I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

I went to my locker, Nate still around me.

Gosh, it was really cute, but his ‘I’m-gonna-protect-you’-attitude was annoying. He shot every single guy who looked in our direction some ‘Get-lost’-glares. It would be a wonder, if they ever looked at me again.

Hopefully, really hopefully, they won’t mistake this whole situation.

“You can stop…” I told Nate. He was leaning against the locker next to me.

Not that I cared that he was there, not that I cared about anything that moment, but his ‘Big brother’-complex was at that moment totally cute.

“I’m gonna pick you up,” he said. “After school.” With that he pushed himself off the locker and stood in front of me.

He looked back, seeing what I was, Jace coming in.

With a slow movement he stroke my right cheek and kissed my forehead.

“Later,” he said and walked off.

I grabbed my things and walked off. On the outside not caring what just happened, on the inside my heart was beating heavily.

That was really cute, just now.

My mind drove off.

Why the hell did I even do such a thing? I mean, the whole ignorance-thingy got on my nerves. It was annoying.

__

Twenty-Four hours had passed, twenty-four damn long weeks.

But Nate was so fun to be with. He was cute and kind and he was distracting me. From what? I don’t even know myself.

And I felt save and secure when he was with me. It was Friday. Friday before vacations and everyone was so happy and excited.

Except? Guess? Right, me.

Two horribly long and endlessly boring weeks were in front of me and I totally had no nerves to be all alone for THREEHUNDREDANDTHIRTYSIX Hours, Fourthousandsevenhoundredandfour minutes or Sixtyfivethousandeighthundredandfiftysix seconds.

Finally! After 4 fuckin’ hours of school it was finally lunchtime.

The cafeteria was packed, but to my disappointment Kesha was nowhere in sight.

Slowly my feet made their way over to the table we were always sitting.

I let my tired body plop onto the chair and rested my head in my hands.

I was so tired. It was… exhausting to be tired.

“You okay?” a voice asked. I ignored it.

“Can I… please talk to you for a moment?” I ignored it again.
”Melissa, I have a right to know why you are so upset… Please!” Jace said, not to forcefully, but not kind enough to be like he usual was.

I ignored him again.

As he saw that this conversation was going no-where he sighed.

“Let me at least tell you my version…”

I looked up, his eyes were on mine. But instead of the angry expression I expected they were tired, almost sad.

“Spill.” I said slowly and he sat down. I buried my head in my arms, which were laying on the table. It was dark, so I wouldn’t have to be able to see him.

His voice was the only thing that mattered now.

“We’re not related. You know, that girl, Georgina. I asked her to marry me back then in kindergarten and she still thinks I am going to hold on that promise. That’s… it’s a disaster. She’s just annoying and clingy on top of that.” I took a deep breath.

I held my head up; the beat of my heart was unsteady.

“So what?!” I snapped, looking into his eyes. His eyes…

“I thought you were… mad at me because of that. You seemed like it. Since the moment she entered you had been… strange. “

I lifted my eyebrows.

“Really, Jace Matthews? Really? We don’t even know us for a month and you already know how I’m behaving or reacting? Really?”

I gave him a ‘Don’t gimme that’-look and rolled my eyes.

“We have noting common. I just used to attend your party and was drunk, It just happened that you let me stay in your bed. That’s all. ALL. Nothing more!” I almost yelled.

“I don’t care about you, and you shouldn’t care ‘bout me. I’ve got my own life, and you should try having one, too! We’re finished.”

He looked at me, but I looked on the table.

“You couldn’t even look me in the eyes.” He said, got up and left.

It took me a while to get that I just blamed my fault at him in front of the whole cafeteria and the people in it.

But my heart was still unready. It hurt. I didn’t’ know why, but it hurt.

I should go to the nurse or something.

As I got home that day my parents were just about to scream again. As always I walked into my room. But this time I packed some stuff. Then I slowly opened my window.

The wind made the posters on my wall go fall off, so the purple colour, which was behind, got to be seen.

I climbed out of the window and jumped onto the ground. It wasn’t high, just 2 meters or so.

Not that I was used to do that, but sometimes I just needed not to see my once so lovely parents fight and scream. It was enough just to know that they did it.

For a short moment I even let myself believe that it’d be better if they got divorced. But as I realized what that would cause I just packed that heart-squeezing thought away.

I took my old-fashioned mobile out of my pocket. It still had a black-white-screen, but what did it matter? I could make calls with it and that was the main-purpose to get such a thing, wasn’t it?

“HOE!” said an all too familiar voice as I called her number.

I had to grin. She always answered her phone like that.

“It’s me,” I said.

“What’s up?” Kesha asked right after.

“Parents, again. Mind if I come to your house?”

She giggled.

“Why’d you even call?” – “I wanted to make sure not to walk in your little session.” I answered, telling the truth.

It was silent.

“Well, We’re not doing that right now.”

“How could I know? Last time you left me alone on a party to… have fun with your little toy, you know.”

“He’s not a toy!” Kesha answered.

“Who isn’t a toy?” I could hear Blake ask. “Nothing, Babe.” Kesha answered.

If I would have been in the mood I would have laughed, but the fact that my partens, my only family, we’re breaking apart was just not too funny, from my point of few.

“Bye, then.” I said as I almost hung up.

“Wait!” Kesha shouted. “Are you still at home?”

“Nope, I’m already half there. Why?”

“…”

“Why?!”

“You know, that cute guy, the one in our maths class…”

“Jace”

“Jace? Yeah, that’s the one.”

“What’s with him?”

“I met him, earlier. And I kinda… invited him over, so he’s here right now…”

“You knew I hated him?! Plus: You have a boyfriend!”

“I know, Blake’s here, too.” I could hear her grin. Jupp, right. Hear.

“Oh, you don’t know how dirty that sounded.”

“It did?”

“From your mouth? Yeah. It totally did.” I said, trying to change the subject.

“I’m there in 5.” I finally said, hunging up.

How should I behave? I mean, I just blamed him in front of the whole school. And he didn’t even do anything to me.

What am I? A monster?