Memoirs of a Love Story
Favors for the Man
It had almost been 6 months since I had left behind Czaree but most of all Ryan in Los Angeles. I had e-mailed them both every day for a several months until eventually there replies became short and sporadic. They had obviously moved on, and I tried not to get hurt every time I read about Ryan’s new girls online. It was now my job to find out gossip as such. I was co-morning host of the morning program on AMIX, which encompassed Alternative, metal and indie music as a magazine, radio station as well as a TV channel.
It was Monday morning, 9:30, and our show had just finished. I walked out of the studio and everyone was running around frantic. I walked up to my manager Jay who was on the phone to Susie, who was the host for the afternoon live request show on the TV station. I heard a few heated words exchanged and the saw Jay slam down the phone.
“Ah, Aimee thank god you’re here…”
“Ha-ha what do you want now?” I said. He always seemed to ask for favors.
“Well… Susie is well absent and we need someone to cover her this afternoon”
I sighed; I had a date with my boyfriend this afternoon… “Can’t you get an intern to cover?”
“No! We need someone who will not freeze up when talking to Panic at the Disco live in the studio,” he said calmly
“P-Panic at the Disco?” I said nervously.
“Ah yeah, don’t tell me you will freeze up,” he said giving a rather stern look.
“No, it’s just we have a history which didn’t turn out according to plan,”
“So? See journalism is a cutthroat world SCQueen, do you think I would have gotten where I am today if I did not do the shit jobs at JJJ? Would I be a good reporter if I just did not want to interview the PM, just because I did not agree with his views? It wouldn’t would it now?”
“I guess not… ok I will do it” I said reluctantly “who is coming?” I asked inquisitively.
“Ah singer and guitarist I think… but I will check” great, I thought; why it could not be at least Spencer and Jon, I hardly talked to them and I doubt they would even recognize me. “Nah it’s the whole band, and they are premiering there new song live by playing it in the studio”.
“Oh, cool… um so what time do I need to be back here?” I said hoping I could get away first and at least get a coffee.
“Well it’s what 9:40 now so I want you back here by 10, we’ve booked you in for a hair appointment with the studio hairdresser so you can go straight there, and we will get Mia to get you a suitable wardrobe for the show.” I was somewhat offended at this remark, as I thought I did not look to shabby now.
“Ok you look offended but if you’re on national TV we want you to look hot, and your scene-I-don’t-care look doesn’t do anything for you. We will turn you into a chick that looks like a scene expert, so you appeal to the wider audience and they take you seriously. In addition, no one has seen what you look like, you a mysterious voice and mastermind behind the breakfast show. So you want to make a great first impression, and if you hit it right with the producers you could have a permanent spot on the request show, you could travel…”
I hated when he mentioned travel, because he knew that was exactly what I was planning to do when I saved up enough money. I smiled and nodded in approval, and headed out to the nearest star bucks. I drank my latte, went, and got my hair done. They did not do much to it, except for dye it black, with a few blonde highlights. After my hair appointment I began walking back to the studio, it was only a few blocks away.
I saw a limo pull up to the draw gates. ‘I bet that’s them’ I thought to myself. I did not know how he would act, would he be hostile, or would we kick off our where our relationship ended. The limo drove past; they obviously were not looking out the window thank god. I got to the gate and checked out.
“Aimee?” I heard a yell from behind me; I rolled my eyes and turned around.
“Oh my god Czaree!” I was over the moon; I had missed my best friend so much it was not funny. She ran over and hugged me.
“I haven’t heard from you in ages!” she said,
“I did write… just when I didn’t get replies I well thought you had moved on”
“No! Girl I have been trying to get you for months! I am engaged!” she said showing me a rock on her hand.
“Wow! Congrats, when did Brendan propose?” I asked,
“About a month after your letters stopped coming.” I looked over to the limo, and Brendan had just gotten out, he was squinting to see who it was, and began to walk over when he could not make it out.
“Before Brendan gets here, does Ryan hate me?”
