Impulse

Brian stood in front of the door, hands balled into fists at his sides as he thought back on what Emma had said to him the day before. He wanted to change his ways, he was tired of being seen as the bad guy. He wanted Emma back, he wanted to be able to see Amelia every weekend like they used to. And, most of all he wanted to be in his new child’s life. He was going to get better, he didn’t care how long it took, he just wanted his family back.

He inhaled slowly, looking up at the door, raising his fist before knocking loudly on the door. He lowered his hand, placing it behind his back as he tapped his foot on the hard concrete. Looking up, he smiled, seeing Johnny's current girlfriend, Adrianna, standing there, a shocked look on her face. Her hair pulled up into a bun at the top of her head.

"Hey Adrianna, is Johnny in?" He asked politely.

"Yeah..." She paused, looking him up and down, she knew what he had done. "Hold on a second" She said, walking into the house, closing the door behind her.

Brian sighed, looking at his surroundings before looking at the door again, where Johnny stood, eyebrow raised as he stood against the door frame.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice calm.

“I just wanted to talk to you, man.” Brian said softly, looking up at him.

“Go away, Brian. I don’t want to talk to you.” Johnny said, going to close the door.

“Johnny please.” Brian begged, pushing at the door. He could hear a sigh from the other side of the door before it was pulled open. “I just need your help, John.” He admitted, looking down at his feet.

“Get in here” Johnny said, suddenly feeling bad for his friend.

Brian walked into the living room, taking a seat on the couch, exhaling slowly as he rested his elbows on his knees. Rubbing at his bloodshot eyes in hopes that it would stop the tears from coming, Brian looked up at his friend and fellow band mate who was staring at him, a unreadable expression on his face as he stared at Brian.

Johnny only stood a few feet away from Brian, but he could feel his distress. He could tell Brian was nervous he was tired, and the man smelled of alcohol, telling Johnny his friend had turned to the bottle for comfort. He walked over, taking a seat beside Brian on the couch. Johnny wanted to understand it, he wanted to understand how Brian could hurt his wife in ways, yet still love her in the end.

Johnny studied Brian, he wore a black v-neck shirt, his hair was flat, slicked back. He wore a pair of jeans and his favorite pair of Nikes. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose runny and red from unvarying wiping and rubbing. His face held a red tint to it, his cheeks flushed. His nose ring was gone, as well as the eyeliner that usually outlined his eyes, as well as the glow of his tanned skin.

Brian was hurt, he was in pain. His head was throbbing, the skin of his nose was tender. Nausea rolled in his stomach, his body ached, his back hurt. His legs were sore, his body was stiff, rigid. His knees ached and popped, his palms sore from falling so many times the night before. Emma had left him feeling lower than a dog.

“I want her back, John” Brian’s voice broke the silence. “I-I need her back.” He said, burying his face into his hands. “Its been too long, Johnny. I don’t know how much I can take.” He admitted.

“Brian. I don’t know if I can believe you. I-I’m sorry man. But did you see what you did to her? Its been going on for two years, dude. I don’t know if you want her back as your punching bag or your wife.” Johnny said.

Brian shook his head. “No, Johnny. I want her as my wife. I-I never realized how much I needed her until now. I’m going crazy, Johnny. I don’t know how to cope without her.” He sniffled, wiping at his eyes.

“I…” Johnny sighed. “I know, Brian” He placed his hand on his friend’s back. “I just, I don’t know… If I can trust you.” Johnny spoke sincerely.

“I know, I know.” Brian sighed, sitting up finally, revealing a broken man. “Look. I need your help… I-I want to go back to therapy.” He said, looking over at Johnny’s shocked face.

“…O-okay. We can do that, you know we can. We just have to get you in with the doctor.” Johnny said, nodding. “I just need to talk to Matt first, you understand.” Johnny whispered, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah. I understand.” Brian stood up from his seat, running his fingers through his still wet hair. “I’m going to go home, I need to clean up.” Brian lied, walking to the door.

“Hey! Wait!” Johnny hollered just as Brian opened the front door. “What made you change all of a sudden?” He questioned.

Brian smiled, his face lighting up. “My baby” He said simply, before walking out of the door, leaving Johnny confused.

-----
Emma sighed, running her fingers through her straight blond hair. She groaned, leaning her head against the toilet, sighing softly as she flushed the toilet. Standing up on shaky legs, Emma walked over to her bed, laying down. She rolled onto her back, resting her hand on her lower abdomen as she smiled softly. She couldn’t help but hope for a good future.

