Her Flux

All Nathanial could do was stare at the woman in front of him. She had just told him that her daughter had died and she was as calm as she could be. At that moment nothing made sense to Nathanial. He could feel a headache coming along with all this and he felt as if he was having a nightmare he was bond to wake up from. But he didn’t. As much as he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched his skin, he still was seated across a very serene Addison.

“Do not judge me Nathanial,” Addison spoke ferociously. Her face looked vindictive in the yellow-orange candle light as her blue eyes glared at him. The shadows on her face made her look all the more threatening. “I see that I shall have to go even further back into the depths of our past. Let me explain,” Nathanial only nodded. His throat was dry and he didn’t have the strength to argue.

“After Thomas and I were wed we decided we wanted to have children. But that task seemed to get more complicated by the minute. Unfortunately, I had two miscarriages and we were about to give up. I felt as if the world was falling down on me. Those were the hardest months of my life. In the spring of 1699, Thomas and I were thrilled to discover that we were expecting another child. We prayed that God would let us keep this one. I had no pain for nine months. I was able to appear at many events. As you know the Providence family was known as South Shropshire’s royalty,” Nathanial only nodded as he listened carefully. “Still is. It was the night when we passed from one century to another when I felt the pain. Thomas called Cecile, who’s been with us for years and had her deliver the baby.”

“The birth went smoothly. At midnight, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Thomas was happy beyond belief. We shared that joy with your uncle, who happened to be at our castle that night. I wished to name her Hermione and Thomas agreed. I remember falling asleep that night and awakening an hour later. Thomas was shouting something and he was holding little Hermione in his hands. It was then when we realized that she was dead. Thomas was a walking disaster. He cried and cursed God, while I saw the room closing in on me and I fainted. I do not remember much what happened that night until the point when I woke up again. I was in our bed alone. I thought the death of my child had been only a dark nightmare. It was when I opened my eyes did I saw the real nightmare in front of me. I remembered everything. I knew that my child was dead and she was covered with a black blanket. I covered my wet face with my hands and cried. I cried until a light blinded me.”

“I stood up immediately upon seeing my child in the hands of an unknown woman. She was wearing a white cloak with a white dress underneath and she was glowing. Her face was pale and soft, her eyes were a shade of gray and her hair was gold as the sun. She looked at me and smiled warmly. I could not believe my eyes. I thought that I was going mad. Seeing my speechless form she sighed and started explaining. She told me what she was. She called herself “a Whitelighter”. She said that they were “guardian angels” of mortals, but that we never knew of them. She said that the only times when mortals are allowed to see them was when it was necessary and she considered this situation necessary. She told me their history; how they lived up on the heavens and how they can heal people with their flux. Their flux...” she gestured awkwardly with her hands. “Is that aura you saw around Erica. It some sort of an energy that lets them heal and protect people. I know little of it. She said only people of pure souls can inherit such powers and only after their death. It was a choice they were given: to live forever as Whitelighters or move in the afterlife.”

“With a power of a Whitelighter, one can heal and orb to any place he or she desires. I asked her the reason to why she was me telling me this. She chuckled and lowered the lifeless body of Hermione in the cradle. She put both her hands over her body that was covered with that black blanket and her palms started to glow more than they already did. Then a cry echoed in the room and she pulled the blanket off and revealed little Hermione. Alive. She was breathing, crying and glowing. The first thing I did was take her in my arms. I thought that I was dreaming. The woman smiled before she told me that Hermione had been murdered by an unknown evil force that night. She told me that everything was going to change from now on. Hermione would never be able to be normal, for she was meant to do great things. If she hadn’t been murdered that night once she had died she would have become one of them. But having been murdered at such a young age, she told me that I had to take care of her until she was 18 years of age. Until she was able to make her own choices. She said that on the night of her 18 birthday I will see this woman again. Erica will be given a choice, just like every other Whitelighter. But in her case there would be only one difference: She would either choose and become one of them and leave this Earth… or she could stay and live without powers until death claims her once more.”

“She warned me not to tell anyone about her, but Hermione’s cries reached Thomas’s ears and he was by my side standing bewildered. He looked at the woman and then at our child. He demanded to know what was happening. Instead of explaining everything all over again, the Whitelighter smiled and gave me the black blanket. She said that it would absorb all the light from Hermione when needed. And she said one last thing: her name was not Hermione anymore and that her name was now Erica. With that, her silhouette shrunk into a small ball of light before it disappeared.”

“Like in the dream I had…” Nathanial breathed. He realized he must have been holding his breath all this time, for his chest was pressuring him.

“We shall reach that part too. After the Whitelighter was gone and I told Thomas everything, we did not know what to do. It was then when your uncle helped us. He suggested moving away from Ludlow into a calm place where no one would be able to reach us. He said that if people saw her glowing they would claim that she was a witch for witch hunts were very active at the time. Sadly today Erica witnessed one of those hunts with her own eyes.”

“What?!” Nathanial rose from his seat.