“Well no-“
“Hey Brendan!” I said that with a smile, he still had not recognized me
“Hey… um babe, we need to go inside and meet the interviewer beforehand” he said semi-quietly into her ear.
“Well the interviewer isn’t inside yet.” I said smiling
“Oh, where is she?”
“Well BrennyBoi05 she is standing here!”
“Oh, cool. Wait how you know my IM address. Oh my god it’s you!” he said jumping up and down like a little girl. Czaree and me where in hysterics, and Spencer and Jon quickly joined us.
“Spence its Aimz, you know from about 6 months ago…”
“Oh man Ryan is going to flip when he sees you, you look so different I can hardly recognize you!” he said hugging me, “It’s an extremely good change by the way,” he said winking causing me to blush.
“So where is Ryan?” I asked.
“He is still in the limo waiting for Catalina to get ready” said Jon
“Who is Catalina?” I asked and the group gave each other awkward glances
“His fiancée” said Jon taking a drink from the McDonalds cup in his hand.
“Oh ok… well um… I have to err go and get ready. Like I need to be changed and stuff… um do me a favor, and do not tell Ryan I am interviewing you guys ok. I sort of go by SCQueen as my alternate person and well he won’t recognize me.”
“You sure?” said Czaree looking at me sympathetically
“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to cause awkwardness.”
I walked towards the stage door, right past the limo just as Ryan was getting out. He did a double take.
“Hey, um sorry if this is random but do I know you?” he said as he held his new Latin treasure by the waist.
“No, you must be thinking of someone else sorry…” I said quickly and to the makeup department.
 
”Good Afternoon Australia, I am SCQueen and I am filling in today whilst Susie is on Holidays. Not only will we be playing your video requests, we are premiering Panic! At The Disco’s new single, and they join me here today in the studio. Hey Guys, so what’s it like to be in Australia again?”
“Oh I love Australia, my fiancée Czaree is from here so it’s good to catch up with the other halves family and friends.” Said Brendan grinning goofily at me.
“The last time you guys where here you did one acoustic set and that’s it, so what have Panic Brought for their fans this time?”
“Come on everyone knows the acoustic session was a cover up” said Spencer piping up
“Oh really, well why where you hear then?” I said already knowing the answer.
“We were here to buy me clothes,” Ryan said, with a flawless face on. I was taken aback by this remark. I thought he cared a little more for me then that.
“Oh ok, that’s good Australian clothing needs support from celebs. Now back to you shows this time, what do you have?”
“Well SCQueen, we have our usual Circus Troup, that play during the older stuff, then for the stuff on our recent album we are more like ourselves on stage, no dancers nothing. It’s just us finally being who we truly are.” Said Ryan, I loved his passion in the way he talked, he was always so sincere, and his brown eyes where to die for!
“Sounds great, now we will check out Mama live at the Sydney Entertainment Centre, requested by Zoe from Narooma NSW, Smashing Pumpkins Bullet with Butterfly Wings requested by Drew in Adelaide, and finally Beautiful Lie By s
“And Where Off” said the stage manager, and everyone went back to chilling. We had 15 minutes to relax and get a quick drink before the next segment begun.
“Okay guys, according to this viewer questions are next, um it looks like there is a list here and you guys got to choose numbers and yeah…”
“You don’t seem too confident,” said Catalina coming over and sitting on Ryan’s lap.
“Well that’s before I usually don’t do live telecasts, and I usually am on radio.” I said looking sheepishly at Ry. He knew I got a job offered at Triple J, and when that fell through, I came across to AMIX that at the time was just a small radio company but exploded when Kisschasy and My Chemical Romance invested in a small portion of the magazine.
“Oh… Hey didn’t that Aimee girl work in radio?” said Jon, everyone stared at him. It was not as if he was not there when I told him not to say anything about me.
“Yeah… That’s who I thought you look like earlier,” said Ryan
“Oh… um well err I am flattered but I am not her.” I said feeling my face go red.
