I Think I'm...

"That sounds awesome." Dirk yelled. "Guy this is are dream."
"Yeah, this is soo amazing," I shouted hugging Dirk
"Were actually touring, like around the states?" Vin asked.
"Yes, all 50 of them and if it goes good then you'll go to other countries," Chris smiled.
"This is so cool, were going to be huge," Zane yelled jumping around the room.
"Thank you SO much Chris," I smiled hugging him and he hugged me back.
"No problem, you guys worked hard for it but you guys better get packing soon."
"Why?"
"Because your going to start touring the end of next month."
"Shit," I yelled.
"Whats wrong Guy?" Dirk asked.
"I just thought we would have like a year or something to prep."
"No you guys are a new band, you have to get out there as soon as you can," Chris smiled.
"Beck goes back to school next Month," I sighed putting my head in my hands.
"The tour is 13 months long but you will get a break for Christmas, but then have to start up again before new years," Chris smiled trying to help.
"What?"i yelled. "Christmas is 6 months away."
"I know but you have to make it to all of the states and a few places in Canada."
"This is such shit," I yelled throwing a vase across the room only to hear it shatter and then silence.
"Guy, it will be ok," Dirk went to put his hand on my shoulder but i shrugged it away.
"sorry about the vase guys, I'm just gunna go for a walk," I sighed as the others watched me leave the house.
I walked and walked having no clue where I was going until I ended up at the park. I sat on the swing wishing I didn't have to spend 13 months away from Beck only to see him once.I was scared to tell him I was leaving. What if he got mad, what if he found someone better while were gone. I sat on the swing for hours until my phone ran.I saw it was beck and Didn't answer but when Dirk called I picked up and told him where I was. I waited for dirk to show up but Beck drove up in his car instead. I was going to get up and leave but decided that would be wrong. Beck came over and sat on the swing next to me and we sat in complete silence for a while.
"Dirk told you where i am?"
"Yep,"beck smiled.
"Sorry I didn't answer when you called."
"It's ok , I just don't know why your mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you, I just have to tell you something and I'm scared to see how you react."
"Well then tell me and find out."
"Ok," I took a deep breath."Were going touring."
"That's great," Beck jumped up and started hugging me.
"For 13 months, starting next month," I sighed into his shoulder.
"Oh,"beck tried to smiled and pulled away."That's still great, I mean its what you have always wanted."
"I know but how can I tour knowing your here in college all alone."
"I don't now babe," he sighed kissing my forehead. "Maybe the only way you can tour is if I'm not on your mind distracting you."
"What are you saying?"
"Guy you know I will always love you....."
"No," I cut him off. "No , I'm not going to break up with you. Beck I need you, you make me feel complete."
"But when your on tour you wont have me and you could meet someone who makes you feel the same way."
"No beck, its only you. it will only ever be you."
"Guy, I love you," he smiled before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around him kissing back."But I cant hold you back," Beck sighed pulling away from me.
"No," I yelled as he walked away. "I love you," I cried into my hands as he got in his car.
I sat on the ground crying onto my hands for hours. I didn't want to move from the spot I was in, I didn't even want to live anymore. Beck didn't love me anymore so what is their for me to live for. Without Beck I felt like nothing and that was all I would ever feel like. These thoughts kept coming to mind and wouldn't stop til someone ran over and hugged me.
"Whats going on Guy, Beck came home and packed stuff and then went to a hotel, he was crying."
"I figured he would leave, I'm surprised he was crying though" i sniffed.
"did you break up with him?"
"he broke up with me," i cried into Dirks chest as he pulled me into a tighter hug.