Our Heat Is Gone

Well that couldn’t have gone any worse. Chris came back a few minutes after Matt left that day and tried to make me feel better. Even though he had been telling me to just accept whatever comes my way he believed that somewhere deep down inside of Matt was still my best friend. It was hard to believe, but I was determined to try again. I don’t know when, but I couldn’t stop trying yet.

There was about two weeks of Warped tour left and nothing had changed. Josh and I managed go avoid each other successfully. Things with Cameron were still going great. He learned to deal with Josh being around. If anything I think he didn’t have anything against Josh anymore. He became friends with Chris, Max, and Dan. Max and I were back to the same as we used to be before I left and everything seemed to be going alright for the most part until I got devastating news after the other.

Cameron and the guys just got finished playing their set today. The signing wasn’t until an hour from now, but I’d been noticing Cameron with a sore expression on his face and he kept rubbing his throat.

“Cameron, are you okay?” I asked as we walked back to the bus. He stopped and coughed a bit then looked up at me and nodded. I just shrugged it off and kept on walking with him.

“What was up with your voice just then, Cameron?” Wes, their new guitarist, asked. He usually liked to joke around a lot so I just smiled to myself at his silliness. Although, I noticed Cameron glare at him and then flipped him off.

Wes stopped laughing and we all watched as Cameron silently walked to the bunk area. The three boys looked over at me and I just shrugged. That was out of the ordinary unless he was joking also.

“I don’t know any more than you do.” I replied with my hands up. “I’ll go see what his deal is though.” I said and got up from my seat at the table.

I walked over to Cameron and I’s bunk and opened the curtain. He had his headphones on, but when he noticed me he looked up and took his headphones off, scooting in more to make room for me. I got in next to him and closed the curtain. Cameron slung his arm over my shoulders as we lied there in silence; well I could faintly here the music blaring from his headphones that were wrapped around his neck. When that song ended Cameron shut off his iPod. I took this moment to finally speak up.

“What’s going on, Cameron?”

He didn’t respond.

“Are you mad at what Wes said? You know he was just joking. He’s like that.” I asked and reassured.

He still didn’t say anything.

“Did I do something?” I asked unsurely and sat up getting out of his grip.

He quickly looked up at me and shook his head. “No.” His voice cracked. I realized it and looked at him worriedly.

“Are you sick?” I asked. He shook his head this time. “What’s wrong with your voice then? Is it a sore throat?” He shrugged this time around. “Cameron, you’re going to have to try a little more because I can’t get through anything with you if you’re just going to nod or shrug.”

“Okay, okay.” He tried to say, but it came out weak. You could barely hear him and his voice sounded pretty bad. “I’m not sick, but my throat does hurt pretty bad. It’s been like this for a few days now. I kept thinking it’d go away, but it just feels like it keeps on getting worse each day.”

“Cameron, you should have said something when you first suspected it.”

“I didn’t think it was anything serious.”

“Well still, your job requires you to go out and sing every other night and you can’t put on a good show if you sound like this.”

“You’re right. I should go to a doctor or something on our day off tomorrow.”

“Good. I’ll go with you.”

“No, you can stay I don’t want to take any downtime away from you and your friends. They’re only on this tour with you for a few more days and I always have you around.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am. Now can we nap before I have to get up for the signing?”

“Only if you go make sure that you aren’t mad at Wes. He looked kind of guilty back there.”

“I will when I get up.” He said and pulled me back down to lie next to him.

The guys finished their signing that day and things seemed to be okay again except Cameron’s voice got even worse. It sounded terrible. The next day during one of the breaks he had left the bus early with an appointment at the nearest clinic while I lounged around in the bus with Wes and Eric; David had tagged along with Cameron. Max hopped on a few minutes ago and we were both playing FIFA on the game system. He consistently winning and I was getting frustrated to say the least. I hated to lose in video games.

“Dammit to hell!” I said dropping my controller on the space between Max and I on the mini couch.

Max laughed and turned his head towards me. “Your skills haven’t changed at all. You still suck!” He said.

