Impulse

Emma sighed, running her hands over her sides, smoothing the large shirt that covered the top half of her body. Her hair was straight, just barely grazing her collar bones, her make up was in a cay eye style, her eyelashes covered in multiple brands of mascara. Emma rubbed her glossed lips together and grabbed her bag from the floor, sighing as she did so.

Walking down the stairs, she could hear her Mother and Father talking in the living room. Walking to where they were, Emma smiled at the two and waved before taking a seat beside her Mom.

“Emma. Where are you going?” Ivan asked, reaching into the large bowl of fruit.

“Oh, just out with Allison” Emma said, smiling at her Dad, feeling her Mom’s arm wrap around her shoulders.

“Allison? As in Brian’s sister, Allison?” Ivan asked, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Emma” He said.

“Dad, she doesn’t even talk to Brian anymore.” Emma said, waving nonchalantly. “Plus, we need to catch up anyway” She said, hearing a honk from outside her home. “And that’s her, so I’ve got to go, tell Jacob good luck for me at the game” She said, kissing her parents good bye.

Emma had yet to tell her parents that she was pregnant. She knew that if she told them they would lock her away, forbid her to see anybody aside from themselves and family friends. They would make sure Emma and her child were safe. They would keep her from doing what she was going to do, they were going to keep her from going back to Brian. She couldn’t blame them.

She walked outside into the hot California sun, smiling at Allison as the girl waved at her from the car. Reaching out, Emma grabbed the door handle as she approached the car. Opening the door, Emma got inside and slammed the door, buckling herself in. Emma sighed, looking out the window as she placed her hands in her lap.

She thought of how her life was going to change in only a few months. Would she be with Brian? Would the baby survive? She wondered what she was going to be having, what the baby would look like. Would it look like Brian? Emma? Amelia? Emma felt her stomach churn at the thought of her daughter. She felt horrible for not contacting her like she should.

She was going to call her after the appointment, she decided in her head. She smiled, thinking of how Amelia was going to react to the news that she would be having a baby brother or sister on the way. She could hear the small girl’s voice squeal, asking her questions, all of the “What ifs” and “Can Is” Emma couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes.

She began to become excited, she had been thinking about Brian lately. How he was going to react to the news, if he would accept the baby, if he would accuse her of cheating. She was going to be holding her baby in her arms in just a few months, she was going to count small fingers and toes, touch soft skin, lull to sleep, and love incessantly.

“Emmy” Said Allison, shaking a dazed Emma. “Come on, we’re here” She laughed, unbuckling herself.

Emma looked out the window to see Dr. Joki’s office, the small building’s glass windows allowed Emma to see inside. The small office was mostly empty, aside from the three couples that sat inside. Emma unbuckled herself and opened the door, Allison waited patiently by the door, grabbing Emma’s hand as she began to get out, looking around to see Brian’s large Escalade sitting across the street.

She looked at the man in the car as she shut her door, placing her hand on Emma’s back as his window rolled down, an almost sympathetic look on his face. She furrowed her eyebrows in hurt and confusion as she lead Emma into the office. As they opened the door, the sound of a bell rang, letting everybody know of their arrival.

The couples looked up, women with hands on their large stomach’s, men looked back down, uninterested in the two women.

“Go sit down, I’ll sign you in.” Allison ordered.

Emma nodded, walking over to an open seat next to a woman with fire engine red hair. She sighed, crossing one leg over the other as her foot began to twitch. She was becoming nervous, she had felt this feeling before. She tapped her fingers against her knee and rubbed her lips together roughly. The woman looked over at Emma.

“First baby?” She questioned, her voice was soft.

Emma looked over. “Uhm, yeah” She lied.

“I know that look.” The woman paused, adjusting in her seat. “You’re scared, I can tell. But listen honey” She placed a hand on her swollen belly, just as a small bump appeared. “Having a child of your own is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Pregnancy is going to be hard,” She chuckled. “But everything is going to be worth it in the end. Everything will be okay” She smiled.