A soft knocking on the front door caused a large smile to form on Emma’s face as she hopped off the bed, ignoring the wave of nausea that came soon after. She rushed down the hall and down the stairs, smiling at Jacob on her way down. Another knock, and the noise of the doorbell was heard as she approached the door. Unlocking the door, she opened the door, revealing Olivia with a sleeping Amelia in one arm, an overnight bag in the other.

Emma smiled, reaching out as Olivia handed Amelia over, the small girl curling to her Mother’s embrace, placing her head on her shoulder.

“She’s running a fever. It started last night. Uhm… I put her medicine in a small plastic bag inside of here.” Olivia explained, handing the pink bag over to Emma. “She needs it every four to six hours. Just one table spoon. There’s a thermometer in there, and some Pepto Bismol, she’s been having some trouble with her tummy.” Olivia said.

“Thank you, Olivia. When will you be picking her up?” Emma asked, rubbing Amelia’s back.

“Monday. I’ll be picking her up after school. So, if you could send her overnight bag with you that would be amazing.” She said, smiling at Emma.

“Yeah. That sounds… That sounds fine, I’ll make sure to send it with her.” She said. “Thank you again, and have a nice day.” Emma spoke.

“No problem! And you too. I’ll call later to check up on her.” Olivia said.

“Alright. Bye Olivia.” Emma said politely.

Olivia turned away from them, walking down the path to her car. Emma rolled her eyes and closed the door, muttering words to herself as she carried her daughter up the stairs. Jacob stood at the top of the stairs, causing Emma to stop a step below him. He smiled at her.

“I haven’t seen her since she was a baby.” He said softly, sighing. “She’s gotten so big.” He observed, looking up at Emma. “She’s gorgeous.” He complimented.

“Thank you. I’m going to go lay her down. Want to join me?” She asked.

“That sounds amazing.” He answered, chuckling as he lead the two into Emma’s bedroom.

“Pull back the covers, please. And help me take her shoes off.” Emma said, laying Amelia down on the bed.

Amelia stirred, moving her head from side to side before stopping, letting out a soft sigh. Emma smiled down at her daughter, taking in her appearance. She was sweating, her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, her baby hairs sticking to her forehead. She wore a pair of pajama pants and a over sized t-shirt. Emma smiled, staring down at the Avenged Sevenfold shirt that covered most of her daughter’s body.

“I gave that to her when she was taken away.” Emma said, feeling tears spring to her eyes. “I-I can’t believe they let her keep it.” She said, picking Amelia up. “Can you pull her shoes off?” She asked. Without a word, Jacob pulled the sandals from Amelia’s feet.

“Em. I need to talk to you about something.” Jacob said, looking at his Aunt, a hopeful look on his face.

“Alright. I need to take her temperature. Wanna meet me downstairs?” She asked.

“Sure.” He said, leaving the room.

Emma sighed happily, laying Amelia down on the bed, taking a seat beside her. She stared down at the 7 year old, running her hands over her forehead. She hummed softly, the tune of the song only known to the two girls. She pulled Amelia’s pajama pants off, feeling her daughter’s heated legs. Biting at her bottom lip, Emma went into the overnight bag, searching around for a clear plastic bag. Once she had found it, she pulled the thermometer out.

She reached under Amelia’s clothes, stopping when the girl moved. She placed the thermometer under Amelia’s arm, lowering the limb afterward. A few moment pass before the small device goes off. Emma reaches under the small girl’s clothes, pulling the device from under her arm. Emma sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she read the numbers shown.

103.6

Emma looked over at Amelia. The girl looked uncomfortable, she was turning, moving her body as she tried to get comfortable. Chewing at her bottom lip, Emma reached out and shook Amelia softly, knowing her daughter was a light sleeper. Amelia stretched, opening her eyes to see Emma staring down at her.

“Mommy?” Amelia asked, rubbing at her eyes. “Is that you?” She asked.

“Yeah baby.” Emma sighed. “Its me.” She said.

“Where’s Daddy?” Amelia asked, looking around the room.

“He’s not here, baby.” She said, smiling. “I don’t know where he is…” Emma finished.

“Momma. My head hurts.” Amelia said, yawning.

“What else hurts, baby?” Emma asked, pulling the medication from the bag.

“My tummy. And my throat.” Amelia answered.

“Alright. Come on baby, we’re gonna make you feel better. Kay?” Emma asked, pulling her daughter from the bed.

“Yeah. I wanna walk.” Amelia said, squirming from her Mom’s grasp. She got down to the floor with a soft ‘thud’.

“Alright.” Emma said.

Amelia reached over, grabbing her Mom’s hand. Emma smiled, Amelia walked ahead of her Mom, skipping down the stairs, ignoring her Mother’s protests. Emma grinned, shaking her head at her daughter’s similarities to her father. Walking into the living room, Jacob sat on the couch, a smoothie sitting in front of him as he chewed nervously on the inside of his lip.

