H.B. and Gypsy

I stood there starting at my Violin.

Its been ten minutes now. Me just looking at it.

I don’t know if I should pick it up. Im afraid. I sat on the ground in front of it, right at the opening of my closet where it lay. I ran my fingers around the case, remembering all the times I had to carry it around at school and to rehearsals. My fingers curl around the handle and I pull it out and into my lap.

I don’t know if I could bare looking at it.

I muster up any courage I have left and click the two locks open, lifting up the lid of the case. I see it.

Her strings where all destroyed. Curling and twisting in every direction. Everything they arent suppose to be. Her body was scratched and clipped. One of the saddest sights I have ever seen. I curl my fingers around the her neck and run them up and down the invisible frets where they used to live. I set it down.

How could he do this?

How could my own father destroy the one thing in life that made me happy?

“Fuck him.” I whisper to myself. Filled with anger towards the man who did this to my favorite thing in the world. I start to remember what happened that day.

“-The fuck is this?” My dad slurs. He’s been drinking. I know it.

He had stumbled into my room when I was trying to come up with a song for the solo recital that coming spring.

“My Violin?” I question quietly, stopping my moving fingers from playing any more beautiful music. Only to have it replaced with my dads hurtful words.

“No shit, son.” He retorts. “I don’t want to hear this shit anymore-“ He tried to grab my violin .

“No! What are you doing?!” I panic and hold her close to me, not wanted it to get hurt.

“Let the fuck go, you-“ He begins to swing out and misses by a hair. I ducked and ran toward the hallway but I wasn’t quick enough. “You don’t know whats comin’ to you, boy!” He screams at me and pushes me down to the ground. My violin flew from my hands and skidded down the hallway. “N-No, I d-didnt do anything!” I scream in fear. Please don’t hit me. Please don’t hit me. I cover my face and I feel a sharp heavy pain go into my abdomen.

Fuck.

I grabbed my stomach as tears began to run down my face. I tried to sit up and scoot away but I just made it easier for him to corner me, with my back against the wall.

“You try to disobey your own father, do you?!” He yells with a sharp slap across my face. “I said I don’t want you playing that shit anymore! Thats for girls! Go fucking play a damn sport for once! Or maybe convince someone to actually be your friend!”

He picks me and drags me to my room and throws me on my bed. I whimpered and backed away quickly from him. It was no use. He was a big guy, he caught my foot and dragged me back to him.

“Do you hear me?! Never again!” He yells with anger I’ve never seen him have before.

This was different. Dark.

I couldn’t respond to him, I was crying too hard. The sobs were choking me.

He punched me into my ribs, and I curl my back in pain. My body just a helpless little ball now. “No? Well I guess Ill have to teach you then, huh son?!”

It felt like it never ended. I couldn’t tell where one hit started and one ended.

They all blended together in one massive feeling of agony.

I feel the burning and stinging all over my body, and my heartbeat pulsing through every new bruise. With one last hit to my head, my vision starts to blur.

The Last thing I see is my dad leave my room and come back holding my favorite thing in the world. He grabbed her and swung her against the wall next to my bed. I felt her chips falling on me. Her beautiful music-making pieces.

Destroyed.

With a shuddering sob, My vision goes black

And I see nothing.

I blink and find myself back in my room. Flashbacks scare me.

I havent thought about that day in years. I quickly wipe away a tear that was falling from my eye lashes.

I had to cancel my recital after that. I was devastated.

My dad told my mom that I had destroyed it. I couldn’t say anything. My mom grounded me for two weeks for something I never did.

My mom still has no idea that my dad did it.

I slip her back into her case, close it, and set it back into my closet. I went over to my bed and laid down, looking out the window.

God, I want to see landon. I never wanted to leave his house. When he first told me that…you know…well, I didn’t care. I was just kind of surprised. I guess I shouldnt be. I don’t know.

I have never wanted to be close to someone. Especially a boy. Landon is so different. So Innocent and untouched. He doesn’t have any preconceived notions or bad intentions. He is just him. Landon does what his heart tells him to do. Always.

When I told him that something was different with us, I wasn’t lying. I really, truly meant that. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. My heart thought so too. He agreed with me. Landon knows something is different. I think he's happy...but scared about it. I’m the only person he has talked to, besides his mom and therapist, in 11 years.