“Clam down, I am getting there. Your uncle was kind enough to buy off our castle and he found us this estate. We have a deal. He will return that castle to us once all of this ends. A lot of people inquired about our whereabouts and we did not stay hidden for long. But we managed to slip away from the watchful eyes of society somehow. Cecile moved with us and Vilemina and George joined us after they were banished from Ludlow and her mother was burned under the accusation that she had been a witch. Erica’s glow faded with years and she learned to control it. I always made her believe that it was unladylike to glow. I never told her the truth. Instead, I convinced her that it was as shameful as shrugging. That seemed to scare her. For a while, everything seemed to come into place. Everything seemed to be going great until the day when her father almost died. I knew what Erica could do, so I pressured her into healing her father. Without Thomas I was lost. I did not know what else to do. She healed him, but she collapsed after doing so. We waited for days before she woke up.”

“One day, not long ago Thomas decided to bring you into this house. I was against it of course, but Erica needed someone new. She was sad and she was sulking. The day on your accident, you almost died. The injury on your head was irreversible and the doctor said that we should not hope for your survival. Then, without our permission, Erica came to your room and healed you. I found her collapsed on the floor in front of your room. You had the same dream as Thomas because she saved you both from the clutches of death. I guess there is a connection of some sort.”

Addison paused to look at Nathanial. He had a lost look and she knew that this was took much to take in. She sighed and continued. “When you left, she returned to her sadness. But young William gave her hope. He visited us quite often the last few days you were absent. The young boy fell in love with her and he asked us if he could court her officially. The day before he asked, Erica and I had a quarrel. I haven’t spoken to her since then. Today, while Thomas and I were in Ludlow, he came and snuck her out to Clun. Cecile went with them. In Clun a girl that was accused of being a witch was tied up and about to be burned. They did burn her, but somehow it rained and they all escaped. The girl was rescued by her brother and Erica followed him to the forest. She healed the girl and here she is again. Sleeping for four or more days.”

The candle wax was almost over as the fire slowly faded. Nathanial gulped and propped his elbows on his knees. He exhaled in his palms before he stood up. “You have to tell Erica the truth,” he said suddenly. Addison looked at him from where she sat.

“Once she wakes up, we will have to discuss a lot of things. An hour after Arthur Beckwith brought Erica-”

“Arthur Beckwith?”

“The brother of the girl Erica healed.”

“Oh.”

“After he brought her, William came looking for her-”

“Bloody bastard,” Nathanial hissed to himself. Addison’s lip overtook a soft curve and she smiled. A smile that turned into a genuine laugh.

Nathanial only stared at her. She brandished a hand. “I am not fond of their family either. They are intrusive people who like meddling where one has called them. I do not believe his love for Erica. Not for one second.”

“I believe you broke the courtship?”

“We could not. Erica is the one who has to bring that decision, though we asked him not to return in awhile. We pretended that it was some sort of punishment for their recklessness. We told him some rubbish about etiquette.”

“Clever,” he noted.

“Nathanial,” Addison stood up too and put a hand over his. He was surprised from her gentle approach. “You have to promise me that you will not tell anyone about this. I do not want to see my daughter suffering.”

He put his hand atop hers. “I promise,” he said and headed towards the exit.

“Are you going to sleep?”

“No, I was intending on seeing Erica,” Addison was about to protest when Nathanial shot her a glare. “I believe you owe me this. I want to be by her side when she wakes up.”

“She is not going to wake up for days Nathanial.”

“Then I will wait.”

Addison grabbed the candelabrum and exited the office. They walked together towards Erica’s room in silence. When they reached the top of the staircase Addison turned to him. “You really care that much for her?”

“Yes,” he answered with no hesitation. Her features softened and she smiled for the second time that night. She did not say another word as she led him to Erica’s bedchamber. Thomas jumped from his seat and looked between the both of them. Addison nodded and reached for her husband’s hand. She pulled him out of the room and closed the door behind her leaving them both alone.

At first Nathanial did not know what to do, so he just gazed at her from afar. She looked same as always, only lighter. For a moment he felt sick to his stomach. She was a Whitelighter or an angel or whatever that meant. Addison words crawled through his head like ants on pavement. But not a thing she had told him made him want her less. He loved her and it took him one day in London to figure that out. It took him one thought about her belonging to another man to realize. He loved this glowing, nutmeg haired, grey eyed, soft skinned girl. He did not care what she was. The only difference was that now he understood why she always looked perfect to him. It was because she was perfect. For a minute, different doubts clouded his mind: She was not for him. He did not feel good enough for her.

Those thoughts made him want to close the door behind him and run away. But he did not. Instead he walked over to where Thomas was previously seated and sat down. There were no candles in the room, for there was no need for them. Erica’s glow was more than enough. He took her hand into his and closed his tired eyes. Sleep did not come easily, for Nathanial kept musing about the future events Addison mentioned. What would happen when she turned 18? Will she stay with him or will she leave him for the heavens?