“That’s what David says. She and him play games all the time and she loses for the most part. Then she gets all pissy and walks out to find Cameron.” Eric explained.

“Shut up, Jones!” I barked.

“Oh, she used the last name on you!” Wes spoke up.

“You guys are stupid.” I said and rolled my eyes, getting up from my seat, and made my way to the door.

“See! She’s pissed so she’s walking out! Cameron's off town, Lexi!” Eric yelled where as I flipped him off on my way out.

I hopped off the bus and checked the time on my phone. I was supposed to meet up with Dan on his bus ten minutes ago, but I was wrapped up in the game. I started walking further down a few busses while also trying to text Dan back.

A few steps more I collided with someone. I should really watch where I was going. My phone got knocked from my hands and I slightly stumbled back.

“You’re so fucking clumsy.” He commented.

“You let me run into you.” I retorted.

“I’m not at fault here.”

“That’s right you never are. It’s my fault. It’s always my fault.” I scoffed and picked up my phone off from the ground.

“Least you can admit it.”

“Just get out of my way, Josh.” I said and tried walking past him, but he blocked me.

“Where are you going?” He asked suddenly.

“What does it matter to you?” I asked and tried to walk around him once more, but just before I found a new route through him he grabbed my arm and pulled me back harshly making me hiss. His grip was pretty tight. I noticed he had pulled me close to him. I looked around to see if anyone saw that violent gesture and would get the wrong idea, but we were in an area that was completely abandoned.

“I don’t, but your bus isn’t on this side of the lot.” He replied looking me straight in the eyes.

“How would you know that?” I asked curiously and tried to avert my eyes away from his cold icy blue ones, but my eyes settled on his lips. My breath suddenly got caught in my throat and I was beginning to feel weak in the knees. I hadn’t been this close to him for about a year or so. There was no doubt in me that there was something there still for Josh.

When he didn’t reply, it should have told me that being this close to him was a bad idea. The next thing I knew, Josh’s lips meshed with my own and I found myself quickly responding to his kiss. His tight grip around my upper arm loosened and snaked around my waist and pulled my body even closer to his. I sighed through my nose and placed my hand on top of his chest and the other instinctively placed itself on the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. Josh’s other hand on my hip squeezed lightly emitting a moan out of me. He smirked in the kiss and I took the initiative to present my tongue to him again for the first time. Surprisingly he had no problem with it as we continued to make out by a random tour bus in the lot.

Josh had me pinned against it and his hands moved dangerously against my body. One minute he was running them all over and the next he was slipping his hand up my shirt, but never all the way. I raked my fingers through his messy hair and lightly pulled it, which earned me a muffled moan against our lips. I don’t know how long we stayed engaged in this activity or why it was even going on, but in that moment I wasn’t complaining and it felt good even though it was so wrong in so many levels for us.

The phone in my pocket began vibrating between us knocking us both out of our trances. We pulled away reluctantly and started at each other for a few seconds. Then when the buzzing from my phone started again we backed away from each other so suddenly as if one of us were disgusted with the other. I dug the phone out of my pocket and answered it.

“Lexi, are you okay? I thought you said you were on your way here. I’ve been waiting for a while now.” It was Dan. I was about to respond with me telling him that I was on my way for sure this time until I saw Josh walk off towards the direction I was heading to. Great, he was going back to his bus, which means it’s off limits for me.

“I’m fine, Dan. I don’t think I’ll make it this time. I think I saw you know…heading that way.” I tried to explain.

“Are you sure? He said he was walking around-“ Dan paused, but I could faintly hear a door slam shut. “Oh, nevermind. I guess I’ll see you at the next stop then?” I agreed and stuffed my phone back into my pocket before heading towards my bus.

What the hell just happened? How do I explain that kiss? It didn't help that he just walked away either. I knew he and I needed to talk now whether he hated me or not. I could care less if he hated me right now.

I hopped on to bus and noticed Max was still here playing the same game. He really liked that FIFA game. It was also evident that he was left alone.

“Where did Wes and Eric go?” I asked standing across from him, but I was leaning on the wall.

“They went out to catering; got hungry. Where did you run off to?” He asked and shut the game system off.