That has to mean something.

And the way I feel about him, its not like a normal friend thing. It’s…more. Like, Something else. More special. Two guys don’t treat eachother like we do.

Its different with us. And we don’t care.

I keep gazing out my window, lost in my thoughts, when I notice that I can see landons bedroom window from mine. I keep staring and searching, seeing if I could find him. Sure enough, I see him walk across the window, and into his closet. He grabbed something and headed towards his window, opened it and climbed out.

What the hell is he doing? He’s going to fall off!

I nearly fell of my bed in panic when I see him set climbing onto a little ledge on the roof right next to his bedroom window. He laid a blanket down, curled up and started drawing. I sighed in relief and watched my heartbreaker.

He was gazing directly into the lavender and yellow sunset. Those colors were doing wonders for his eyes.

My god.

I looked away feeling like I was being some kind of stalker, but within two minutes I couldn’t help myself and I slowly lifted my head up and gazed at him.

I think he was drawing the sunset. He would look into the sun, then back down at his paper over and over again.

A breeze of summer air blew across his face and into the willow tree next to his house, and he laughed to himself as it tickled his face. He really was the most pure soul I had ever met. Probably the purest soul I will ever meet.

I was so tempted to go over to him and ask if I could join him. I enjoyed his company so much. I enjoyed him so much. I knew I couldn’t, though. He said he needs time, and I will respect that.

Because I respect him.

He stretched his arms up and out and closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling, then puts his arms back down and stares at the sky that was now turning dark blue and purple. He took his sketchpad and set it aside, scooted his legs out from under him, and laid down on his roof, staring at the clouds. He rested his head on his arms and sighed. Then closed his eyes.

I hope he doesn’t fall asleep out there. He could get sick.

Or…

He could roll right off the roof!

I quickly got up from my bed, ran down the stairs and though my front door on my way across the street to his house. As soon as I reach his front door, I start to knock quickly. The door opens almost immediately.

“Oh, hi Ever, I never knew you left” Mrs lee laughs.

“Yea, sorry, Is it ok if I come in?” I ask quickly. Not wanting to waste any time.

“Of course.” She says with a smile and lets me through. I practically sprint up to his room and through his door, I see his curtains blowing with the wind coming through his window. I run over to his window and see him laying on the ledge.

Fast asleep.

“Sugar, wake up, it isnt safe to be up here!” I whisper hastily. I didn’t want to be loud and scare him. He would surely fall of if I did that.

He slowly blinked his eyes open and looked at me. “E-Ever? Why a-are you h-here?” He asks while rubbing his eyes and his rosy cheeks.

“I…saw you lay down on here, but it isnt safe, so I came to…make sure you didn’t fall.” I ramble nervously, trying to catch my breath. He just looks at me with innocent eyes and doesn’t say anything. “Come here.” I say. I lean out the window and slip my arms under his and pick him up. He wrapped his legs around my waist and I carried him to his bed, then laid him down.

“Don’t scare me like that.” I whisper. He was still staring at me in wonder.

“You c-came here j-just t-to make sure I d-didnt fall?” He said to me, laying on his side, curling up to a pillow.

“Well, yea, I guess…” I say with a shy laugh.

“Thank y-you.” He whispers drifting back to sleep.

“You’re welcome.” I say and run a finger down his cheek. He smiles, and I leave him to nap in peace as I make my way back to my house.

I cant believe I got so worried, so quickly. Jesus, I practically broke my leg on my way to his house because I was running so fast. Why did I get so scared?

Because you care about him. The voice in my head said.

Well, of course I do.

But its different this time. It keeps talking to me.

Again, I know. I have already thought about this.

You know something, you just don’t want to admit it.

Wait, what the fuck? No I don’t.

Do I?

“Shut up.” I say to my thoughts as I grab my hair in frustraion. I reached my door, open it, and walk up to my room. I saunter over to my desk and sit down, staring at a poem that I had started the other day. It sucked ass. I crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. I sat there staring at a blank piece of paper, wanting to get inspiration.

Hm.

I knew what I was going to write about.