Manage Me, I'm a Mess

Alex’s Point Of View.

It’s been a few weeks since the first baby scan and the dinner with Katie.

I was just sitting in tour, spinning on the chair watching Rian drum. He finished and placed the drum sticks down and walked out of the room we were recording in.

“You alright, Al?” Rian asked chucking me a red bull.

Jack and Zack hadn’t turned up to recording yet. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too long, this record company was really pushing us but maybe it’s for the best. They know what their doing and I just want the best for All Time Low so I’d work as hard as possible. Yes it means I get more stressed and I don’t see Katie as much, or the baby. If Katie needs me she knows she can come to me though, maybe I should do something special for her actually. I go to all the scans for the baby and the check up’s.

“Yeah I’m fine just thinking”

Recently I’d been thinking a lot. A lot about Katie and it was worrying me. She’s been my best friend since high school but never has she been on my mind this much. A few months ago before the whole baby chaos I realized something; I may have some very small, minuscule feeling for Katie.

I was still with Sally-Ann when I realized my feelings, I started to distance myself from Sally-Ann and she realized and gave me a choice. I chose Katie, I’d always choose Katie.

Since I found out about the baby I got a lot closer to Katie. I love it She had agreed to basically raise my child with me. Soon we’d be living together and I know my feelings are just going to grow stronger. Is that such a bad thing? Who wouldn’t have feelings for such an amazing, kind, friendly, beautiful, amazing girl?

Zack had entered the recording studio while I was thinking. He began playing his bass practicing on a few of our new songs.

“Thinking about Katie?” Rian questioned. Was it that obvious?

I blushed a crimson red and avoided the question.

“Where’s Jack? We can’t fall behind on recording we don’t want to be dropped from this label”

“Don’t avoid my question, Al.” Rian fake glared at me throwing his empty red bull can at me.

Should I tell Rian? It’s not that I couldn’t trust. Just admitting all my feelings will make them seem so real and just add to the mess that is my life. Pregnant ex, pregnant ex doesn’t want the baby so me and my best friend, who I think I’m in love with, are going to raise the baby while recording and touring with my newly signed band. Complicated

“I think, I think I love her” I stuttered out, blushing a darker shade of red and averting my eyes to a poster on the wall.

I heard Rian choke on his new red bull and Zack trip over a cable.

“YOU WHAT” They both screamed at me. I turned back to them, there mouths were nearly hitting the floor. Zack sat next to me and sighed. Oh no what was he going to say? Rian pulled his chair closer to me. They were closing me in and had serious faces.
“You know she was in love with you for like 2 years and you never loved her back just fucked them slut’s while she had her heart ripped out by you. God, and now she’s finally over you and”

“And now you decide you love her. You can’t tell her, your probably end up going back to Sally-Ann and breaking her heart. As her very close friends we won’t let you hurt her or yourself”

Wow harsh words from Zack and Rian. Of course I knew about Katie’s old crush on me but I never thought me being such a man-whore effected her. I guess if I saw her with lots of guys it would break my heart now. I was so mean to her and yet she is still the nicest person to me. I understand where Zack and Rian are coming from trying to make it so no-one gets hurt but what if I tell her and we work. We are practically a couple already and I think that we would have a future together. My family love her, her mum loves me, we know everything about each other, I love her, she loved me and we have been through so much together. But then again what if she was over me, what if her silly high school crush meant nothing to her. I’d be heartbroken and I’d probably lose her due to the awkwardness.

‘The hardest thing is loving someone that used to love you’ the quote is so true and I always say it to Katie when she asks if I like anyone. When I say it I sit and hope that she realizes it’s about her, so far she hasn’t.
Jack ran through the door giggling. Zack and Rian pushed themselves away from me not to arouse suspicion among Jack. We know he can’t keep his mouth shut.

“Barakat where the hell have you been?” Zack shouted at Jack as he cowered away from him.

“I dropped Katie at dance. I was being a good nice boy” Jack beamed. He was with Katie was he. Why was he with her? If she wanted to go to dance why didn’t she ask me? Why did she ask Jack?

A million questions ran through my mind and jealous shot through my whole body.

Jack walked into the room and started to play one of our songs.

“Boys, I’m done. I’m going to head out” I said and walked out the door grabbing my car keys and jacket. I was going to visit Katie and take her somewhere nice when she had finished dancing.

I walked into the dance studio I could hear the well known hit “Get Up” by Ciara.
There she was, she was dressed in her sweats but still as gorgeous as ever.
She was stretching her legs meaning I was just in time to see her dance. I loved watching her dance she was so passionate and you could see how happy she was. Also I am a boy and what she can do with her body would drive anyone crazy.

I loud obnoxious cough came from behind me. I turned round to see who’s way I was blocking.

“Oh fuuuu.”