I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

Chapter 5 / But I wanna say, we’re getting closer every day.

The first thing I heard, when I woke up was the sound of running water.
I sat up, looking around, searching for a hint to remember where I was.
But lucky me had never seen this room before.

If you hadn’t noticed the ‘lucky’ was sarcastic.

The window was open and cool, nice air made its way into the room.
I lightly shivered, but in a comfortable way. The air was fresh and felt so good on my skin.

I let my legs slide down onto the ground and stood up. The parquet floor was cold, too, but not as cold as the breeze, that still played with my hair.
Slowly I let my feet slide over the lukewarm ground, making my way to the window.

I looked outside, still a bit sleepy but somehow fully awake.
The sky was coloured in a piercing azure-kind colour. Just as those skies I got to see on the TV.
I couldn’t see the sun, but even without I could see it wasn’t even afternoon.
Maybe around 11 pm, more or less.
I stuck my head out of the window to look into the blue coloured, wonderful sky.
How I love the sky. How I loved the colour.

It was such a lovely, happy colour. I felt like home, looking at the sky just like that.
I didn’t know where I was, or how I came here, but since long ago I finally felt save again.
Slowly I closed my eyes to feel the low breeze softly caress my skin. It made me feel alive; I had never felt something so intensive before.

“You’ll get a cold.” A person said from behind and I jumped.
Slowly I turned. My hair got blown into my face, but still I was so happy.
“I won’t.” I grinned, as I recognized Jace.
He was standing there in dotted boxers and a black tee, his hair still a tad wet.
He let himself fall onto the bed and grinned. “How did you sleep?” he asked, yawning.
I had to grin, it was hilarious.
“Fine, thanks.” I told him. “And you?”
I didn’t really care, but that moment I felt so good.
“Hehe,” he laughed. “I had to clean up ‘till half an hour ago, but the time I slept was great I suppose.”
I didn’t get that, but somehow I felt like I’d rather not ask any further.
It got silent and I was just standing there, enjoying the touch of the breeze, that still came in from the window.

“It suites you,” he laughed.
I looked down, not knowing what he meant, but just when I did I realized what he meant.
I was wearing a big black T-Shirt and a short pair of boyish shorts. I looked down, not knowing what to say.
“When did I dress like that?” my voice was hard, surprised the more.
Jace laughed. “What?” I asked, feeling silly for not remembering.
“You shouldn’t drink that much next time.” were his words as he sat up.
“You were drunk, last night, at the party. And I took you here.”
My eyes got big.
“A-as you t-took me here? What is ‘as you took me here’?”
Again he let out a soft giggle.

“You were too drunk and some guy tried to lay you, well, he tried to make you drunken to the extent of not getting what happens anymore.”

“And that guy? Was he … here, too?”
Jace shook his head. I felt relieved, really relieved.
“It was just you and I.” His smirk made me fear that something, I wouldn't have done when I were sober, happened.
“Y-You and I?” I repeated. Then I swallowed hard. “And what did ‘you and I’ do?”

I wasn’t able to look into his eyes; I wasn’t able to look at anything special but the floor.
“Well,… Let me start. First I took off your cloths,” his grin got wider. “You scratched my back so hard, that I still have wounds there.”
“Then I-“ – “It’s okay.” That information was enough for me.
“I can see I wasn’t by senses then…” he rolled his eyes.
“It was nothing special, you don’t have to worry.” He said and I looked into his eyes with a horrified expression.
“It was nothing; I’ve done this so often, you don’t have to worry.” He laughed.

My stomach turned.
“Yeah, right. I-I know, people often do that,… without feelings and such….”
My eyes slowly got wet and I blinked hard, to held them back.

“Wait,…” he stood up really fast. “What’s the matter?”
Jace’ voice was steady, serious. “Nothin’,” I said, “It’s nothin’.”
He rolled his eyes and stroke away the tear that ran down my cheek.
“Please, don’t be mad. I didn’t want to hurt you. If I had known that, I would have let you sleep in that dress, but it looked so… uncomfortable.”
I looked up.
“What do you mean?” my voice was unsteady.
“What do I mean? Well, I didn’t know you hated sleeping in my cloths so much. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings…” he seemed puzzled.
“Changed…?”
“Changed…?” he repeated.
“We hadn’t had… sex?”
His sad expression fell. “Oh my god…”
I looked up, he was way taller than I was. “What is it?”
His look got serious. His eyes were right looking into mine.
“You…Did you truly think I was that kind of guy, taking a drunken girl to bed?”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I mean, I was just…” My voice faded away.
I was still so dizzy in my head, my cheeks still wet.
And he gave me such a serious look, it just made me cry even harder.
I couldn’t help it, but somehow everything was to much so early in the morning.

I took a deep breath and tried to stop, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t even see clear anymore.
“Shh,” he made and laid his hand around my waist pulling me closer.
His cold hand walked up my bag and hugged me tight.
Even thought my sobbing was wetting his shirt and my make up ruined it, too, he held me close.
And, I don’t know why, it clamed me down.
I felt so sincere.