“Well that’s too bad; I would really like to meet up with her.” Ryan continued as his eyes stared deep within my soul.
I excused myself and walked over to my temporary dressing room. I told one of the assistants to knock on my door when it was about time to go back on. Why did he have to come back now? I was just building a new life; I had just gotten over missing his letters, his voice. I missed how he understood me so much. I missed how we could be on the phone for 2 hours, and not say a word, but I felt like we had the longest conversation of our lives.
I looked at the mirror, how could in one day I change so much. My hair was hardly different, but my face… it was covered in this stuff they call make-up, and my face felt fake. ‘All for image and ratings’ I was told, but I couldn’t wait to get it off. I heard a knock at the door.
“It’s Open!” I yelled, quickly trying to take off some of the make-up.
“Aimee, how are you?”
I began to turn around whilst answering “I’m good, how about, Ryan?” I said turning around to see Ryan at the door.
“I knew it was you, I could never forget those eyes.”
“I, I…”
“Brendan told me you didn’t want to know it was you.” I turned my head away I could not look him in the face. “Why… didn’t you miss ‘us’,” this caused me to snap.
“I did miss us Ryan, I missed you, and I missed every god damn thing about you. I wrote you every day for a month and when I ended up not getting replies I thought you had moved on! Then when I saw you get out of the cab today with Catalina and I found out she was your fiancée I was well cut deep. I mean it has only been 6 months since we broke up, and I waited for five of those until I even started dating again! I… I loved you from deep within me, so deep I cried for months when you stopped emailing and calling”
At that moment there was another knock on the door, this time it was the assistant telling us we had 3 minutes before we went on air again. I went back to the couch on stage and everyone was sitting back in there original order. When we went back on air, they answered the viewer’s questions about life, love, sex and other randomness. Then they went over to the set and got ready to play there single whilst I promoted there album.
As soon as the show was over, I quickly went out the door and towards the studios exit. I hailed a cab and made my way back to my apartment, I checked my voicemail there were five new messages. 2 from Drew (my boyfriend), 1 from my mother saying that Czaree was home, and 2 from Ryan saying he would like to meet up and got my phone number by ringing my parents. I went to the fridge and grabbed a cold beer sat down on my couch and decided I was going to forget the events of today
It was Monday morning, 9:30, and our show had just finished. I walked out of the studio and everyone was running around frantic. I walked up to my manager Jay who was on the phone to Susie, who was the host for the afternoon live request show on the TV station. I heard a few heated words exchanged and the saw Jay slam down the phone.
“Ah, Aimee thank god you’re here…”
“Ha-ha what do you want now?” I said. He always seemed to ask for favors.
“Well… Susie is well absent and we need someone to cover her this afternoon”
I sighed; I had a date with my boyfriend this afternoon… “Can’t you get an intern to cover?”
“No! We need someone who will not freeze up when talking to Panic at the Disco live in the studio,” he said calmly
“P-Panic at the Disco?” I said nervously.
“Ah yeah, don’t tell me you will freeze up,” he said giving a rather stern look.
“No, it’s just we have a history which didn’t turn out according to plan,”
“So? See journalism is a cutthroat world SCQueen, do you think I would have gotten where I am today if I did not do the shit jobs at JJJ? Would I be a good reporter if I just did not want to interview the PM, just because I did not agree with his views? It wouldn’t would it now?”
“I guess not… ok I will do it” I said reluctantly “who is coming?” I asked inquisitively.
“Ah singer and guitarist I think… but I will check” great, I thought; why it could not be at least Spencer and Jon, I hardly talked to them and I doubt they would even recognize me. “Nah it’s the whole band, and they are premiering there new song live by playing it in the studio”.
“Oh, cool… um so what time do I need to be back here?” I said hoping I could get away first and at least get a coffee.
“Well it’s what 9:40 now so I want you back here by 10, we’ve booked you in for a hair appointment with the studio hairdresser so you can go straight there, and we will get Mia to get you a suitable wardrobe for the show.” I was somewhat offended at this remark, as I thought I did not look to shabby now.