“Thank you, very much” Emma said softly. “How many do you have?” She questioned.

“3, these two here are number 4 and 5” She chuckled, her hands moving over her stomach.

“Twins. Wow. Congrats” Allison said, taking a seat beside Emma.

“Oh, thank you. Are you two together… Or?” The woman trailed off.

“Oh, no. She’s married to my brother. He couldn’t make it, so I came with her instead” Allison explained, nodding.

“Oh. Pity that he couldn’t make it.” She said, sighing. “Just make sure to tell him everything-- in detail. I’m Sadie by the way, and this is my husband, Jack” She said, referring to the Japanese man sitting beside her.

“Its very nice to meet you. I’m Emma, and this is Allison” Emma said, just as the door opened.

“Emma Haner?” A female nurse called.

“Good luck, honey” Sadie said, watching as the two women got up.

Emma turned and smiled at the woman, before turning around, following the woman in pacifier covered scrubs down the hallway. They came to a door with the number ‘5’ on it. The nurse opened the door and lead the two inside.

“Hello, I‘m Hannah” She introduced herself, waving to the two girls. “Which one of you is pregnant?” She asked.

“I am” Emma said, taking a seat on the table.

“Alright. So, just a few questions to clear some things up.” She pulled out a folder. “This is baby number 2?” She asked.

“Yes” Emma answered.

“Have you been having any tenderness of the breasts?” She asked.

“Yeah”

“Missed period?”

“Yes”

“Do you remember when the first day of your last period was?” She asked.

“The exact day? No. But… Probably early February” She answered.

“And your period is 28 days apart, right? Regular cycle?” She asked. Emma nodded at the question.

“Any spotting since then?” Hannah asked.

“A little bit, but its only happened once since my period ended” She said.

“Okay, and when was that?” Hannah asked, looking up from the folder.

“Last week” Emma retorted.

“Alright…” Hannah flipped the page over. “Sickness at all?” She asked.

“Yes. I’ve been feeling very dizzy and sick for the last few days.” Emma nodded.

“Okay then, I’ll just need you to get up for a second and stand on the scale for me, hon.” Hannah said.

Emma stood up from her seat on the bed, the rough paper making noises as she did so. Walking over to the scale, she stood on it, waiting for a few moments before Hannah jotted down her weight on the chart she held.

“Alright, good weight. So, just take a seat on the table and Dr. Joki will be in soon.” Hannah said, smiling as she left the room.

Allison sat in the chair across from the bed that Emma sat on, the room was engulfed in silence and excitement. Allison’s phone began to vibrate in her purse. Cursing under her breath, Allison grabbed her purse and began to search for the device. Finding it, she let her purse rest on the seat beside her as she looked at the text she got from Brian.

What’s going on ?
Fri, Mar. 28 1:05PM.
From: Brian

Nothing , the nurse just came in and asked Emma some questions. You haven’t missed anything, don’t worry.
Fri, Mar. 28 1:06PM.
To: Brian

Just as the text was sent, the door opened, revealing a tall man with a large smile and a white lab coat. Emma sat up straight seeing him, a large grin coming over her face as he closed the door behind him.

“Emma! Look at you, I thought I’d never see you here again!” He exclaimed, pulling Emma into a hug.

“I know, I know. Dr. Joki, this is my friend, Allison. Allison, this is my wonderful gynecologist, Dr. Joki. He delivered Amelia.” Emma grinned.

“Its very nice to meet you” Allison said, shaking the man’s hand.

“Alright. Let’s see what we’ve got in there” He said, pulling on a pair of purple gloves. “Just scoot up a bit, lay down, and pull up your shirt” He said, turning on the large machine.

Emma looked over at Allison and smiled wide. She sat laid back, raising her butt a little as she pulled up her large shirt. She unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down enough to expose her hair line. Dr. Joki grabbed a towel from under the table and tucked it into the front of Emma’s pants. Walking over to the counter, he grabbed a small bottle of a clear liquid.

