You Jump, I Jump. Right?
Chapter 22
I was gobsmacked at the revelation. He loved me, when he barely knew me. I didn’t love him. My body wasn’t capable of loving, it was broken. I sat thinking for around 3 minutes, and in the end Lee decided it was time to act.
“Obviously you don’t feel the same way. Can’t say I blame you,” His voice was pained. He stood up to leave and without thinking my hand captured his, pulling him back down next to me.
“Lee...I don’t love you. I barely know you, and you don’t know me...besides, I don’t think this body is capable of loving. Maybe if I wasn’t dying, Lee; but I am. I don’t think it wise if we spend time together. It will only make it harder for you when I am gone. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like some time alone to think.” My voice was soft, a whisper in the night. “I would appreciate it if you told Edward to keep out my head.” I got up, and kissed him on his forehead, before I drifted outside more, climbing into a tree.
I slowly climbed a tree, my body to weak too move quickly, and sat on a tree branch; the sun had gone in and was replaced by a half moon, which shone down like a beacon of light.
How much longer did I have left? A year? Maybe less? It wasn’t fair for Lee and I to love each other. It would only hurt him. I was afraid to touch, afraid of showing the real me. But then, who am I? I couldn’t remember, I doubt I’ve ever really been me.
I was interrupted when I felt someone climb onto the tree with me. I had never seen the man before. He was tall, with dark skin and shaggy long hair and carried an awful smell with him. He was a wolf.
“Hey.” He said cheerfully.
I didn’t reply to him.
“So, I’m guessing you’re Eviee.” He said it as a statement.
“Yup,” I replied.
“I’ve heard an awful lot about you.” He grinned. “Is it true you made Emmett strip in the cafeteria at school once?”
“Yes,” I smiled.
“Nice one.” He nodded in satisfaction. “So then, what you doing here...in a tree?”
“Thinking.”
“Having any luck with that?”
“Nope.”
“Okay. I’ll just leave you to your thoughts.”
He began to get down.
“Wait.” I pleaded.
He looked up.
“Can you tell me something?” I edged.
“Of course.”
“What would you do if there was someone who loved you, and you wanted to love them but was afraid to do so? Maybe because you know you would hurt them in the end?”
“I would still love them and let them love me. What’s life without love? Without love there is no point to life. Afterall, it's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. It would be like having the nicest smell in the world around you, yet you move away from it to stick your head down the toilet.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust, then grinned, proud of what he had just said. “Just love him, Eviee. I know Lee loves you. Christ, while you were gone he was forever asking questions about you. Edward got a bit fed up of him, what with him stealing everyone’s memories then just replaying them in his head. Are you coming inside?” He asked.
I shook my head.
“Okay. I’ll see you around, Eves.”
“You too Seth. Thank you.”
My mind was in dispute. In chaos over which path it should take. In the end it decided. I headed back inside, everyone was sat around the TV. They were silent, watching me with curious eyes.
I stood in front of Lee.
“I’m not promising anything, but I will give it a go.” I headed towards the stairs. “Night everyone.” They all murmured night back.
“Thank you.” I heard Lee whisper, before I was succumbed in my bed.
“Obviously you don’t feel the same way. Can’t say I blame you,” His voice was pained. He stood up to leave and without thinking my hand captured his, pulling him back down next to me.
“Lee...I don’t love you. I barely know you, and you don’t know me...besides, I don’t think this body is capable of loving. Maybe if I wasn’t dying, Lee; but I am. I don’t think it wise if we spend time together. It will only make it harder for you when I am gone. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like some time alone to think.” My voice was soft, a whisper in the night. “I would appreciate it if you told Edward to keep out my head.” I got up, and kissed him on his forehead, before I drifted outside more, climbing into a tree.
I slowly climbed a tree, my body to weak too move quickly, and sat on a tree branch; the sun had gone in and was replaced by a half moon, which shone down like a beacon of light.
How much longer did I have left? A year? Maybe less? It wasn’t fair for Lee and I to love each other. It would only hurt him. I was afraid to touch, afraid of showing the real me. But then, who am I? I couldn’t remember, I doubt I’ve ever really been me.
I was interrupted when I felt someone climb onto the tree with me. I had never seen the man before. He was tall, with dark skin and shaggy long hair and carried an awful smell with him. He was a wolf.
“Hey.” He said cheerfully.
I didn’t reply to him.
“So, I’m guessing you’re Eviee.” He said it as a statement.
“Yup,” I replied.
“I’ve heard an awful lot about you.” He grinned. “Is it true you made Emmett strip in the cafeteria at school once?”
“Yes,” I smiled.
“Nice one.” He nodded in satisfaction. “So then, what you doing here...in a tree?”
“Thinking.”
“Having any luck with that?”
“Nope.”
“Okay. I’ll just leave you to your thoughts.”
He began to get down.
“Wait.” I pleaded.
He looked up.
“Can you tell me something?” I edged.
“Of course.”
“What would you do if there was someone who loved you, and you wanted to love them but was afraid to do so? Maybe because you know you would hurt them in the end?”
“I would still love them and let them love me. What’s life without love? Without love there is no point to life. Afterall, it's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. It would be like having the nicest smell in the world around you, yet you move away from it to stick your head down the toilet.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust, then grinned, proud of what he had just said. “Just love him, Eviee. I know Lee loves you. Christ, while you were gone he was forever asking questions about you. Edward got a bit fed up of him, what with him stealing everyone’s memories then just replaying them in his head. Are you coming inside?” He asked.
I shook my head.
“Okay. I’ll see you around, Eves.”
“You too Seth. Thank you.”
My mind was in dispute. In chaos over which path it should take. In the end it decided. I headed back inside, everyone was sat around the TV. They were silent, watching me with curious eyes.
I stood in front of Lee.
“I’m not promising anything, but I will give it a go.” I headed towards the stairs. “Night everyone.” They all murmured night back.
“Thank you.” I heard Lee whisper, before I was succumbed in my bed.