“I was supposed to meet up with Dan, but I ran into-“ I caught myself and shut up before I could belt out his name. How was I supposed to just say that? We’d been avoiding each other perfectly this whole tour and I let my guard down and worse I cheated.

“Ran into who?” Max asked. He stared at me waiting for my reply and then I knew I couldn’t lie to him even if I tried. I didn’t want to risk our repaired friendship.

“Josh.”

“No way. What happened? What did he say to you?” He asked his eyes lighting up.

“Nothing really.” I shrugged.

“Bullshit. What happened?”

“We ran into each other while I was on my way to see Dan and he started asking me why I was going that way when my bus was on the other end. I asked what did it matter to him and when I tried to leave he just pulled me back in. Then-then…”

“Then what?” He pushed.

“The next thing I knew we were making out. I don’t know for how long, but we didn’t stop until my phone kept vibrating. Lucky for me, Dan called or else I don’t know how far we would have let that go or who could have seen us! This is bad though, Max! Very bad. I cheated on Cameron. He’s at the clinic not feeling well and I’m here sticking my tongue down another man’s throat. How am I going to explain myself to him?” I started panicking.

“Calm down, Lexi. Calm down.” Max said standing up and placing both hands on my shoulders.

“What am I going to do, Max? Cameron is going to be so mad.”

“Just don’t tell him then.” He simply replied.

“What? I can’t do that. We just promised to never keep things away from each other and Josh and I was the last secret revealed. If he ever found out about this, I’d lose him and I can’t-I can't let that happen, Max." I said starting to choke up. I swear if Cameron walked out of my life I don't even know what would happen. He's the only one keeping me in America and almost going.

Max shook his head and pulled me into his arms. "Shh, Lexi." He said trying ti calm me down. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to find comfort. "I didn't mean that. You really do have to tell Cameron about what happened between you and Josh. He has to know. I know it's going to cause some trouble, but you can't keep that away from him. From what you told me that wasn't just a kiss. You two made out and didn't know how long it would have gone if Dan had not called you."

"Cameron's going to be so mad though."

"Yeah, he might get mad, but if you explain to him-"

"How am I going to explain something like that? I don't even know how it happened. He kissed me and I don't know..."

"There you go. You said it yourself, Josh kissed you, not you kissed him. Sure, you kissed back, but I think you just got caught up in the moment. You're obviously beating yourself up over thinking how Cameron will react. You wouldn't care if you weren't concerned."

"How do you know he'll be understanding about the situation."

"Cameron's a smart guy. I don't think he'll be an ass about it.

"I can't tell him now though."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't look well and he's just coming back from the clinic. I don't want to keep giving him depressing news after the other."

"I guess, you're right; but again, don't wait too long."

"This is stupid. It's better off said than done."

After I said that, the bus door opened and one by one came The Downtown Fiction. Eric came in followed by Wes, they both had a plate of food and a beverage in their hands. "Hey, hey! Look who we found!" Wes said setting his food down on the table by Eric. Then David and Cameron became visible.

"Max, you're still here." David commented.

"Yeah, but I was just about to head out. I have a signing to get to in a bit. I'll see you later, Lexi." Max said turning to me and giving me a hug before he left.

Wes and Eric were eating their lunches at the table. David was occupied by something on his phone and Cameron was staring at me. I smiled lightly at him, feeling a little guilty. He just shot me one of his gorgeous smiles in return. He didn't say anything since the guys got back. I take it his voice was still somewhat gone. I guess David noticed the few moments of silence, besides hearing Wes and Eric chowing down on their food.

"He's not allowed to speak so much." David said.

"Why not? What did the doctor say?" I asked turning my attention towards him.

"He has to get throat surgery done soon."

"What?" I exclaimed. I knew his throat was a bit more sore than normal, but I didn't think it was that serious.

"Yeah, he has to keep his talking to a minimum until then and he can't sing for the next month or so."

"Warped ends in two weeks. What does that mean?" I asked although I was pretty sure what the answer was. I was scared to hear it though.

"We have to drop the rest of the tour." David answered.