Manage Me, I'm a Mess

Today was the day of another midwife check up. Alex couldn’t make it to this one as they had a show. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he didn’t come. It’s been 2 weeks since the kiss and we only have 1 more week left of tour.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

Tour has been fun apart from the two weeks after the kiss. Everything became awkard just like I thought it would. When me and Alex parted after the kiss he went on stage and played an awesome show. I went back to my merch tent and carried on like usual, just feeling on top of the world. The next day was a free day and I was thinking of spending it with Alex. With the kiss I thought maybe we’d become an …item?

It didn’t happen. He didn’t come and see me after his show, and I didn’t see him the next day. I spent the next day with Jack. He said he knew where Alex was and that Alex said that if I asked just to let me know that he was safe and would be back soon. Jack asked about the kiss and I blubbed it all to him. The old feelings, the new stronger feelings, memories of me and Alex and the kiss.

So Jack knew and I think Zack and Rian kind of guessed. The surprised me and didn’t push me away instead they comforted me when Alex returned and blanked me. They told me he was just confused unsure about what we was now. Worried about our friendship.
Surely he could see all this awkwardness was pushing us further apart.

The flight had just landed and I grabbed a taxi to Sally-Ann’s place. I quickly knocked and she greeted me with a large grin. Me and Sally-Ann are a lot closer now and I see that when she try’s she can be a very nice person. Her grin soon fell when she noticed my clothes and face. Full of gloom, I couldn’t be bothered with my appearance no more. The only reason I was here at Sally-Ann’s was because Alex had asked me. It was the first time we had held a conversation in the two weeks, he even asked me to text him to let him know I was safe. Somehow that gave me a little bit of hope in our future.

Sally-Ann pulled me into her apartment and sat me down. She quickly put the kettle on and demanded I spill and I did. Much more than I did with Jack, yes Jack was a very close friend but he was still a boy and Alex’s best friend. He didn’t understand all the girly feelings but Sally-Ann did. She advised me on what to do.

“Have fun on the rest of the tour. Let Alex have his fun and space. He will come back to you Katie he always will he is head over heels in love with you, but him being the stupid boy he is doesn’t know how to act. You’d think the kiss would have told him you liked him, oh but not with dopey Alex”

We chatted and chatted for ages and I felt more and more closer to her. The midwife arrived and everything was fine with the baby. It was only a month and a bit until the baby would be born.

Me and Alex needed to sort ourselves out and sort out all the baby stuff out.

stressful