Burning Desires

I was sitting back at Denise's apartment we hadn't really talked much since I had tried to kill myself in er bathroom. She looked at me with nothing but concern written on her face, I honestly didn't know what to do. I didn't want pity what I did want I couldn't have because he was engaged and I'm pretty sure the other thing I wanted didn't want me either.

"You should talk to him."She said to me suddenly and I looked up.

"What?"I asked softly as I pushed my black hair from my face.

"You should talk to him, he misses you. If you could have seen his face that night at the hospital...you would have been so worried for him more than your self."She told me and I buried my face into my knees.

"I cant talk to him, he hates me."I whispered softly. "I ruined what relationship we had."

"You can fix it, the only things that are broken are the things you don't even bother to go back and fix, Jade." She told me seriously and I rubbed my face.

"Just call him, let him know you're okay."

"Fine, fine."I said picking up my cell phone and calling Brian.

"Hullo?" His groggy voice said from the other side of the phone.

"Oh..I'm sorry did I wake you?"I asked him lightly and I heard him sit up.

"No no its fine, how are you feeling?"He asked me and I smiled a little.

"I'm fine, how about you."I asked lightly.

"I'm okay, I was so worried about you....why'd you do it Jade...you know what you mean to..all of us."He said.

"I'm not entirely sure really I just wanted the pain to stop and it wouldn't so...I figured..."

"Its never the answer baby..."He said to me, hearing him call me baby made my stomach flutter and my heart start to pound.

"Jade we're taking a break from tour...."He told me and I gasped.

"Why?"I asked.

"We're all worried about you and...we, me and you need to talk..."He said to me and I gulped.

"Matt said he isn't leaving Val....he said he can't."He told me and I felt my eyes water up.

"I think I knew that...."I whispered hoarsly.

"Whats he got that I don't Jade?"Brian asked me.

"I don't know...I really don't but I...you can't choose who you love..."I whispered.

"But you can choose how much it hurts..."He said to me and I closed my eyes.
"Sometimes you have to love the things that are good for you."

"I know...I..I do love you...."I whispered.

"You don't know how happy that makes me..."He said to me his voice cracking a little.

"No...no no crying."I said to him seriously.

"Sorry."He laughed a little making me smiled.

"When can I see you?"I asked.

"Now if you want..."He told me.

"Good...meet me at Emos on sixth street."I told him.

"See you there." He said the phone clicking.