“Ok you look offended but if you’re on national TV we want you to look hot, and your scene-I-don’t-care look doesn’t do anything for you. We will turn you into a chick that looks like a scene expert, so you appeal to the wider audience and they take you seriously. In addition, no one has seen what you look like, you a mysterious voice and mastermind behind the breakfast show. So you want to make a great first impression, and if you hit it right with the producers you could have a permanent spot on the request show, you could travel…”
I hated when he mentioned travel, because he knew that was exactly what I was planning to do when I saved up enough money. I smiled and nodded in approval, and headed out to the nearest star bucks. I drank my latte, went, and got my hair done. They did not do much to it, except for dye it black, with a few blonde highlights. After my hair appointment I began walking back to the studio, it was only a few blocks away.
I saw a limo pull up to the draw gates. ‘I bet that’s them’ I thought to myself. I did not know how he would act, would he be hostile, or would we kick off our where our relationship ended. The limo drove past; they obviously were not looking out the window thank god. I got to the gate and checked out.
“Aimee?” I heard a yell from behind me; I rolled my eyes and turned around.
“Oh my god Czaree!” I was over the moon; I had missed my best friend so much it was not funny. She ran over and hugged me.
“I haven’t heard from you in ages!” she said,
“I did write… just when I didn’t get replies I well thought you had moved on”
“No! Girl I have been trying to get you for months! I am engaged!” she said showing me a rock on her hand.
“Wow! Congrats, when did Brendan propose?” I asked,
“About a month after your letters stopped coming.” I looked over to the limo, and Brendan had just gotten out, he was squinting to see who it was, and began to walk over when he could not make it out.
“Before Brendan gets here, does Ryan hate me?”
“Well no-“
“Hey Brendan!” I said that with a smile, he still had not recognized me
“Hey… um babe, we need to go inside and meet the interviewer beforehand” he said semi-quietly into her ear.
“Well the interviewer isn’t inside yet.” I said smiling
“Oh, where is she?”
“Well BrennyBoi05 she is standing here!”
“Oh, cool. Wait how you know my IM address. Oh my god it’s you!” he said jumping up and down like a little girl. Czaree and me where in hysterics, and Spencer and Jon quickly joined us.
“Spence its Aimz, you know from about 6 months ago…”
“Oh man Ryan is going to flip when he sees you, you look so different I can hardly recognize you!” he said hugging me, “It’s an extremely good change by the way,” he said winking causing me to blush.
“So where is Ryan?” I asked.
“He is still in the limo waiting for Catalina to get ready” said Jon
“Who is Catalina?” I asked and the group gave each other awkward glances
“His fiancée” said Jon taking a drink from the McDonalds cup in his hand.
“Oh ok… well um… I have to err go and get ready. Like I need to be changed and stuff… um do me a favor, and do not tell Ryan I am interviewing you guys ok. I sort of go by SCQueen as my alternate person and well he won’t recognize me.”
“You sure?” said Czaree looking at me sympathetically
“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to cause awkwardness.”
I walked towards the stage door, right past the limo just as Ryan was getting out. He did a double take.
“Hey, um sorry if this is random but do I know you?” he said as he held his new Latin treasure by the waist.
“No, you must be thinking of someone else sorry…” I said quickly and to the makeup department.
 
”Good Afternoon Australia, I am SCQueen and I am filling in today whilst Susie is on Holidays. Not only will we be playing your video requests, we are premiering Panic! At The Disco’s new single, and they join me here today in the studio. Hey Guys, so what’s it like to be in Australia again?”
“Oh I love Australia, my fiancée Czaree is from here so it’s good to catch up with the other halves family and friends.” Said Brendan grinning goofily at me.
“The last time you guys where here you did one acoustic set and that’s it, so what have Panic Brought for their fans this time?”
“Come on everyone knows the acoustic session was a cover up” said Spencer piping up
“Oh really, well why where you hear then?” I said already knowing the answer.
