. “We can do this, okay? I’m here to help you.” He kissed my sweaty forehead and helped me stand up.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I couldn’t do this without you Garrett.” He smiled and squeezed my hand for reassurance.

“Yes you could have,” he laughed. “You just didn’t want to.”

“No, I couldn’t have. Garrett, this hurts so badly. I’ve never been in this much pain. And they haven’t even started to make their way out yet. Oh god, I can’t do it.”

“Yes you can. Anika, don’t even think that you can’t because you can. You are the strongest woman I have ever met and I know you can do this.” I smiled weakly as another contraction hit. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could.

“Oh my god!” Garrett rubbed my back and talked me through it.

“Do you want me to ask the nurse to come in to see how far along you are?” I nodded and climbed back into bed. The nurse came in.

“Seven and a half centimeters. You’re lucky. You were already almost half way there when you came in. You were smart to wait it out. Some women come in here when they’re barely a centimeter and they’re stuck in here for twenty something hours. You should be good to go; to start pushing in maybe two hours.”

“Great,” I mumbled.

“It isn’t that bad.” I nodded and bit my lip. When she left the room I turned quickly to Garrett.

“She’s crazy,” I stated quickly. “She is absolutely insane if she thinks that this isn’t that bad.”

“Think about it. Two more hours and it’ll be almost over.” I groaned. I didn’t want to think about that part yet. I didn’t want to think about exactly how they were going to make their way out of me. If I didn’t think about it, then I couldn’t feel as much pain. If I couldn’t feel all of the pain then maybe I could really do this.