I Thought You Could Never Love a Monster. I Was Wrong.

I felt my eyes closing, the darkness wanting to take it's place. I could hear the wind outside. The beat to how they swayed, how the sticks blew around. How the wind chime sang, it reminded me of before. . . .

"Mommy Mommy! Sing to me please!" I begged, struggling to get onto my 'big girl' bed.

My mother smiled down at me, setting herself down in the chair next to me. She tucked me in and kissed my forehead.

"I've always sung this to you. Ever since you were a baby, you know?" She said. I nodded, smiling.

The lullaby she sang to me every night soothed me. I fell asleep quietly with the song dancing around in my mind. It worked everytime.

She cooed, her beautiful voice whispered to me like it always did. Always in the same beautiful tone, and her dazzling motions.

Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm,
Horses prance through a silver storm,
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm,
Horses prance through a silver storm,
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Things it yearns to remember.

And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December...

The words drifted as my eyes closed, sealing up any light showing through my night light. I smiled when I felt my mother's lips kiss my temple.

"I love you." She whispered, before closing my door.

~
Random memories flashed into my head, burning into my brain, making sure that they'd stay in place. I trained myself to forget these memories, but they kept coming back, wanting to tortchure me. . .

"You're doing it, pumpkin! You're doing it!" My dad yelled as he pushed me on my two wheeled bike. I was six, and I had caught on to learning how to ride a bike just as fast as I learned a new tune on the piano.

I smiled, peddling faster. "I'm doing it daddy!" I cheered, just before the tired swerved uncontrollably, swinging me off my bike. I cried in pain as I saw the blood drip from my knee.

"Daddy! it hurts!" I screamed. He ran over, inspecting my knee.

He clucked his tongue. "Oh my...." He trailed off.

My eyes widened, "What?! What daddy?!" I shrieked. He put a finger to his mouth, 'shh-ing' me. I nodded.

"Oh. Okay!" He cheered.

"What daddy?!" I asked, worried.

He shrugged, "Seems like we have to cut it off and feed it to Chuck."

I gasped, placing my tiny hands on his face, "No! Chuck is too small. He's just a baby chipmunk! He'll choke!" I worried more of my little chipmunk than my own leg.

"Well, the only way we don't give it to him, is if you stand up and put a brave face on." He said reassuringly.

I nodded, standing on my little legs ignoring the sting from the scrapes of the sidewalk. I placed my hands on my hips, and shouted.

"I am a brave little girl! I can ride a bike! I fell and i'm proud!" I shouted, getting the nieghbor's attention. They smiled, going back to their yard work.

My dad chuckled, picking me up. "Right you are, pumpkin." He smiled, kissing my cheek.

~

I was eight, sitting next to my father on the piano bench. He was playing a beautiful peice, smiling down at me everytime I'd sneak my hand over to press a high key, trying to mess him up, and get my fair share.

Suddenly he stopped, then looked down at me. "How about, we sing our song?" He asked. And knowing what my answer would be, he switched the papers around, setting them to a piano piece that my father had written for me.

I face brightened, "Oh! Yes daddy! Yes!" I cheered, bouncing lightly in my seat.

"Alright, pumpkin. I know you can sing this now." He spoke, placing his hands on the ivory keys, and begain to play.

I chimed in at my time.

"Moon river, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, i’m goin’ your way.............."

I gasped, sitting straight in my bed. I flipped my hair out my face and concentrated on my breathing. I felt like I was going to break into peices.

"You alright, love?" Edward asked hesitently.

"I didn't know you were right there." I breathed in.

He had a smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "What happened last night?" He questioned.

I grimaced, biting my lip. "I thought I saw something. Don't worry about it. Stupid illusions..." I trailed off, faking my best smile.

He nodded, I knew he didn't believe me but he let it go. Suddently his lips were on mine, and for awhile, I kissed back. All awhile, thinking of that song.

"Moon river, wider than a mile....."

I stopped kissing him, and jolted out of the bed. "What..." Edward trailed, confused.

"I want to show you something...." I said, shrugging tensely.

He nodded, "Alright."

I guided him downstairs and made our way into the piano room. I looked to see Edward smile. "You want to write another song?"

I shook my head, he frowned. "No! Not that I don't want to... I just wanted to play something for you... Something that um..." I choked back a sob. "Nevermind. I'll just play it." Shaking my head again I set myself on the piano bench.

"Okay..." I whispered to myself, placing my fragile hands on the ivory keys in front of me. I inhaled, closing my eyes, trying to find the memory again. When my fingers pressed gently on each note, I found it and I played it all for Edward.

"Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

(moon river, wider than a mile)
(i’m crossin’ you in style some day)
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, i’m goin’ your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after that same rainbow’s end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me."

I snuck a peek to see Edward's jaw dropped. I started giggling at his expression. He composed his face long after my giggling stopped.

"That was beautiful. You wrote that?" He asked, curiously.

I bit my lip, "Kind of. My father and I wrote it when I was younger."

"Oh."

"Mhm." I mumbled getting off of the bench. "Let's go watch some hockey with Emmett." I smiled.

Confusion all over his face, "Hockey? Really, now?"

I playfully glared, "Duh! Hockey is awesome." I smiled, trying to hide back the aching throbs that pulsed through my chest.

We walked in, sitting down on the 'L' shaped couch. "Whose winning?" I asked Emmett who made a face.

"You like Hockey?" Shocked.

"Of course, stupid." I rolled my eyes, Rose smiled over to me.

"Who are you cheering for?" He asked skeptically.

I sighed, "Black Hawks baby!" I cheered.

Emmett jumped up squishing me in a hug, and swinging me around. I squealed before he set me down.

"Hell to the mother-fuckin' yeah! You are totally my little sister!" He boomed, hopping back on the couch as I did.

"Ha, great." I smiled, putting my attention to the TV.

Alice popped in, her face contorted. Confusion, disbelief filled her face. Oh, and Disgust. She looked straight at me, no guilt in her eyes. Just confusion.

Then she spoke. "Why did you bother telling us that, that dog, Paul, imprinted on you?"

Fuck.