On My Way

I pulled over the car and started to cry again. What have I just done? I just told Hayden I loved him. Was It a lie? No. I have to admit. No, I love him. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. Probably Hayden was thinking I was a freak.
There was silence in the car maybe he already got out of the car! I took a deep breathe and removed my hands.
Hayden. All I could see was him. His eyes were locked on mine.. his beautiful eyes.. His sweet breath was caressing my face. I tried to breathe. He leaned more closer and pulled me closer from my weist. Then, It happened. His lips touched mine.
I must be dreaming. He tasted sweet, he was soft, more soft than my teddy-bear.

He stroke my hair and I wrapped my arms around him kissed him more passionately. The car seat leaned back and his body was on top of me. Everything was so , so right. His heart was beating on top of mine and every beat of his heart, pulsated through my body.

The clothes on me were only keeping me away from being closer to him and I needed to be closer to him than anything else in this universe.

"It's you.." he whispered in my ear, "I found you."
Every cell of me shivered and flames licked my body.

His hands gently removed my clothes and I removed his. Now, finally, we belonged to eachother without anything else. There was not a single sound but our breathing , the night was silent.
It was reckless, unconditional and deep. I ran my finger through his hair and kissed his neck as he entered me, and became all mine.

The most beautiful words escaped his lips, his most perfect breaths kissed my skin. His hands carressed all over my body, as almost he was trying to memorize me.
His fingers played with my hair and his eyes were locked on mine. His moans were so intense, his kisses were so hot.

I had never felt so close to anyone, so so close... Was it even possible to be this close?

I could live inside such a moment , every moment that we were together.
Making love inside a car, under the stars, for hours, with my soul and body was the second craziest thing I had done in my life , the first was falling in love with Hayden.
I knew I belonged to him, it was him, I had found him.

***

I lay on the backseat of the car , my head on Hayden's chest. My body felt refreshed.
Last night was still glimmering on my skin, my eyes, my breathing.

He was stroking my hair. I smiled and sighed. " I am sorry for all that crying and drama.." i whispered. Hayden kissed me on my forehead and whispered back ; " Doesn't matter now Alexa. I love you, you love me, happy ending!". I laughed and turned my face to him, he kissed me and caressed my shoulder. He laughed too and pushed me on my back, pulled my body closer to his. I talked before he could kiss me again , " Hayden.. We must get back on the road.." . He pulled himself back and looked out of the car window. "Mm.. Okay.. Just give me a moment"
I giggled after he kissed me once more and got my undies from the front seat and my jeans and t-shirt.
When Hayden got dressed too we were back on the road, now heading to Dublin. The roads were almost empty and It was a beautiful morning.
I took out my phone and called Mariah, she had been texting me non-stop and I wasnt answering. Mariah answered my call after the first ring ;
- Oh my God! Alexa, finally!
-Mariah, you wont believe what happened?!
-I will If you tell me about it now!

So I told Mariah about what happened after we arrived at Giselle's house and the party. Then I told her what happened in the car . Mariah listened to me on the phone in silence then finally said ;
- Oh my God, Oh God , holy .. woah! Alexa you must be mad! You are having the adventure of a lifetime over there and I am stuck here! This sounds like a movie!
-Well.. You could've come with me..
-I would bother you two lovers!
-Oh shut it!

Mariah giggled. I realized I had missed her.
-I missed you Mariah. A lot. I really need a girl friend right now!
-I missed you a lot too Alexa. Please take care of yourself, I got to go now.. By the way, whats going on between you and your parents?
-I've been texting them , telling them I am fine but no answers . I just hope they dont get the police involved.
-If they had , you would know It by now. They must be angry at you. Anyway, I'll call you later Alexa.
-O.K. Love you babe, miss you. Mariah, you are a great friend honey!
-I know .. I know..

Giggling.

-Well .. Bye then!

I hung up and sighed. "Was it your friend?" asked Hayden. I nodded, "Yes. I miss her alot!". Hayden smiled. After a few minutes of silence Hayden started talking in a very serious tone ;

- Alexa, I want to talk to you about something. You know . . when we meet Aaron. . I mean ; you liked him very much when you were younger and , If your feelings for him. . .Ugh.. You know what I mean! I love you, you are very special to me but what will happen when Aaron comes, what will happen next? What will happen when this journey is over? Will we still be together , because things might change, I fear.. I just want to be sure that we'll be together forever , I know what I feel is real Alexa, I love you. But I am afraid of the future. What do you say?

I sat on the seat and thought about what he said. How could I not see this ..He was right, my future wasnt clear.. 'OUR' future wasnt clear. This was just a journey , but Hayden was more than a boy , and Aaron.. Aaron.. I took a deep breath and said ; " Honestly.. I really cant say anything right now. I just love you, but we'll figure it out". I had to think about it for a while, maybe a long while . . .

He lit up a cigarette and took a long deep breath from it.