Walking back over, he opened the bottle and squeezed, a generous amount set on her lower abdomen. He grabbed the transducer and pressed the device to her stomach. Allison stood up and walked over to where Emma lay, her phone vibrating in her hand. Moving it around, he finally stopped when an image appeared on the screen.

“Let’s zoom in a bit” He said. The picture got larger, as he moved the tool around her lower abdomen. “There’s the little monster” He chuckled, pointing to the screen. “Lets see if we can get a heartbeat, eh?” He said, turning on the microphone.

In seconds, the room was filled with the noise of the baby’s heartbeat. Emma felt happiness consume her, and she couldn’t keep the tears from coming as she muttered words under her breath, covering her mouth with her hands as the tears slid down her face.

“The baby is in good health, Emma. Heart rate is 160, which is great.” He said, staring at the screen for a while. “You are 7 weeks along, my dear” He said, a large grin on his face as he pressed a few buttons. “I’m just printing a few photos for you” He said.

Allison looked down at Emma who lay on the bed, large smile on her face as she stared back at her. Allison smiled, and turned away to grab her purse. She felt bad, she felt that somebody else should be here with Emma, not her. Jane, Charlotte, Matt, hell, even Brian should be here. Not her. She felt selfish for telling Brian, she felt as if she had put her sister in law and her unborn child in danger.

“Alright, I will see you next week, Emma. Just schedule your appointment with Kimberly on your way out. Take care” He said, standing up before leaving the room.

Emma grabbed the white envelope before pulling the towel from the front of her pants. Allison’s phone vibrated in her hand once again, she bit her lip.

“Hey, Em. I’ve got to call somebody really quick. Just… Meet me outside, okay?” Allison asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I need to make a few calls too” She was beaming.

Allison grabbed her purse and walked to the door, opening the door. She walked down the hallway and out the back, Jack and Sadie were gone, and a new couple had taken their place. She walked out of the office and down the street, to the alley where she knew Brian was hiding.

“I’m done” She said sternly.

“What are you talking about?” Brian asked, flicking ashes from his cigarette.

“I said I’m done. I’m tired of this, Brian. I don’t want to hurt her anymore” She said. “I don’t want to hurt her, or her baby. Your baby” She stated.

Brian looked up at her. “We had a deal” He snapped, looking over at her.

“Maybe” She sighed. “Maybe if you got the fuck over what happened to Mom, maybe if you forgot what you saw, and had the mental capacity to know what he did to her was wrong, maybe she’d still be there. Maybe if you cared about her and your baby you wouldn’t be having to use me to come within a few yards of her! And you‘d possibly still have Amelia!” Allison exploded. “Maybe if you showed some fucking compassion and love for her instead of giving her a black eye and a split lip” She walked up at him. “Maybe she’d still love you.” Allison whispered, pushing away from him and walking away.

“Hey! Where were you?” Emma asked, standing beside the car as Allison rounded the corner.

“Oh, I thought I saw something.” She lied, laughing,

“Was it a cat or something?” Emma wondered.

“Yeah, turns out it was a rat” Allison lied, unlocking her car.

Emma laughed aloud, getting into the car. She rolled down the window and sighed, pulling out her cell phone. She strolled through the contacts before she stopped on Olivia’s name. She bit her bottom lip and tapped the screen, pulling it up to her ear.

“Hello?” Came a deep, male voice.

“Ryan? Hey, I-its Emma” She said softly.

“Emma? Hey…” He said awkwardly.

“Can I talk to Amelia for just a second, please?” She asked, looking out the window.

“Yeah, hold on” He said.

The car came to a stop. Emma turned her head to see that they were parked outside of her home. She looked over at Allison and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her before grabbing her puse, unbuckling herself and getting out of the car.

“Hello?” Came Amelia’s sweet, angelic voice.

“Amelia? Its Momma.” She said, walking up to the empty house.

