H.B. and Gypsy

Why is today so fucking warped? I mean, Honestly.

First, my letter comes in, and then Im greeted by Mrs.Lee and Landon in my living room at the ass crack of dawn, then I come to find that Landon doesn’t even Speak.

I arrive at my doorstep and make sure to wipe the bottoms of my shoes off just right.

As I open my front door I smell a very welcoming ,ironically enough, aroma of steamed vegetables and rice. The perfect disguise for any family in turmoil. You know, whenever you are walking home from school or driving past a house, and you smell good food, you think “ they must have it good, with food like that.” Yeah, that. Well, sadly enough, my life isnt mirrored correctly by my moms culinary skills. If that were the case, we would be living off of tic-tacs and ketchup packets. Ha.

I continue on into my kitchen and take a seat at the table where my dad was, trying to avoid the glare he was throwing at me.…What did I do this time?

As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, my dad then says “Stop trying to act as if you don’t know why im upset, and tell me why your ass wasnt home earlier.” You would think he was seriously trying to shoot lazers from his eyes or something, by the way he was glaring at me…I think he might even be grinding his teeth. I think someone needs a happy meal. Bad.

“Well, when I was walking, I noticed that Mrs.Lee and Landon were home and I decided to say hello…” I attempted. I really don’t feel like dealing with this tonight.

“Who the hell are they?” He replies. Oh I forgot…he wasn’t here when they came over. That explains why it was so quiet this morning.

I was about to answer when my mom turns her attention to us, temporarily abandoning the bread she was making, and says “Oh they are our new neighbors. They made a quick visit this morning. I thought it would be the nice thing to do, so I invited them over tomorrow night for a Bar-B-Q at 5 o’ clock.” My mom turned back to her bread, buttering it up nice.

My dad grumbles to himself in annoyance. He’s not a huge fan of people who he doesn’t know coming over to the house. He’s not a huge fan of people in general.

Here it goes, I have to ask if its ok that I spend some time with Landon today A shovel into the grave, as far as im concerned.

“Um, speaking of them, when I saw them just now…they invited me over later…would that be ok?” I questioned. My mom would let me, no doubt. She was always encouraging me to make a new friend. My dad, on the other hand, was the issue. He…Well, he just has a stick shoved way up his ass.

“Of course! That way, you guys will be a little more comfortable tomorrow..” My mom smiles. See? I knew it. Now, all I have to do is wait for my dad to think of excuse to not let me go..It will be here any second now…

“I don’t think that’s a good ide-“ My dad began, but my mom cut him off with “Oh stop it, Dave. Ever can go make a friend for once.” She rolled her eyes. I love my mom.

All my dad did wad shoot my mom a snare and march up to their bedroom.

“Thanks mom, I promise I wont be home late.” I get up and go hug her.

“Of course, Ever. Don’t listen to your father, he’s had a hard day at work apparently, so he doesn’t know what he’s saying.” She Hugs me back with a pat on the back. I just nod.

Well, you should know what you are saying before you say it, Asshole.

I let go of my mom, and make my way back to the living room. Since Dad isnt joining us for lunch, I figured she would let me eat in the living room. I could catch up on some shitty T.v. before I get to old for it to be Ok to like such horrible entertainment. Now I wait for my food. Then Landons House.

____________________________________________________________________________

As I make my way to Landon’s house, I start to get nervous. How am I suppose to make good conversation with a note pad? Although, it does sound interesting…I cant help but think if it will be too awkward or not.

I glance down at my watch and see that its already 4:00. Hm.

Im walking up the walk way to Landons front porch when I see out of the corner of my eye, a pair of eyes watching me through their window. They quickly dash away upon noticing I had seen them… and that’s when the front door opened.

“Landon told me he saw you walking up, hi!” Mrs. Lee greeted me, with a very shy looking Landon standing next to her.

“That was you looking through the window?” I said. Good to know its not some creep.

Landon just nods with his usual lopsided smile.

“Well come in, lets get tonight started” Mrs.Lee smiled. I grin and nod my head.

I walk into their house and notice how absolutely cozy and homey it was. I love it already. “Wow, your house is amazing.” I say, still looking around…wishing that my house was this welcoming.

“Thanks sweetie.” She responds. “You boys are free to do whatever you’d like…just have fun.” She leaves me and Landon alone in the living room.

Sure enough, Landon wips out his notepad and quickly sribbles something down. He turns it to me.

I can show you my room if you want?

“Sure, whatever you wanna do is fine…” I trail off when he starts to walk up to his room looking pretty eager to show me, signaling me to follow him. He looks so excited, but instead of feeling good about it, I feel bad for him. Just someone coming to visit him makes him happy. I wonder when the last time this happened was…probably too long.

