My Angel
Cancer
“No you have to change this part Frankie; it will flow so much better if you do” My little angle said in her soothing and quiet voice; I smiled as I watched her change a verse of one of our new songs. The guys and I thought something was missing; so I brought it with me today and my princess was more than happy to look over it.
“See it sounds so much better now” She said proudly as I read the changes over her shoulder; she leaned to the left grabbing her bottle of water and taking a few sips.
“Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
And baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
We're counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know.”
“Wow that is so much better; thank you baby. The guys are going to love this now” I smiled down at her as she snuggled into my body more; I tighten my grip on her but not tight enough to hurt her. She smiled up at me and I felt my stomach flip; I would never get sick of seeing her million dollar smile.
I leaned down pressing my lips against her’s softly; she instantly kissed me back harder and deepened our kiss. I pulled her even closer to me; just needing to feel her against my body. I was going savour every second we had together and burn these moments into my brain; I was never going to let myself forget her.
I groaned out in frustration when we were irrupted by a nurse who had to check on my girl; this was the part I hated, I hated being reminded that the love of my life was going to leave me. I wanted to forget that she was sick, that she was going to die, that she had chronic myeloid leukaemia.
I wanted to spend at least one day with her and not have nurses check on how she was doing; sometimes I wanted to throw a fit and make her start having chemo again, just so I could keep her to myself for a bit longer.
“Frankie they just doing their jobs, they have to check on me” She told me with a smile as the nurse left; I knew she was right but I still didn’t like it. I pouted down at her as we cuddled on her hospital bed; she giggled rolling her beautiful eyes at me.
I loved everything about her and I was going to miss everything about her; I loved how even though she was sick and weak she still put everyone before herself. She helped us out with writing and recording songs even though it wore her out, she went out and brought us lunch even though it hurt her to walk down the street.
“Remember how we met? It was the greatest day of my life” I smiled down at her; she smiled back snuggling up to me. That was the only sign I needed to keep talking; she loved listening to me tell her about the day we met, she always said I told it better than she did.
“The guys and I had just finished a show and were packing everything up; I offered to start packing the cars up and walked outside carrying my guitar case. Once I was outside I looked both ways to make sure no fans were going to jump me; but when I turned to look at my right I felt my guitar case hit something. I looked around but couldn’t see anything; I heard this quiet groan and looked down. I saw the most stunning woman sitting on the ground holding her head; I instantly realized what happened when I saw your shoelace was undone”
“I kneeled beside you apologizing over and over again; when you looked at me I swear I died and went to heaven. After I checked your forehead for any damage and tied your shoelace for you; I knew I had to see you again. Not only were you beautiful and had an amazing personality; you didn’t start screaming when you realized who I was, and I loved that.”
“So I asked you out and thank God you said yes; I helped you stand up and my stomach was filled with butterflies by just holding your hands. I walked you to your car to make sure you got there safely; I watched you drive away and returned back to the venue with the biggest smile on my face. When Gerard asked what was up; I told everyone I could about the angel I had just met” I smiled remembering that night like it was yesterday; but in fact it was two years ago and I’ve had my angel all that time.
“I love you Frank” She whispered quietly smiling to herself; her eyes were half closed like how they get when she’s tired. “I love you more angel” He whispered kissing the top of her head; I watched as her smile widened and her eyes closed completely.
Her muscles loosened and her body went limp against mine; I clenched my jaw together as a river of tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I felt my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. I held her tightly in my arms not wanting to let her go; I cried heavily into the crook of her neck not wanting to believe it, but I knew she was gone now.
My angel was in heaven and she was always going to be watching me; she would look after me and protect me, and she’ll never leave me because she will always be in my heart.
“See it sounds so much better now” She said proudly as I read the changes over her shoulder; she leaned to the left grabbing her bottle of water and taking a few sips.
“Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
And baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
We're counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know.”
“Wow that is so much better; thank you baby. The guys are going to love this now” I smiled down at her as she snuggled into my body more; I tighten my grip on her but not tight enough to hurt her. She smiled up at me and I felt my stomach flip; I would never get sick of seeing her million dollar smile.
I leaned down pressing my lips against her’s softly; she instantly kissed me back harder and deepened our kiss. I pulled her even closer to me; just needing to feel her against my body. I was going savour every second we had together and burn these moments into my brain; I was never going to let myself forget her.
I groaned out in frustration when we were irrupted by a nurse who had to check on my girl; this was the part I hated, I hated being reminded that the love of my life was going to leave me. I wanted to forget that she was sick, that she was going to die, that she had chronic myeloid leukaemia.
I wanted to spend at least one day with her and not have nurses check on how she was doing; sometimes I wanted to throw a fit and make her start having chemo again, just so I could keep her to myself for a bit longer.
“Frankie they just doing their jobs, they have to check on me” She told me with a smile as the nurse left; I knew she was right but I still didn’t like it. I pouted down at her as we cuddled on her hospital bed; she giggled rolling her beautiful eyes at me.
I loved everything about her and I was going to miss everything about her; I loved how even though she was sick and weak she still put everyone before herself. She helped us out with writing and recording songs even though it wore her out, she went out and brought us lunch even though it hurt her to walk down the street.
“Remember how we met? It was the greatest day of my life” I smiled down at her; she smiled back snuggling up to me. That was the only sign I needed to keep talking; she loved listening to me tell her about the day we met, she always said I told it better than she did.
“The guys and I had just finished a show and were packing everything up; I offered to start packing the cars up and walked outside carrying my guitar case. Once I was outside I looked both ways to make sure no fans were going to jump me; but when I turned to look at my right I felt my guitar case hit something. I looked around but couldn’t see anything; I heard this quiet groan and looked down. I saw the most stunning woman sitting on the ground holding her head; I instantly realized what happened when I saw your shoelace was undone”
“I kneeled beside you apologizing over and over again; when you looked at me I swear I died and went to heaven. After I checked your forehead for any damage and tied your shoelace for you; I knew I had to see you again. Not only were you beautiful and had an amazing personality; you didn’t start screaming when you realized who I was, and I loved that.”
“So I asked you out and thank God you said yes; I helped you stand up and my stomach was filled with butterflies by just holding your hands. I walked you to your car to make sure you got there safely; I watched you drive away and returned back to the venue with the biggest smile on my face. When Gerard asked what was up; I told everyone I could about the angel I had just met” I smiled remembering that night like it was yesterday; but in fact it was two years ago and I’ve had my angel all that time.
“I love you Frank” She whispered quietly smiling to herself; her eyes were half closed like how they get when she’s tired. “I love you more angel” He whispered kissing the top of her head; I watched as her smile widened and her eyes closed completely.
Her muscles loosened and her body went limp against mine; I clenched my jaw together as a river of tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I felt my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. I held her tightly in my arms not wanting to let her go; I cried heavily into the crook of her neck not wanting to believe it, but I knew she was gone now.
My angel was in heaven and she was always going to be watching me; she would look after me and protect me, and she’ll never leave me because she will always be in my heart.