“You don’t remember him.” Emma said, picking Amelia up from behind, walking to the couch. “But this your cousin, Jacob.” She said, smiling.

“Hi! I’m Amelia.” She said, putting her hand out. “Its nice to meet you.” She smiled.

Jacob chuckled. “Nice to meet you too kid.” He said, shaking her hand.

Emma chuckled, Amelia sighed and leaned back, resting her body on her Mother. Amelia wrapped her arms around her daughter, kissing the side of her head as “One More Time” by Daft Punk came on TV. Amelia stared at the animation. Jacob tapped Emma on the leg softly. Emma looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. The boy simply pointed to Amelia’s legs.

Moving up, Emma looked over her child’s and looked at where the shirt had rode up, exposing the girl’s thighs. Emma’s mouth fell open at what she saw. Scars ran across Amelia’s thigh, bruises littered the area, from her upper thigh to her knee. A healing cut sat just above Amelia’s knee. Emma tightened her grip on her daughter’s waist.

She felt her chest jerk as she let out a silent sob. She leaned her head back, tears falling from her eyes as she breathed heavily. She sniffled, pushing at Amelia’s back. The small girl moved away from her Mother’s lap, taking a seat beside Jacob as she watched her Mom run away. Jacob looked over at Amelia smiling at the girl.

“Honey, stay down here. I’m gonna go talk to your Momma, okay?” He asked.

“Yeah…” Amelia sighed. “Did I do anything wrong?” She asked, suddenly becoming nervous, looking down at her hands.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You understand me?” Jacob asked.

“Yeah.” Amelia said, laying down on the bed.

“I’ll be right back, baby.” He said, running to the stairs.

Walking into Emma’s room, Jacob rushed over to his crying aunt. Emma sat on the bed, her face buried in her hands as she sobbed, her shoulders shaking. She was hysterical, her sobs loud, shaking her to the core as she thought of how well Mr. Reynolds spoke of Olivia and her husband. She knew he was causing harm to her baby.

Jacob walked over, wrapping his arms around Emma’s shoulders as he tried to help the girl pick herself up off of the floor. He rubbed her back, placing his head on her shoulder, kissing her hair softly.

“I-I thought they were good people.” Emma said through her tears. “He said they were good people. H-He told us we had nothing to worry about. He… He said they were perfect, that they could give her what she needed!” She cried, her body shaking. “He told me she was in good hands, that they wouldn’t hurt her. He said they were good people.” She sobbed.

“He lied to you, Emma. You need to tell somebody.” Jacob said, rubbing her back.

“Who… Who would believe me?” Emma asked. “They know about Brian, they’re just going to think it was him again.” Emma sobbed.

“No. No, you tell them you’ve been away from him, okay?” He asked. Emma nodded. “We need to talk to Amelia first, Emma. Before we do anything.” He said.

Emma looked over at her nephew and nodded. He grabbed her hand, leading her out the door. Emma stared ahead blankly, rage taking over. She couldn’t believe he would go so low to take out his anger on a child that wasn’t his. He seemed to be such a nice man, he was handsome, and nice. Seeing what he had done, Emma chuckled, he was an ugly man.

She thought Amelia was okay. She thought that her daughter was in a good home, that she was safe from all harm. She wanted to steal her daughter away, bring to the place where she was loved, where she wouldn’t be hurt ever again. Her friends, family, they loved Amelia as if she were their own. She remembered all the money they had put towards Amelia, how they didn’t want to leave the delivery room.

She remembered the baby shower, how her friends didn’t have much. Matt had given his money he had been saving up for a new microphone. He had bought the girl clothes, bibs, and bottles. Jimmy took the money he was saving for a new snare to buy Amelia more clothing and diapers. Johnny and Zacky put their money together, money they were going to buy for amps to buy Amelia her crib.

Emma smiled, tears springing to her eyes, she knew she was going to go through this again soon. A large hand was placed on her shoulder, bringing her out of her thoughts. She looked around to see they were in the living room, the TV had been turned off, Amelia was standing in front of them, a confused expression on her face. Jacob looked over and nodded.

“Amelia, honey.” Emma said, sighing, trying to fight the tears away. “W-who… Who gave you all those bruises and cuts on your leg, baby?” She asked.

Amelia looked at her mother, her large blue eyes holding tears as she shook her head. Placing her hands over her face as she shook her head from side to side, as if to block them out. Emma looked over at Jacob, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Amelia. I asked you a question.” Emma said, her voice loud.

“No! Leave me alone!” Amelia screamed up at her mother, staring at her before running to the stairs. Emma looked over at Jacob.

“Well… that went well.”