“Mommy!” Amelia squealed, making Emma laugh.

“How’s my baby girl?” She asked, her voice cracking as she unlocked the front door.

“I’m good. Momma! I got an A on my spelling test! My teacher told me I’m the best speller she’s ever seen” Amelia said, Emma could only imagine the proud look on her face.

“That’s so good baby girl. I’m so proud of you” Emma said, taking a seat on the couch.

“Mommy… Why haven’t you called me? Did you forget about me, Mommy?” Amelia asked.

“No! No baby girl… I… I-I’d never forget you. Never. I love you so much” Emma sighed, placing her hand over her quivering lips.

“I love you too, Mommy. I miss you.” Amelia said.

“I miss you too honey. I miss you, I miss you so much…” Emma sniffled, wiping tears away from her face. “But I want you to know something, okay?” Emma asked, swallowing hard.

“Okay” Amelia said softly.

“You’re my baby girl. I love you so much, Amelia. I’d do anything for you. Anything. Me and Daddy are fixing things up. He’s… He’s not hurting me anymore, baby.” Emma said.

“You promise?” Amelia asked.

“Yes. I promise” Emma said, standing up.

“Can I come see you, Mommy?” Amelia asked.

“Put Olivia on the phone, baby” Emma said softly.

She could hear the soft noise of fumbling. “Hello?” Came a female voice.

“Olivia? Hey, its Emma” She said.

“Emma. How are you?” Olivia asked.

“Great. Great. M-me and Brian are taking a break” She said.

“Really? Wow, I’m so happy for you, Em.” Olivia said.

“I was wondering, if maybe I could keep Amelia for a few days? I-I’m walking distance from her school, I’m staying with my parents now, s-she’ll have a place to sleep.” Emma said.

“Of course you can, Em. I can drop her off in the morning, around 9?” Olivia asked.

“Yes. That would be perfect” Emma said, smiling.

“Alright. Bye Emma” Olivia said, hanging up.

Emma smiled, sitting down on the sofa, sighing as she sat her purse down on the floor beside her, ultrasound photos inside. She figured she’d tell Amelia in person, rather than over the phone. She looked to her left hand to see the wedding ring around her finger. She couldn’t take it off, no. She sighed, closing her eyes just as the doorbell rang.

Groaning, she stood up and walked over to the door, grabbing the knob, she turned it and opened the door, seeing Brian standing in the way, his face soft. Emma dropped her arms at her sides, staring back at the man as she slowly backed away from him. He shook his head, reaching out to touch her, only for her to flinch away.

“I-I’m not going to hurt you, Emmy” He said, shutting the door behind him.

“W-what do you want then?” Emma asked, trying to be strong.

“I want you, Emma. I miss you… I miss you so bad” He said, his large arm wrapping around her wrist. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through… I’m sorry for putting my hands on you,” He paused, looking at her. “I’m sorry for hurting Amelia, I’m sorry for causing her so much pain, to be taken away” He was being truthful.

“I’m sorry… I-I can’t take you back.” Emma said, Brian’s face stayed the same. “I’ve heard this so many times, Brian. If you can prove to me--” She wiped a tear away. “If you can prove to me that you really love me, I’ll take you back” She said.

“What do I have to do? Tell me” He said, touching her jaw bone.

“Get help. Get help for yourself. Get back on your medication” She ordered.

“Okay… Okay” He said, sighing. He walked up to her and placed a hand on her abdomen. “Remember, I’m not only changing for you and Amelia. I’m changing for our new baby too”

“Get out…” She stated.

“What?” He asked.

“I said get out!” She said, her voice more stern.

Emma walked to the stairs, listening to the door slam shut, she walked into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her, crying as she pulled her boots off, one by one. She fell on top of her bed, screaming into her pillow as she flung her limbs around, angry. She felt her self calm down as she stopped, curling into the fetal position. She placed a hand on her stomach, where his had been only moments before.

“I’m not going to let him hurt you. I promise”