We walk up the stairs and his room is the last one down the hallway, to the right.

He gives me a quick glance and curls his hand around the door knob and opens his door.

I hadnt even noticed that he was writing something down on his notepad at that second…I was too busy staring at this room. It was…emaculate. Everything in his room was organized perfectly and cleaned flawlessly. Right when you walk in, there is a book case directly to your right, up against the wall…all of the books were organized alphabetically by title. I walk further into his room and notice that his bed is in the far left corner of his room, with an all black comforter and white sheets. Right across fr0m his bed was a desk with some notebooks on it along with a sketchbook and some colored pencils, all neatly put into a little cup he had that apparently held all his writing utensils. Right next to the desk was a dark wood dresser with a T.V. on top of it. I start to gaze around some more and realize that his walls are painted dark red. Good color choice.

Landon nudges me in my arm and shows me his new note.

You don’t have to stay standing…you can sit if you’d like.

Oh. I was still standing in the middle of his room…and I still havent said anything. God, Im awkward.

“Oh, yeah sorry…Im just really impressed with your room. Its so tidy. My room is nothing like this.” I say while mindlessly scratching my head.

His purple pen goes to work with a new sentence.

Yeah…im a bit of a clean freak. Sorry.

“No, its admirable…if I could see my bedroom floor, that would be a miracle. Im horrible at keeping things in order.”

Everyone has their own way of doing things…

Like how you talk with a note pad? I was tempted to say it, but I kept my mouth shut. It was just too much a coincidence that he would “say” that.

I settle for nodding my head in agreement.

He smiles and walks over to his T.V. There was a top drawer of his dresser that was smaller than the other drawers and he opened it to reveal to me that it had all of his game consoles in there…along with some DVD’s and controllers.

He pointed to his games as if he was asking if I wanted to play them. I did want to…but im kind of hell bent on figuring out what happened to him. I mean, would it be totally weird to try and just ask him? Ill wait and see what happens.

I follow him to his T.V. and respond with “What game is your favorite?”

He reaches into his drawer and pulls out “Mario Party 5”. He shows me the game with an apprehensive smile and then writes something down.

I know its nerdy and kind of childish…but I love it. His note reads.

“Yeah, who cares…if its fun, that’s all that matters right?” I say, trying to make him feel more comfortable. He is obviously feeling shy, as am I, but its even more difficult for him to express it.

Right. He adds with a nod. So you want to play? He writes.

“Actually…is it ok if I ask you a question?” I have always hated when people ask that…because its quite obvious that you just asked a question in the act of seeing if it was okay to ask a question in the first place. It’s a waste of words.

He kind of tucks his knees up and wraps his arms around them with a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself for something, and slightly puts his head down…almost in defeat. He then gives me a nod.

I wish he didn’t look so afraid of what I was going to ask…it was making me feel horrible.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

He gives me a quick nod, and I decide to continue.

“Well…I noticed that you talk with a note pad…”

He nods slowly, waiting for me to finish.

“…I was just wondering if I could ask why you do that?” I tried to sound as nice as possible, fearing I would hurt his feelings by being so straight forward.

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair and holds his head with his two palms reasting on his forehead. So he’s been asked this a lot Im guessing…?

Does it make you uncomfortable? He jots down, after a couple seconds.

He just looked so tired and worn out. He was reminding me of those people who hold interviews for the entire day, and when they finally get to you, their whole speech that they have to say is dragging and robotic because of the repetition that they just experienced. Landon was looking as if he knew exactly what I was going to say, had gone through this a million times, and what it was going to end like. I should have guessed that he gets asked that question a lot, and a bunch of people probably don’t give him the time of day he deserves.

“Actually, I find it to be really interesting…” I answer his previous question.

He raises an eyebrow and quickly writes down-

You don’t have to lie, you know. Im used to it.

“What makes you think I’m lying?”

How can I be sure you are telling the truth?

This kid was more troubled than I thought...a whole lot of people must have screwed him over in the past for him to be this weary of peoples intentions.

“That’s up to you…but, don’t you think if I was uncomfortable, I would have found a reason to not come tonight?” I point out. To be honest, Im actually surprised that I hadnt felt reluctant to come tonight.

I guess…

I nod my head and continue “ If you would like me to leave, I will, but I want you to know that I don’t find it weird or uncomfortable that you cant speak. I think we can both learn something from this.”

His cheeks turn baby pink and he slowly writes something down.

Um…Thank you? He tries to add a smile, but he still seems shocked and confused at my statement.

He then adds to his note, I don’t want you to leave, either.

I smile. “ Good to know.” Im not sure why, but im not feeling very shy anymore.

This is different.

