A Lesson in Relationships

Alex smiles at me as I lay next to him. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck. He flinches away and sighs, “Sorry, Jack.” He lies back down and cuddles into me.

“It’s okay,” I purr, “If I make you feel uncomfortable, let me know. I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“No, Jack, I promised you I’d act normal. I used to not do anything when you touched me. It’s just, you making me feel that way, will help me.”

I nod and twirl his hair in my fingers. He bites his lip and inches his face to mine, pressing his lips on my nose. I grin, this was him being adorable. I couldn’t stand it, I just wanted to connect our lips and make out with him. But that was a terrible idea. That would freak him out.

So instead I slowly move my arms around his waist, pulling him closer when he doesn’t flinch or push me away.

I was so glad he was past the phase of pushing me away. It broke my heart every time he did it. I couldn’t imagine him doing that to me for a long period of time. Neither would I want to live or have to deal with that.

“Jack… I umm,” he blushes, “Umm… never mind.”

“No, Lex, what?” I ask.

“It’s… its nothing.” he shakes his head.

“No, Lex, it was something, what is it baby?”

“It’s just… I was reading about getting over the whole… you know…” he uses hand gestures, implying what had happened.

“Alex remembered what Dr. Ramos said…”

“I was reading people stories about how they got over being raped.” He lets out a sigh. He hated to admit what happened. He just wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, and not accept it. That wasn’t the way to go about this though. He knew that. I practically preached it to him.

“Yeah,” I respond, knowing getting somewhat curious.

“Well… ummm…” He blushes, “Forget it, its stupid.”

“Babe, nothing you say is stupid. Everything has a meaning.”

“Well… in the articles I was reading… one person said they were able to deal with it- I mean being raped, by umm…” He trails off.

“Come on, Lex, I won’t laugh at you.”

“They got over it with having sex.” He looks away, biting his lip. He bit his lip so hard it turned white.

Say something Jack, before he’s bleeding.

“Hmm… Lex,” he looks up at me, nerves swimming in his eyes. “I’m totally fine with that, but only if you feel comfortable with it. I don’t want to push you.”

“I heard it helps Jack. It’s just I don’t know if you ever want to you know,” he squeezes his eyes closed, knowing he can’t get away with hand gestures. “Have sex with me again.”

That surprises me… why would he ever think that?

“Of course I would baby, why would you think I don’t want to?”

“Cuz of what happened… because I’m tainted.”

“How do you- oh…” I frown. How could he think of himself as that? I told him it doesn’t matter to me. He was still my Alex. He did nothing wrong. I’m positive, that I did. “Lex, it doesn’t matter. You’re still you.”

He nods, “… I-I know, but I just wasn’t sure and um-”

“Lex, it’s okay. I get it, but I’m not like that. I don’t hate you for what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know… I just wanted to put it out there.”

“Lex?”

“Yeah?” he asks with wide eyes. He looked so adorable. I was very tempted to squeeze him, but I contained my urge.

“Go to sleep, babe. It’s been a long day.”

He closes his eyes, cuddling into my side. “Night, I love you Jack.”