“We were here to buy me clothes,” Ryan said, with a flawless face on. I was taken aback by this remark. I thought he cared a little more for me then that.
“Oh ok, that’s good Australian clothing needs support from celebs. Now back to you shows this time, what do you have?”
“Well SCQueen, we have our usual Circus Troup, that play during the older stuff, then for the stuff on our recent album we are more like ourselves on stage, no dancers nothing. It’s just us finally being who we truly are.” Said Ryan, I loved his passion in the way he talked, he was always so sincere, and his brown eyes where to die for!
“Sounds great, now we will check out Mama live at the Sydney Entertainment Centre, requested by Zoe from Narooma NSW, Smashing Pumpkins Bullet with Butterfly Wings requested by Drew in Adelaide, and finally Beautiful Lie By s
“And Where Off” said the stage manager, and everyone went back to chilling. We had 15 minutes to relax and get a quick drink before the next segment begun.
“Okay guys, according to this viewer questions are next, um it looks like there is a list here and you guys got to choose numbers and yeah…”
“You don’t seem too confident,” said Catalina coming over and sitting on Ryan’s lap.
“Well that’s before I usually don’t do live telecasts, and I usually am on radio.” I said looking sheepishly at Ry. He knew I got a job offered at Triple J, and when that fell through, I came across to AMIX that at the time was just a small radio company but exploded when Kisschasy and My Chemical Romance invested in a small portion of the magazine.
“Oh… Hey didn’t that Aimee girl work in radio?” said Jon, everyone stared at him. It was not as if he was not there when I told him not to say anything about me.
“Yeah… That’s who I thought you look like earlier,” said Ryan
“Oh… um well err I am flattered but I am not her.” I said feeling my face go red.
“Well that’s too bad; I would really like to meet up with her.” Ryan continued as his eyes stared deep within my soul.
I excused myself and walked over to my temporary dressing room. I told one of the assistants to knock on my door when it was about time to go back on. Why did he have to come back now? I was just building a new life; I had just gotten over missing his letters, his voice. I missed how he understood me so much. I missed how we could be on the phone for 2 hours, and not say a word, but I felt like we had the longest conversation of our lives.
I looked at the mirror, how could in one day I change so much. My hair was hardly different, but my face… it was covered in this stuff they call make-up, and my face felt fake. ‘All for image and ratings’ I was told, but I couldn’t wait to get it off. I heard a knock at the door.
“It’s Open!” I yelled, quickly trying to take off some of the make-up.
“Aimee, how are you?”
I began to turn around whilst answering “I’m good, how about, Ryan?” I said turning around to see Ryan at the door.
“I knew it was you, I could never forget those eyes.”
“I, I…”
“Brendan told me you didn’t want to know it was you.” I turned my head away I could not look him in the face. “Why… didn’t you miss ‘us’,” this caused me to snap.
“I did miss us Ryan, I missed you, and I missed every god damn thing about you. I wrote you every day for a month and when I ended up not getting replies I thought you had moved on! Then when I saw you get out of the cab today with Catalina and I found out she was your fiancée I was well cut deep. I mean it has only been 6 months since we broke up, and I waited for five of those until I even started dating again! I… I loved you from deep within me, so deep I cried for months when you stopped emailing and calling”
At that moment there was another knock on the door, this time it was the assistant telling us we had 3 minutes before we went on air again. I went back to the couch on stage and everyone was sitting back in there original order. When we went back on air, they answered the viewer’s questions about life, love, sex and other randomness. Then they went over to the set and got ready to play there single whilst I promoted there album.
As soon as the show was over, I quickly went out the door and towards the studios exit. I hailed a cab and made my way back to my apartment, I checked my voicemail there were five new messages. 2 from Drew (my boyfriend), 1 from my mother saying that Czaree was home, and 2 from Ryan saying he would like to meet up and got my phone number by ringing my parents. I went to the fridge and grabbed a cold beer sat down on my couch and decided I was going to forget the events of today