“Oh, and Landon?” I say, trying to re-catch his attention that seemed to be on his purple pen now.

He glances up quickly.

“You can tell me when your ready, you know…its not a big deal or anything.” I try to get him a little more at ease. He just smiles and nods.

Not sure what it was, but I didn’t really feel like playing any video games right now. I was more interested in getting to know Landon. I was about to suggest looking at his sketch books are something, but he was preoccupied. With a note he was writing.

So…what about you Ever? Whats your story? , He wrote.

Great minds think alike. I guess ill learn more about his cryptic ways later. Although, I was never comfortable talking about myself. I was so…

Boring.
Dull.
Ordinary.
Your average shot-down soul.

But here goes nothing. “My story is…well, its not very interesting.” I started. Ok, maybe I was wrong about not being shy anymore. Its just that… whenever he looks at me…I cant think? Fuck, what the hell is that suppose to mean? Great, another mystery for me to crack. Joy.

I doubt it. Landon wrote.

I looked at it and wondered why he felt that way. I wasn’t interesting. Maybe I seemed interesting. At least somone thought so. Nah, theres no way.

I started to play with my hands. “Um, No really. I mean, I like to write…and play music. I suck at it though…”

What do you play?

“I guess a little bit of everything…but the violin used to be my favorite.” I looked down. How I missed the violin. It used to be the only way I could calm down. The only way I could honestly express myself.

Landon Raised his eyebrows, almost in surprise.

Used to be…? It read.

“Mhm. Stopped playing when I was…15. Yep.” I explained. I wasn’t very fond of talking about why I stopped playing the violin. It was a very…intimate subject for me.

I was staring at him through waiting eyes. He seemed confused.

But why? You loved it…

Shit, If I fucking break down, Im going to pay for it later. Just calm down and tell him. NO, don’t. dont. Its really not even a crazy reason, it just…makes me depressed as hell.

I sighed and rubbed my eyelid, hoping to scare away any tears that might be on there way out. “Its…um, really hard for me to talk about it..sorry.”

I looked up through red-rimmed eyes, and realised how close he was to me.
About 1…2…3…4…5 inches. From my body. Why does this make me nervous?

He then slid my hand in his, clicked his purple pen, and without warning, was rolling the ink onto my palm, into a message.

When he was done he looked at it for a second and gave me my hand back, very gently, by setting it in my lap. And with that, he gave me a shy smile, and scooted back to his previous spot on the floor. The whole time, Im just staring in wonder. This boy has had me thinking more then I have thought in years. All in one day.

I look down at my palm and it said the following.

Never leave what you Love. Play Again.

That’s it. Im crying…and no one can stop me. Shit…there go the tears. Right onto the beautifully written message Landon gave me. Pooling around his scripture.

He see’s that im crying and with a weary expression painted across his face, he slowly crawls over to my side, almost like a little child. (I wasn’t lying when I said his mannerisms were that of a young kid.) He sits down next to me and tilts his head to the side, almost like he was asking whats wrong, while taking my hand in his again. But, this time it was for…support?

I take his hand willingly.

“Im sorry. Your right, Its just that…its out of my control. For the most part.”

I started to think of why I stopped. That day was one of the worst days of my existance.
Landon nods in understanding. God, this kid was nice. I was seriously grateful. I had never talked to anybody about this. Let alone, another kid my age, on a personal level.

He keeps ahold of my hand, and lifts up his hip to grab his notepad that was in his back pocket with his free hand. He looks at our hands that are still holding eachother and looks at me, like asking if He could write something down really quick, and I let him.

While he was writing his note, I found my self craving his physical connection again. I wanted to hold his hand again…Which im surprised doesn’t bother me. I actually love it. His hands are soft. Very untouched. Pure. Innocent. It was refreshing.

He tore off the page he was scribbling on and handed it to me.

Maybe you can change that…I could help you if you want. I would love to see you play.

While I was reading it, I felt his hand slide its way back into mine, which I took gladly. I think he sensed that I needed the extra support. God, this kid is going to break my heart.

Another tear found its way out of my eye and slips down my face, and onto his perfect hand. “Sorry Landon…” I whisper, and take the sleeve of my jacket and wipe the tear off in one smooth motion. He doesn’t seem to care. He’s too focused looking at me. He was worried.

“Can I borrow your pen…please?” I asked. Im not sure why I felt that I needed to do what I did…but It felt right.

He gave me a curious glance and handed me the pen.

I took his hand that I was holding and pulled it closer to me. I began to write on the back of his hand.

It only took a second…and then I took my hand from his and began to stand up. I glanced back at him and saw him mouth the words to himself that I had written, without actually voicing it. All I had written was Thank you.". He started smiling to himself.

By the time he looked up, I was already gone.